


Maybe We'll Find Out Together

by aquariumsdelight



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Including But Not Limited To - Freeform, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, The Universe Is A Big and Confusing Place, a universe where alternia and earth are mixed, and a few of the species alternia conquered also live on alterniearth, fairies mermaids goblins centaurs etc., succubus!dave, virgin!karkat, will add tags and characters as i go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:22:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2497766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquariumsdelight/pseuds/aquariumsdelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Sometimes, he's just Dave.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>  <em>The ordinary, cool, human Dave. And he's okay with that.</em></p><p>  <em>But sometimes, he can feel someone else pulsing under his skin, some other side of him that forces its way in and pushes everything else to the side. A person that leaves him feeling breathless and confused and stronger than ever before. Every day is a fight. Because he doesn't know whether to keep it chained or set it free.</em><br/><em>--</em><br/><em>Karkat is a college kid trying to make it in the opportunistic town of New Skaia, who has a loving moirail and no worries in life. Karkat is a college kid who is failing his classes, is completely out-of-place in New Skaia, and is afraid he might be the one who cares more. Karkat is a kid who is trying to make it in life, despite his blood disorder and the fact the world likes to kick him when he's down.</em></p><p>  <em>Karkat is so, so tired.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Dave Meets Karkat

**Author's Note:**

> my first homestuck work on ao3~  
> please be gentle with me  
> but also tell me if i made any horrifying mistakes that'd be much appreciated

When Dave woke up, he wasn’t in his apartment. He was somewhere way nicer, if the expensive fan and painted ceiling was going to speak for anything. This was starting to become a bad habit.

Dave squinted from the ray of sunlight zigzagging across the bed. One hand shot out for his sunglasses, which had been placed on the bedside table in front of a _Persons_ magazine. He slid them on and tumbled out from under the covers. The nymph he’d met up with was still sleeping, her silky green hair so long it spilled over the pillow and off the sides of the bed.

As far as he could remember, she’d been pretty decent.

Not that he really remembered anything.

He found his clothes and quickly slid them on, checking his pockets and coming up with his phone and his wallet. The phone, complete with a background of The Bank in full swing, revealed that it was five a.m. Dave wasn’t surprised, considering that he always woke up at five a.m.  Once he’d stayed up until four and he still found himself blinking awake at five. Like clockwork.

It gave him enough time to find his way out of a house before things like ‘breakfast’ and ‘phone numbers’ came up. Lately, he’d found himself skipping out at midnight and crawling back into his apartment while the sun rose. It was an itch under his skin. Normally, the thump of the bass could offset it but now…

Now he had to find a way out of this house.

There were a few text messages from Rose, all of which basically summed up into ‘You left early last night. Found something to occupy your time with?’ He knew replying would only feed her crazy incestuous Freudian fire, so he didn’t bother replying. Instead, Dave opened up his wallet for one of his cards.

Dave still remembered the face the girl at Fedex had made when he showed her what he needed fifty business cards for. She refused to print them, and it was only after he asked for the manager that she begrudgingly put the order in. He saw her point. It was pretty obvious that he wasn’t using them for any business.

“ _Thanks for the wonderful night. I have work early so we missed each other. Maybe we’ll see each other again?”_ Complete with chocolate swirls, cappuccino background, and if you squinted, a very small Hella Jeff in the corner. Actual perfection.

Of course, Dave didn’t plan on seeing any of these people again. But it was a lot better than ‘thanks for the sex, see you never’ and studies show that a lot less people tend show up angry at his door when they thought they had a chance. Dave winced. That was a little harsh.

Dave stumbled through to the front door, down the stairs, and to the streets. A few morning joggers waved hello to him, but other than that the neighborhood was quiet. The two moons, purple and green, were staggered in the sky above. Still half-asleep, he dialed the second number on his speed dial. A taxi showed close to fifteen minutes later, just as he was starting to refine the beginning of a pretty sweet rap. Dave climbed into the backseat. He propped his legs onto the other chairs and leaned against the door.

“It’s-“

“Don’t bother. I remember from last time.” The cabbie switched to drive and took off, leaving the row of brick townhouses behind. Wow, Dave didn’t even recognize this part of town. Exactly how far out had he gone?

He remembered waking up at eleven pm, hungry and lust-ridden. Twelve or so, dancing somewhere with bright lights and sirens. A girl. Then a guy. A entire mirage of partygoers who he didn’t know. Finally, the one from this morning, winking and flirting with spearmint eyes. And then they went to her place.

 That was where his memories tended to stop: right where his incubus side took over.

The cab shook a bit as they turned onto the Alternia Bridge, which connected the two sides of New Skaia. Dave rarely had to cross it, considering most of his life was on the east side. The only thing on the west was Rose, who preferred the large mansions and sprawling forest to the city. Dave didn’t really care, as long as he was the only one who had the keys. Oh, and the city had clubs.

They sped through the early morning traffic, coming to a stop in front of the five- story apartment complex.

“It’s 34.95.” Damn. He had to make sure the place was within walking distance next time. All of his food money couldn’t go towards these little excursions. Dave laughed a little at that. Excursions, as if he wasn’t just looking for someone to do the horizontal tango with.

Dave passed the money along and entered through the doors. Soft music floated through the lobby, despite the scraped up wood and the walls that were more grey than white. He shuffled his way to the elevator at the end of the hallway. Once Dave got in, he pressed the top button. The music continued. It was a happy tune of violin and piano. Dave beatboxed under his breath, turning it into a hip-hop techno remix.

His apartment was down the hallway to the left. It was one of the few doors on the floor, and he was glad for that. Most neighbors didn’t take kindly to his loud DJing anyway, mostly because he didn’t put in headphones. He’d rather let the music blast, feel the music sing and thrum and tear through the walls like they weren’t even there. That was the same way people would listen to it at parties, so he should hear it like they did. Headphones made him feel like he was being selfish.

When the lock clicked and the door swung open, he ignored everything else and fell onto his futon. Within minutes he was fast asleep.

His alarm rung an hour later. Dave slammed the snooze button with a practiced precision. He thought about not getting up today. Then he remembered his woefully empty wallet.

Dave pulled himself out of bed and waddled off to the shower. There was a narrow window above the mirror, so he didn’t bother with the light switch. His hand turned the shower handle all the way to the right, then left, and waited until the water spouted out of the showerhead to turn it straight up. All of the tubing in the apartment was sort of funky like that. Some time ago, he had turned on the sink and ended up turning on the bathtub of someone in 4B.

His job (a store full of office supplies, business chairs, and “Everything the average business man would ever need™”) was still in East Skaia, but far enough to require the bus. The goal? To catch the illusive 7:45 bus. The bus driver was so impatient that there was a 7:55 bus just to pick up all the people the first had left behind. Which, of course, meant that the 7:45 was practically empty.

When he got out of the shower, Dave picked up his uniform from the wardrobe and threw it on. He turned back into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. A stain from yesterday’s hamburger was on the cuff, so he rolled both sleeves up. He straightened the collar just enough to look not too geeky, but not like a douche either. Discount gel and a comb gave his hair the iconic Strider look.  There. He was ready to face the world.

Wait! He picked up his sunglasses of his futon and slid them on, the surroundings gaining the familiar grayish tint. If he’d left without his glasses, who knows what would’ve happened. The stereotypes around incubi and succubae weren’t exactly the friendliest. And if any real incubi saw his irises, they’d know he was a human halfbreed. The first thing they’d do was swarm. And their next move would be to tear him apart. So Dave tried to have them on at all times.

His phone vibrated just as he pushed past the front door of the apartment complex.

 apocalypseArisen: b0ss says y0u’re 0n cust0mer service t0day

Dave let out a breath of relief. Customer service at Office Man was a joke; the type of irony that Dave really appreciated. Most of the customers were too busy to come back to the store to complain about malfunctioning staplers, so the desk was virtually empty. If anyone did come back, it was their timid secretary, which he’d rather take than the rampaging bigot. Damn, he should’ve brought his phone charger.

turntechGodhead: okay on my way

He lived close to downtown, so the buildings were large and overbearing. The sound of police sirens and jackhammers was a faint undertone to the wind between the trees. Up ahead, the sun shone brightly amongst a few grey clouds. And on the corner, the 7:45 bus arrived. Dave’s mouth fell open. He tried wiping his glasses (after all they had been smudged against his face for like two hours), but no. It was there.

And by the look on the driver’s face, it wasn’t going to be for long.

The fact that he could spread out his entire leg and lean on the window horizontally was worth the way he ran to catch the bus.

\--

“Good morning Dave!” Aradia waved over from her spot at the register.

“Hey.” Dave waved back, and nodded at the stock broker she was working on. The customer pursed his lips before turning to slide in his credit card, effectively ignoring the both of them. She had showed him the ropes on the first day, and they’d never stopped talking since. Who knows who he’d talk to if she wasn’t around? Definitely not- oh, speak of the devil, there he was now.

Equius was taking inventory with the scanner. Dave looked around, but the fastest way to the back was through him. Of course, it had to be the awkwardly cramped pen aisle and not the notebook emporium.  Of course. Dave adjusted his sunglasses and took a step forward.

“Ah, good morning Dave. You’ve been assigned to exchanges and returns.” Equius gave him what Dave guessed was a smile, but it was too lopsided to be anything other than uncomfortable.

“Good morning. Do you mind moving a little?” Dave said. The troll halted for a second, squeezing the pen in his hand to shards. The ink stains looked a little too much like Equius’s blood. Dave’s fingers closed around air.

“Right. Of course.” Dave moved quickly through the space made. The troll was always doing weird little things like that. He tried to limit his contact with him, but in such a small store (there were only three employees working each shift) it was pretty much impossible. So they just kept a civil relationship. Equius didn’t make any moves to deepen it, and Dave wasn’t giving up his phone number any time soon.

Customer service used to be contained in a big room, but as the store gained more products, it shrunk and shrunk until it was barely more than a little kiosk with an open window cut through the wall. He liked it better this way. It made it harder to find and easier to hide his phone. Dave settled in behind the desk, propping his feet up. He slid in his password and plugged in his headphones, quickly finding the perfect reclining angle.

This was going to be a very long day.

Or at least, it would’ve been if Karkat Vantas hadn’t shown up, with a glare full of annoyance and a stride that was ready to trample the whole store to the ground.

Dave could hear the ringing in his ears already.


	2. In Which Karkat Tells Us What He Wants, What He Really Really Wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starting to get the feeling that i should go rewrite chapter one  
> and the description is a bit lengthy  
> i've got stuff to do and it is actually midnight  
> UGH

“Hey. Bro, there’s something wrong with the stapler.”

Karkat turned in his sleep and pretended not to hear.

“Didn’t even notice until Kailus was all like, ‘dude your staple staple ain’t workin’ ‘ and I was like ‘the motherfucking stapler?’ and he showed me. It’s all like, twisted up and down dude. Don’t even know what all up and happened to it.”

Karkat tried to pull the blanket over his head, but the weight on his chest kept the sheets from budging. He squinted his eyes to look at his moirail. Gamzee’s clown makeup from yesterday still hadn’t worn off (Karkat couldn’t remember why they’d needed that again. Makeovers? A late night living room carnival?). In the early morning light, he could almost pretend the loose grin looked sane. Then again, you had to be insane to smile so early in the morning.

“And we only touched it once last night. Dude, those circus tents were motherfucking off the pies, if you get me. Miracles, brother. Mother-“

“Motherfucking miracles, yeah.” Karkat propped himself up on his elbows and yawned, stretching his toes. So it had been a circus, not a carnival. He didn’t see the difference, but there was no way he was going to tell his moirail that. He reached up to run a hand through Gamzee’s permanent bedhead and smiled back, skritching behind a curved horn.

 It _had_ been a while since Gamzee woke him up, hadn’t it? Most of the time, Karkat woke up to the static fan above the bed or the sound of his alarm clock. He would have to walk over the barely-conscious bodies for a granola bar and dash out to catch whatever class he needed to get to. If he had time, he’d get Gamzee a pillow to rest on.

And not that he hated doing that, but this was nice too.

“So? Getting up anytime soon, brother? If you go any motherfucking slower, the store will be closed when you get there.” Karkat let his hand fall out of his hair, trying not to feel like a cold bucket of ice had been dumped on him.

“What?” he asked, as Gamzee rolled off of the full size mattress. He got up and shook his head, before letting out a little chuckle and offering Karkat a hand.

“Bro, lighten up. Ain’t nothing. I was just chatting all about the stapler.” Right. Karkat was just getting uptight again. When he thought about it, Karkat was lucky he had Gamzee at all. He reminded him when he was acting selfish, where most of trolls (in his books) would’ve left him for someone else. Sure, he paid all of the bills for the apartment, barely had enough time to study with the constant parties, stocked the house with food, and had a second job as his personal cab driver.

But when it came down to it, he’d rather have something than nothing.

Karkat took his hand and pulled himself the rest of the way out of bed. Not as relaxing as sopor, but it would have to do. Gamzee picked up the befallen stapler out of the bedsheets, still smiling but this one was different. Karkat had seen this particular smile a million times, including last night. He sighed as he pulled the towel off the corner of the headboard.

“What did you say was broken?”

“Kailus called it the staple staple.” Kailus, a transspecies fairy who moved into the apartment after his parents found the fake wings in the closet. Karkat actually liked him for the most part. It seemed like the only reason why he was here was because he didn’t want to be on the streets. He did only use Fae speak, which meant he called everything by what you did with it. So books were ‘the read read’ and showers ‘the rinse rinse’.

 It stopped being easy to understand in the first five minutes.

“The stapler’s broken?”

“That’s right, my brother. Think you could honk a brother’s horn and replace it?”

Karkat scratched the back of his neck, looking over his shoulder as the good mood he was in slowly dripped away. His shoulders fell into their usual slump. He remembered what Kanaya said to do in a time like this: decide his wants and his didn’t wants. Then establish them.

He wanted to take a shower and eat breakfast. He wanted to finish him homework for his screenwriting class. He didn’t want to go back to some office store he went to who knows when with ridiculously bright lights and argue with a sales representative until he got what he wanted in fifty minutes instead of five. He didn’t want to leave the house until it was time for class. And what he really wanted, had been wanting for months now, was one day alone with Gamzee. One day without Kailus or PQ or work or school or loud parties that made him want to pull _their_ hair out, not his. Just them.

“Karbro, are your hear ducts doing their job? Kar.” Karkat sighed and took the stapler from Gamzee’s hand.

“Do you even remember the store we got this from?”

“Nope.”

 He was just going to have to wait for the things he really wanted. He could wait. He hated to do it, and would rather take action, but if there was one thing he learned during those awkward high school years, it was that some things (and people) can’t be forced.

“Alright, I’ll go.”

“Knew you’d come to your senses, best pal.”Gamzee laid a smooth palm against Karkat’s cheek. Just like that, Karkat was thrown back to that moment when he woke up and everything was okay.

When Karkat walked past the living room in a white sweatshirt and too-big jeans, PQ called him Grumpy the Snowman.

\--

Who’s this douchebag?

Taller than Karkat, with hair blonde in some lights and white when he leaned out to say, ‘no, we don’t take returns without the receipt’. His expression was a flatline that never jumped except for when he had to speak, and even then, not by much. The red uniform shirt fit him well, even though the cuffs were uneven. And those sunglasses. He wore them like they were supposed to be there, despite the fact they were inside and in the very back of the store.

Karkat couldn’t stand him. He looked around, but there was nobody else.

“Listen up asshole, because I don’t have time to deal with this bullshit anymore. I have class in an hour. I know you can make the switch without a receipt. All you have to do is authorize the exchange on your little computer there, and I can be out of your hair, and you can get back to whatever douchey, brain-cell killing activities you get onto back here.”

“My name’s Dave.”

“Oh wow, really?” Karkat singsonged in a falsetto. “Well, my name is Did You Not Just Fucking Hear What I Said!”

“Hey Did You. Mind if I call you Did You?” Dave leaned back in the chair with his hands interlaced behind his neck. Karkat could barely restrain the urge to jump up and tear out his throat. This was exactly what was trying to avoid.

“Shut the fuck up. Try that, if you can. Listen, I need a brand new stapler and you want to continue wasting your life until you shrivel into dust. Right?”

“Really? How did you know? Damn, are you some sort of fortune teller, cause I’ve always wanted to shrivel into dust. Since I was a little kid and my Bro abandoned me at the gravel mines-“

“Oh my Mother Grub. Do you guys even have staplers?”

“Aisle 3. You’d  have to pay for those ones though.”

No, forget tearing out his throat. Karkat wanted to bash his head against the shitty computer until the battle of the hardest head was won.

“Does something seem to be the problem, valued customer?” Karkat looked up at the indigo troll approaching. He was wiping away his stained hands with a towel that seemed pretty random for an office supplies store.

“If by something you mean you shitty excuse for an employee and by problem you mean a waste of oxygen that barely has enough brain cells to make toast, never mind actually doing its job, then yeah.” Karkat knew they wouldn’t take the stapler back if they saw how mangled it was, so he wrapped it up in tissue paper and squeezed it into a cardboard delivery box. He handed it to the other troll, whose hands were a frightening shade of blue.

“Hey, my toast is bae.”

“Again, was anyone in this entire store talking to you?”

“Equius are you just gonna let him get away with this?”

The troll- Equius, Karkat supposed- ignored Dave, examining the box on all sides. He started to peel away the tape on the edges of the box.

“Wait, stop! It’s um, it’ll shoot staples at you! If you open that box, the thing will snap open and spit out metal faster than a machine gun!” Karkat shouted; the volume of his voice grating on his larynx.  He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to yell. Well, he yelled all the time, but not like this. He stood up straighter and let his chest swell with air.

Finally, some _progress_.

Equius shifted his weight and rolled his shoulders. “Well. That is. Alright. We’ll just have to take your word for it. What brand does this stapler belong to?”

Dave shook the computer awake and started clicking away. And other than a soft tap by his pinky finger, he said absolutely nothing. It was music to Karkat’s ears.  

“Enoff. It’s orange, with an easy-push function.” Equius nodded and pulled a stock checker out of his back pocket. Everything was calm for a couple moments. Karkat shoved his hands into the sweatshirt’s pocket and pulled at a loose thread. Dave had stopped clicking and had returned to leaning back into the chair. A secretary came up to them and asked for the way to the paper section, and Dave told her the aisle. And then the troll froze.

Sweat beads formed on his forehead and he reached up to wipe them off efficiently, like he’d done it a million times before. Dave stood up and walked off, before returning with a fresh towel. He motioned for Karkat to step aside before throwing it at Equius. The troll caught it in one hand and kept wiping.

“Uh. I’m afraid your item is out of stock. You’ll have to return at a later moment in time.”

Karkat’s veins turned to ice. He could see Gamzee’s disappointed face already. “No, no. I need to get that stapler today. What if I just get a different type that’s the same price?”

Equius shook his head. “Can’t. The exchange has to be exact. You’ll just have to come back on Wednsday when we get new stock. Um. If you’ll excuse me.” And still wiping, he opened the employee-only door and walked away. He took the stapler with him. Karkat got the urge to follow him before the door closed and argue until he got the stapler or got thrown up. But when it did, he was still standing there, looking forward.

“So I guess I’ll see you Wednesday. Maybe you’ll be a lot less pissy and a little more chill.” That was Dave, and he was smiling. Not in that goofy, obvious way but subtle. If he was pixilated, the smile would only be one pixel out of the bunch. But it was still there.

 Karkat had to admit, it did look nice on him. And if he had to choose between a festering pile of garbage and Dave, he guessed he was say Dave came out first in looks. Not that he’d ever say that to him. He was still a douche.

“Unfortunately, I’m going to have to meet you again, as if once wasn’t enough. And if by pissy, you mean righteously upset then no, I doubt I’ll change.” His smile grew.

“And your name? For the form.”

“Karkat Vantas.” He moved to look over the desk to see what Dave was typing. “Those are k’s, not c’s. And Vantas with one s, why the hell would I have a fucking curse word in my last name.”

“Dude, it’s your life.” He actually could not believe the stuff that came out of this guy’s mouth. Honestly, they let shit like this work the counter but Gamzee couldn’t even wipe down the windows. Karkat double-checked the form before taking two steps back. Dave saluted him, and that was when he turned and stormed out of the store. He had one object less than he was going in. That was how they got you.

His car was a small black junker from the late 80’s. When his dad had it, it was a smooth running ride that rarely ever acted its age. His dad built it up from barely running to hitting 70 mph on the highway (that was a great day. They all went out for ice cream including Kankri, who had been forced to sleep over in a half-bake “bonding” experiment. Somehow, Kankri ended up falling and dropping his cone. So like Karkat said, a great day) It went through a car wash every single week, and whenever it did so much as sputter he was under the hood, checking the engine. Let’s just say that Karkat hadn’t been so careful.

He slid the key in and twisted left, and then sharply to the right. The car groaned as he slid in, and Karkat’s hand automatically reached to shut off the radio before it could begin. He turned on the engine and pulled out his phone.

Going back home was a mixed bag. On one hand, he could get a blissed out Gamzee, who is suddenly just happy that he’s home and wants to fingerpaint the walls together or something. The other hand, which was more likely, was that his eyes would go straight to his hands. Karkat would futily try to explain the circumstances, but all Gamzee would hear was that he had gone out with something and come back with nothing. And all of their fights were the silent type, the kind where Gamzee would just get up and walk away. Every time Karkat tried to talk to him he would just act as if he wasn’t there.

There would be times where he would wake up in the middle of the night, the knowledge that something was wrong between them a sharp dagger in his chest. It hurt. And if he ached, who knew what Gamzee was going through? (A small voice in his head whispered nothing, but Karkat squished it with a firm heel).

CG: ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

GA: I Happen To Be Getting Out Of The Shower

CG: GREAT. LET’S MEET UP AT THE STARBUCKS ON UNIVERSITY. I’LL PAY SO DON’T WORRY ABOUT CASH.

GA: Is There Something Wrong

CG: WHAT’S WRONG WITH TWO FRIENDS GOING OUT TO GET SOME EARLY MORNING COFFEE?

GA: Nothing

GA: I’ll Be There

CG:  GREAT. I’LL BE AT OUR USUAL SPOT IN THE BACK IF SOME SNOBBY ERIDANS HAVEN’T TAKEN IT ALREADY. I SWEAR THOSE ASSHOLES DON’T EVEN TOUCH THE COFFEE.

GA: Don’t Call Them That

GA: At Least Wait Until Eridan’s Around To Hear It     

GA: This Isn’t About Gamzee Is It

Karkat hesitated.

CG: NO.


	3. In Which Karkat and Kanaya Are Ousted From Starbucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is suuuper late bc i have had like no time to finish this because it was saved onto the computer and somebody else had been using it and long story short it's now on my usb to avoid these problems  
> 

High school was sort of a strange thing for Karkat. Sure, it was a strange thing for everyone, but especially for him. He’d moved into New Skaia in the middle of sophomore year, going from a private school in the hills to a public school in the city. Most of the kids there had known each other since kindergarten. And when Karkat stepped into school the first day, he could tell that there was no way he was getting in between them.

For a few seconds, he was the cool kid at school. People smiled when he walked in the door. A group of seniors let him sit at their table for lunch, trading sandwiches for cigarettes and mysteriously-tinged bags of sopor (That was where he met Gamzee, a junior tall enough to pass for eighteen.)His teachers gave forgiveness assignments to make up for the missing grades. Karkat seriously thought for a moment that everything might be okay.

But then second quarter rolled around, and the seniors got their off-campus permits. Everyone was used to his black sweaters and grouchy expressions. Teachers expected him to be more than on par with the rest of the class, and every new doctor’s note made their face grimace and scowl.

Karkat did make a few friends. Four, to be exact.

Kanaya, who had approached him in their English class for a pen and some paper because someone mistook her bag for another’s and long story short, threw it in a lake. Eridan had been crying on the back stairs afterschool and Karkat had lent a shoulder, which soon led to becoming his life consultant on everything from relationships to ‘what tie goes best with this jacket’.

Gamzee hadn’t been approved for the permit after five consecutive and quite frightening failed drug tests, so he was stuck at the lunch table with Karkat. He didn’t want to say it was pity at first sight. After all, he’d seen the guy tons of times before. But when it was only them, he’d pay attention to him. He could concentrate on each individual curl of his bedhead, hear the way his voice seemed to fluctuate with each word. The violet galaxies in his eyes.

Terezi he’d always known. At first through awkward playdates set up at an orphanage to get him talking to people. Then the internet reconnected them, once he’d moved another two times. She’d been adopted, his case was still as hopeless as before. But somehow, they were still friends.

CG: SO YOU’RE GONNA BE A GREAT BIG FANCY NEW SKAIA GIRL?

GC: 4ND YOU’R3 4 SL1CK 4ND S4VORY COUNTRY BUMPK1N >;]

GC: T34CH M3 HOW TO SHUCK CORN F4RM3R BOY

CG: WHAT THE FUCK WE DON’T EVEN OWN A FARM.

GC: NOT Y3T YOU DON’T

And if she said, “hey, wanna be more than friends?” Karkat would gladly take her up on that offer. But she never did, and he never tried. But he was okay with that. Really.

It was that guy’s face that had made him remember all of this. Now, driving down to meet Kanaya, it was starting to seem familiar. Something about that shade of hair and the way it didn’t seem human at times. Or the pretentious sunglasses he’d worn throughout the entire conversation. It reminded him of high school. No, about a kid in high school, maybe.

Only that kid had no sunglasses and an army of friends, so maybe not.

Kanaya wasn’t there yet, so he checked that the small booth nestled in the back of the restaurant was still empty and got into line. He palmed his pocket for his wallet and leafed through the bills, sighing. He was sure he had at least a few more bills in there. Gas prices were going up again and college, even with only one class to buy textbooks for, was pricey. In the end, he had to count out change in order to pay the two cups off. When he walked back to the table, Kanaya was already there. She looked up when he approached.

“Karkat. How are you?”

“Fine . College has been taking up a fuckload of my time, so I can’t make it to any of your fancy dinner parties. I’m sure they’re tons of fun, though. Rose breaks out her best wine?” He slid into the seat across from her, sliding the iced coffee over to her. She looked perfect, as usual. Her outfit this time was a green double-breasted waistcoat that accented her ruffles blouse and sleek pinstriped pants. Of course, her signature shade of black and green lipstick lay smeared across her lips.

But Karkat knew that she wasn’t just the fashion-forward business mogul the Eridans in the next table were drooling over. She was his best friend.

And right now, she looked like she had walked into their laundry room without a noseplug.

“No, I make sure it’s either grape juice or water.” Karkat winced. Damn, he forgot about Rose’s AA badge. It was still thinking about the last time he went to at Rose’s castle of a house, which was about two years ago, maybe more. Karkat took a long sip of the hot coffee, savoring the pumpkin-flavored tang. What? He couldn’t help it if a good drink happened to be consumed by annoying people. And that the same good drink was widely advertised once fall rolled around.

Fuck you, pumpkin spice lattes are awesome.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about all of that. How’s progress going?”

Kanaya nodded as she tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “Surprisingly well. I mean, we don’t argue about it anymore and on occasion the door to the wine cellar is mysteriously open.” Her fingers tapped against the side of the coffee cup, a nervous tick so familiar to him he felt his heart skip a beat. “But we’re down to one drink a week.”

“Shit, that’s great!”It _was_ great. According to what (Kanaya said) she was like before, it was a huge jump. He had to come over and visit when he had the chance.

A guy in a polo shirt and a laptop bag suddenly appeared at their table, eyebrows furrowed. Karkat looked at Kanaya to see if she recognized him, but she was as confused as he was.

“Would you mind keeping the foul language down? I’m trying to work.” He said the clipped words with confidence, and didn’t bother hiding his glare from Karkat. He couldn’t believe the guy. Who did he think he was? Seriously, assholes were falling out of the sky today. Well, it was too bad for him. Karkat had more than enough repressed anger to go around.

“Piss off, you nooklicking fucktard, I’m trying to have a conversation with my friend here.” The man’s jaw dropped, like he’d never been spoken to like that before. but quickly recovered enough to clench his jaw and lower his eyebrows.

“Karkat.”

“Hey, if you don’t like the words I so happen to use, then leave. There’s an empty seat over there, out there, and an extra toasty one waiting in hell just for you.”

“Karkat.”

A worker with two antelope horns looked over at them from the counter, in the middle of wiping an equipment part. She looked between the two guys before crossing her arms and eyeing Karkat. Her double pupil eyes mean business.

Karkat snorts, loud enough to draw her full attention and turn a few more heads.

“Before you ask, no there’s not a problem. Why would there be a problem? I’m sure you get assholes like this all the time. Shit, I had to deal with one this morning.” A woman closes her hands over her kid’s ears and frowns at him. But to be perfectly honest, Karkat couldn’t be bothered to care. He would take on everybody in the shop if he had to. He clenched his hands into fists as they started to grow warm.

“Karkat!” The Eridans jumped.

“Yes Kanaya? Yes, my dearest, bestest friend?” She narrowed her eyes at his sarcasm and Karkat looked away. He shouldn’t be yelling at her. After all, she came to see him. They were on the side. Unlike this fucker, who was still standing at their table edge. His hands were on his hips now, like some superhero who had given up the job for stocks and bitcoins but still felt the urge to annoy people whenever he had free time.

“There are going to kick us out at this rate.” As if to punctuate her point, the employee put down the blender blade and started walking towards them.

“Sure! You know what, go right ahead. This coffee was way too expensive anyways.”And with that, he stood up, grabbed his coffee and smashed it against the floor. The splash managed to get everyone’s shoes and the bottom of Kanaya’s pants. The guy backed up groaning and she shot up like a rocket, but Karkat could only stare.

He wasn’t _that_ mad, was he? No, he wasn’t, because his hands were unclenched and no matter how much the employee yelled, he didn’t feel like spitting anything back. Upset? A little, but that wasn’t it. Karkat was still wondering the answer while Kanaya dragged him outside. They took refuge a couple feet down the road against an abandoned donut shop.

“At least the expulsion is only temporary.” She sighed, taking a forlorn sip from her cup.

Maybe it was some weird new side effect of the medicine. Warning: Intake may warrant unexpected mood swings of the teeter-totter variety. Stay away from coffee shops and watch for douchebags.

Kanaya tilted her head to look at him. “Are you alright?”He was not alright. In fact, Karkat hadn’t been alright for a long time. He’d been content, sure. It was easy to be content when you felt deserved everything that happened to you.

But that was the sort of thing that got people worried, so he shrugged.

“This is about Gamzee, isn’t it.”

“You know, not everything is about Gamzee. I’m the one who keeps messing up.” She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms in a manner that said he was about to get start something. He looked away, out to the traffic in the streets and on the sidewalks.

“I’m positive you didn’t do anything wrong-“

“Fuck, I’m always doing something wrong. It’s like everyday I’ve got to meet some ridiculously high quota for the number of fuckups I make, and everytime I wake up it gets higher and higher because when I was a baby my fairy godmother tried to make me useful for once and the spell backfired like nobody’s fucking business.” He was ranting now, spitting the metaphor without having to think.

Tired. That’s what he was. So, so tired.

“What are you talking about?” Karkat gave her a tight-lipped smile and shoved his hands in his pocket. Maybe if he looked alright, then she would assume he was alright and they could go their separate ways. He had her phone number, he could ask her more about the Rose stuff later. Or about her life in general.

It really had been a long time.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Kanaya frowned and he held his arms up in a defensive position.”I’m serious! No bullshittery here. You can stop getting ready to call 258 and tell the police to stand down, I’ll drop my weapons of self destruction if you stop nagging me.” She stopped frowning, but kept her arms crossed. Well, he tried.

His sweatshirt pocket was vibrating. Wait, no, his phone was vibrating. An honest mistake, considering the types of clothing he’d picked up from the thrift shop. Deep in his closet, where horror movie stars and monsters dwelled, there were a pair of Hello Kitty shoes that softly mewed every time you took a step. He was broke and desperate. He wore them for months.

“Hold on, someone texted me.” Kanaya nodded, not trying to hide her curiosity at the text. And in the next second, Karkat was glad he’d angled himself so that she couldn’t.

TC: WhErE ArE yOu

“Uh.” And then another one.

TC: HoW LoNg aRe yOu gOiNg tO TaKe tO GeT BaCk mOtHeRfUcKeR :o)

“What is it?” She said, even more curious than before. He knew she meant well, but these were the sort of things he had to deal with himself. Because no else seemed to really understand what he’d gotten himself into.

“It’s Gamzee. I gotta go.” He mumbled, while typing in a quick reply.

CG: I WAS WITH KANAYA. I’M COMING BACK RIGHT NOW.

TC: DiDn't wE AgReE ThAt wE WeReN'T GoInG To hAnG OuT WiTh tHaT SiStEr aNy mOrE

“Do you really have to go? We barely talked.” He knows. And Karkat wished it could be different. He patted her on the shoulder and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it came out tight again.

“It was nice talking to you in person for once. Sorry about getting us kicked out.”

Kanaya shook her head, watching him as he slowly took more and more steps away. “Suspended, not kicked out. We can come back in two weeks.”

“See you then.”

* * *

 

His homecoming was a lot less dramatic than he thought it would be. Gamzee was by the sink with PQ, squirting purple food dye into the milk carton the water was collecting in. Karkat closed the door and locked it behind him. And it’s not until he’s almost in his bedroom that PQ notices him. He stamps his left hoof against the tile (effectively cracking it even more) and that’s when Gamzee sees Karkat. He freezes.

“Did you get the stapler?”

“They were all out. I’m going back Wednesday.”

“And Kanaya? What was that all about?”

“We ran into each other. I didn’t stay long.” The lie turned his chest to flames and ice at the same time. He couldn’t breathe. Gamzee kept staring, until suddenly his mouth split into a grin and he turned back to his task. He started humming a tune he hummed often, but Karkat didn’t know the name of it. He just knew that it meant that he was safe.

He walked into the room, relieved until he saw the mountain of coursework on his desk. It was starting to feel like he just went to class to get more to add to the pile. And then there were those makeup quizzes he still had to take. Not to mention midterms were coming up in a month or so. Karkat sighed, settling into the one chair they had with four legs. Time to get to work.

“Karkat!” That was Kailus, probably waking up from a mid-afternoon nap.

Karkat sharpened his pencil. They could do without him for a couple of hours. Just enough time to get this essay on the book-to-movie ratio done. Or study a little. Just enough to raise his GPA from a 2.3.

“Crabsnack, you in there? We need a ride. Molly’s throwing a thrasher over at Sims Bay. West Alt, too expensive for a taxi, you know?” And that was PQ, short for Party Queen (‘remember Elizabeth and Victoria, haters’). It was also short for Pitternalius Quell, son to a Dane and Sally who wanted to explore their roots, starting with their son.

He’d only moved in about four days ago, and Karkat doubted he’d stay long. Somehow, his apartment had turned into a homeless shelter for lost and abandoned people whom society had given up on. Gamzee had even brought a kid back once, coughing and cold from the rain. When they woke up the next morning, the toaster and the coffeemaker were gone. Oh, and the kid.

“Karkat. You okay?” Gamzee. Karkat dropped his pencil and looked at the doorway, where he was already standing. No, standing would be too strict of a word. He was leaning against the door frame, with his eyes pinned on his moirail.

“I’m…” Busy. Not in the mood. About to fail college and ruin my dreams.

“I’m fine. What’s up?”

Gamzee’s eyes light up and Karkat is pretty sure he can hear his heart swell at the same time. “Man, we got a bunch of glitter water for Molly’s party. It’s all purple and fucking shiny, and we’re going to get some spritz bottles and spray everywhere. Gonna make the place look like motherfucking miracles. They even got a DJ, so the place is gonna sound like motherfucking miracles. One problem though.” He says, and his voice falls at the end.

“What?” Although they’ve had this conversation enough times that Karkat already knows what he’s going to say.

“We don’t have a ride.” They never do.

When he doesn’t say anything, Gamzee walks closer and kneels down until his face is only a breath away from Karkat’s. He can see the remnants of clown makeup around his eyes, smell the odor of burnt food mysteriously stuck to his clothes.

Fuck, he’s going to break.

“Please take us to the party.”

It was the please that ended it. Karkat sighed and let his shoulders drop, which Gamzee must’ve taken for a yes, because he kissed his cheek and ran out to tell the others.But Karkat could barely notice because he was still, he kissed- Karkat brought his hand up to the spot, gently of course. He couldn’t even remember the last time they’d, maybe this was a sign? Maybe he might stop with partying, drugs, and friends, and get a job? Share a room instead of sleeping out in the living room?

And he knew hoping was improbable and inane but it was so _addictive_.

* * *

 

They left once the moons had come out and all good trolls had gone to bed.

Karkat had managed ¾ of an essay, and a couple of powerpoints the professor had put up on a website, but it wasn’t nearly enough to catch up with the class. He tumbled into the driver’s seat, already half-asleep. The rest of them piled into the back seat, and the garbage bag was thrown into the trunk.

West New Skaia was the part of the city closer to the mountains, so after the riverside buildings came large homes on hills and small suburbs nestled in between. It was quieter with long patches of forest and the Windy River coiling back on itself to rest in a lake somewhere. Karkat didn’t know; he hadn’t lived here long enough to know everything.

Molly’s house was in the suburbs; a small two-story house with just enough space to stand against the rest. They knew it was hers because unlike the boring beige buildings beside it, Molly’s were neon green with yellow foot-long spikes in the front yard. The mailbox was a giant mouth, complete with braces for a handle. And Molly herself was in the front yard, waving on top of six-inch (at the very least) disco heels that lit up the grass around it. Karkat could already hear the music.

“Did you bring the glitter water?” She whispered as soon as Gamzee got close, and PQ lifted up the garbage bag they’d filled with tons of dollar store spritzers. Kailus was already playing with one, spraying straight up into the air and letting it fall in a mist over everybody. This was the exact reason why Karkat had brought an umbrella.

He was still tired, but they needed a ride home as well, and it would be easier just stay with them then get the inevitable text at 2 am asking to get picked all the way over there.

Together, after they made their way through the obstacle course that was her front lawn, they entered the party. It was pretty uneventful as parties go. People were dancing in the living room and sitting on top of the dining room table. Some idiot had gotten the bright idea to get a lampshade and go around having normal conversations as if he wasn’t drunk off his ass. A couple was making out on the couch. Karkat’d been dragged to worse.

Of course, the party livened up when Gamzee revealed the special surprise. And by livened up, he meant turned into chaos. The bag was empty in half a second, and suddenly the whole place was soaking wet. Karkat opened up the umbrella, ducking surprise sprays in the face as he looked for the kitchen. That tended to be the safest place in parties like this.

“Karkat! Over here!” He turned towards the voice, where a girl with a blue cat hood and an oversized green jacket waved him over from behind a white door. Finally, some rational thought. He looked left and right before ducking and rolling into the door, closing it sharply behind him. He could still hear the splashes against the door and laughter, but not as loudly.

Nepeta lived out here with her grandmother, but that didn’t mean she didn’t sneak out all the time. Karkat didn’t even know why she bothered, since she spent most of her time in the kitchen eating all of the host’s snacks. Even now, Oreo wrappers littered the wooden floor.

“Want one?” He shook his head and watched as she bit the cookie he offered in half. She wasn’t a bad person. He wondered what she was like when she wasn’t at a party.

 Karkat sighed and leaned back against the counter. There was no way this party was going to end anytime soon. Maybe before it would’ve ended at midnight, but with the introduction of glitter water, who knew when this shit would end. At least the music was good, he thought.  And Nepeta was good company.

That was the only consolation he had for the next five hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw my tumblr's here: spooky-gator.tumblr.com


	4. In Which Dave Shows Off His Better Side

The store was in one of its usual afternoon lulls, and Dave was barely standing on his feet. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating a little bit. And the whole incubus thing tended to take an edge of the sleep deprivation. But damn, he only got what? An hour of sleep? And then he had to pull himself together into the fine mess that was Dave Strider, emphasis on _fine_.

He was working a job at some place in West New Skaia, for a girl who was the friend of a cousin of a neighbor of this guy he’d stopped talking to once he left high school. Dave raked a hand through his hair as another customer pulled up to the desk with a basket full of notebooks. He should’ve known from the pay. Nobody charges some two-bit DJ $2,000 for “a little get-together”. There must’ve been a dollar for each person that was there.

All of the good part-time slots were taken, and even the shady clubs wanted a good resume before they’d even think about it. These little gigs were the only chances he had to really show off his skills. To get a little taste of what it would be like if he did this every night, instead of scanning and logging the day away.

“Reciept?” He asked, and the lady rummaged through the bag until she pulled out the small white slip. Dave scanned the barcode and held back a yawn.

“What are you returning?”

“The blue and yellow ones,” she said, pulling out the notebooks in question. “I bought them yesterday, and I haven’t written in them yet so…” Dave tuned out of the conversation as he went down the receipt line with a black pen, lost in thought.

The guy was there too. What was his name again? Right, Karkat. While the speakers were playing a 60-minute mix he’d put together, he’d gone wandering around the party for a bit. It reminded a little of a high school party, only now the drinks were legal and nobody giggled if you went upstairs with a girl. He was nursing a bottle of some out of state (out of country? the words were not definitely not English) beer when a bunch of new guys joined the party. One of the trolls was lugging a large garbage bag. That bag turned out to hold a good hundred water spritzers. He had to race back to the DJ stand to throw bags over the speakers, and even then, his laptop had been glitching up since then. Dave ended up switching to his emergency iPod before the party was over.

He found the notebooks on the receipt and crossed them out. The register calculated their price to be $15.60, before spitting out the money tray. He counted out one ten and five, before grabbing enough coins to finish it off.

“Thanks for shopping at OfficeMan, come back again.” Dave handed back the money and let loose a smile, because why not she was a nice customer. He was about to sit down again when he noticed somebody else in line.

“Next!” Oh wait. That wasn’t a customer, that was his _boss_. He could tell as soon as he started walking closer. His boss was sort of nondescript, except for his fedora and the large nose that seemed to take up most of his face. He wore a white collar shirt with a black tie and white slacks, and that was pretty much it. No, wait. Sometimes, when Dave went on break, he could see him smoking his pipe outside.

That was pretty much it.

“Hi Mr. Egbert. Just business as usual, as you can see. Helping the customers, taking the receipts, and exchanging the products. Hard work, but someone’s gotta keep corporate America on its feet.” Dave saluted the older Egbert and he simply nodded.

The first thing he’d done after high school was move out of Bro’s apartment. The whole ordeal (which included apartment searching, several cashed-in favors to people who owned trucks, and the down payment) left no money or time for college. John had been nice enough to get him a job at his dad’s franchise. Dave never found a reason to leave, so he didn’t.

“Hello Dave. I’m here to talk about your work performance.” Dave slipped his phone back into his jacket pocket. Okay, shit just got serious.

“What about it? Is there something wrong?” The older Egbert shook his head.

“No, of course not. You’ve been one of our most valuable workers here. I’ve actually come to commend your work. There’s a higher position about to open up in the corporate side of OfficeMan. I’m happy where I am, but I understand that you would appreciate the higher income?”

“What’s the income?”

“About 45,000 a year, not including bonuses.” Dave let out a whistle. That was a lot more than he was making now. Enough to start buying more than what he needed to survive. He could get a couch with that type of money. Or a bed.

A full-time job also meant that he’d be hard –pressed he wanted to keep up DJing, if he could even do it at all. When he mixed, he needed time. The feeling had to be right. He’d couldn’t just come home, drop his briefcase, and get jiggy with it.

“It’d certainly be a step up. But it’s your decision.”

“I’ll think about it.” Dave sighed. Why did the world have to toss a double-sided coin every single time? How about a straightforward situation for once, like ‘Why yes, I sure would love to be OfficeMan’s new personal DJ! How’d you guess?’

Mr. Egbert smiled and nodded. “If you’re interested, please contact me. Keep up the good work.”

\- - -

it was September’s second Tuesday, so he got out of work early. this was because second Tuesdays were fire alarm testing days (‘fire safety is important to everybody’ said some chump in an executive chair) so the 8:30 to 5 staff got to leave an hour early while they set off the fire alarms ad counted the response time. he could still hear the first set of ringing while he made his way to the bus stop.

He didn’t know what he was going to do. Working there had started for money, but it was more than that now. It was a way to feel normal. For a few hours, he could be just another forgettable face in the crowd. Well, he corrected as he adjusted his glasses, not that forgettable. That was pretty much impossible.

But he felt human. And he took this job, he’d get to feel like that even more than he does now.

On the other hand, he moved out not because of Bro, but because he wanted to become a DJ. All of nights eating ramen (wait he was still doing that), pennypinching in order to make ends meet, and skipping out on parties so he could work at other people’s parties- it’ll all be for nothing if he took it.

Then again, he could get a bed.

Dave slumped as he sat down on the curb by the bus stop. Life was complicated.

“How the hell did I run into you again?” He looked up. Karkat was looking down at him, his frown on the verge of turning into a snarl. Of course, just the person he didn’t want to see.

It’s not like he didn’t recognize him. They’d gone to the same high school, after all. That was before Rachel had taught him a lesson about mixed incubi and he still went to school without shades. He’d learned after the first round of bullying that wearing shades everywhere was not cool at all. So he’d leave the apartment with those pointy blades of death tacked happily to his face and slide them into his backpack when he got on the bus.

Everyone thought his red eyes were awesome, Dave didn’t get bullied anymore, and Bro was never the wiser. Good for everyone right?

Only not, because that was when he started to split. The mermaids, satyrs, and trolls weren’t impressed by his red eyes. They wanted to hear what he had to say and what he could do. That was where his incubus side thrived. There were points where he had three different girlfriends and no idea where he’d gotten any of them. Bro had only winked and  left Lil Cal on the counter, wearing a ‘Love Doctor’ shirt.

The humans didn’t care about his ideas. They wanted to see him flash his eyes and hypnotize the teacher. They invited him to their parties for the sole purpose of Truth or Dare. Whenever the tricks got old, somebody did a little research and found something else he could theoretically do.

Mmm. Maybe that was pushing it. John was his best friend, and most of his doofusness was purely accidental. The same went for Jade.

So yeah, Dave knew Karkat. He wasn’t part of the main troll group. Instead, he befriended a few of them and kept to himself. It wasn’t until MegaSleepoverpalooza that he really got involved with the full group of friends.

“Well, we both have magnetic personalities. Maybe you’re attracted to me.” Karkat wrinkled his nose.

“Please, I’ve heard better stuff  in a romcom. Hey, I’ve got an idea. How about we pretend we never saw each other?” His hands were getting sweaty. Weird.

“You were the one who started the conversation.” Okay, now he was getting hot. Hot enough to stand up and pull his shirt to get some air flowing. The heat was coming from under his skin, traveling along his veins and pumping fiercely in his chest. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, just- what was there to Flip over?

Definitely not this scrawny little troll. He could barely carry the supermarket bags he was holding. His hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in ages. His face was in a permanent scowl every time he saw him. And most importantly, he didn’t even like Dave. So what was the point?

 “Yeah, and now I’m ending it. Good bye and good riddance.” Before he knew it, Dave was following Karkat as he walked down the street. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked over the troll’s shoulder.

“So what’s up?”

“Why the fuck are you following me?”

“Free country man. Thought we’d catch up. You want me to hold one of those for you?” He pulled the bags sharply out of Dave’s reach.

“I’m fine. And I don’t know how you expect to ‘catch up’ when I don’t know you.”

“Sure you do. High school. You hung out with Kan, and Kan was with Rose, and Rose is my sister.”

“You’re Dave Lalonde.” Dave held back a sigh. Why didn’t anyone ever think it was the other way around. Maybe she was Rose Strider. He imagined her with heart shaped shades, hair cut and shaped into the signature point, and a wicked katana transcribed with all of old man Freud’s quotes.

Nope. No way. There were some things that just didn’t need to be imagined.

“No, Dave Strider. When they signed us up for school, my aunt put down her last name and Bro put his.”

Karkat stopped and faced him. “So what’s your real last name?”

Dave rubbed his arm and looked away. “Okay that doesn’t really matter. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Sure. Did you get your new shipment in yet?”

They stopped at a boxy black car that looked like it was in the wrong decade. Karkat fiddled with the lock for the driver’s seat before sliding inside. The bags were tossed haphazardly into the back seat.

“Nope. Not Wednesday yet.”

“Right. Well, bye.”

“Hold on.” What was he still doing here? If he turned around now, maybe he could still catch the bus and go home. “Seriously, let’s catch up later.”

“No thanks. I try to keep my intake of stupidity low so I don’t collapse from an overdose of bullshittery.” Karkat looked down at his buzzing phone as he pulled on his seatbeat. Dave could’ve sworn he heard him say ‘speak of the devil’, but Karkat probably wasn’t referring to him. Probably.

He breathed out heavily through his nose as he turned on the engine, which sputtered and hissed before kicking into a warm thrum. “Listen, I’ve got somewhere to be so I don’t have time for this-“

“Cool, so do I. So take my phone number and we can plan something out.” He wasn’t in control of this situation anymore. Or at least, not the human him. Whenever he made eye contact with Karkat, he felt this sharp zap jolt from his toes to his hands to his head. The heat had slowly increased, to the point where he was pretty sure his skin felt boiling hot. Dave felt his lips spreading into an easy smile.

The incubus was out.

Wait, no. Normally, when he Flipped, he turned into an entirely different person, one with a permanent flirty glare and a naturally charismatic voice that could sell ice to an Eskimo. His human side was left to watch the destruction he caused or blacked out.

But this time, when he was about grab the door handle and jump in, Dave kept himself still. He pulled one of the cards in his wallet and wrote his phone number on it. Dave passed it along through the window, with Karkat looking seconds away from putting the pedal to the metal.

“Thanks for the wonderful night?” Dave laughed, a confident one that surprised the both of them. He tilted his head down, so that he could make direct eye contact with Karkat.

“Ignore that. Text me some time. I’ll make sure it’s worth your while.” The troll was still staring. Dave took a few steps back, pushing his shades into place. He watched as the black car spat one last time before speeding off to join traffic.

This was how all of his relationships started. His incubus side took an interest in someone, they took an interest in him, and they lasted until it got bored or found somebody else. It got him playing in a few clubs in the beginning, but after his reputation got around, it was dive bars and now a few private parties.

Dave held the back of his hand to his cooling skin. This had been different. He’d had, as small as it was, some control.

He pulled his iPhone out of his pocket, getting ready to make a call. Maybe she would know about this. After all, she was a fully recognized succubus already.

“Rose.”

“Yes, my beloved brother?” She said, her voice smooth as satin.

“We need to talk. Also, I need a ride home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't get time to edit this as much as i wanted, so please tell me if there's any mistakes  
> you guys are all much appreciated :*


	5. In Which Karkat Makes Friends With A Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up with these titles has to be the hardest part of the gig  
> second-hardest is finding time to write  
> 

That was weird. That, Karkat reflected as he let a driver who narrowly missed smashing into his left side know exactly what he thought of them, was weird.

First of all, Dave. As in, ‘the guy who had the entire school eating out of his hands’ Dave. The one who’d managed to get half the senior class to ditch prom and go to his house party (at Rose’s house) instead. He remembered those red eyes from the back row of buses, classes, and English class. And winking at random people in the hallways, sometimes him.

Karkat tried to feel justified by the fact the slacking popular kid had gotten what he deserved: a life of retail and half-priced office chairs. But it just made him sigh.

It was weird, to think he’d run into him again. Karkat hadn’t really seen any of the people from high school lately. It was mostly meeting up with Kan at Starbucks or sometimes, the apartment. It depended on who was there and whether he expected her purse to get stolen.  Sometimes Sollux came upstate from Lobaf and they went to an arcade and didn’t leave until they ran out of money. Or Terezi stopped by on her round-the-world-or-at-least-Hussia tour and they just chilled.

Dave had said he wanted to “catch up”. What was that supposed to mean?

Karkat sped through an intersection, just before the light turned red. Normally, he would’ve waited for the light to turn, but he was a little more than a hurry. He’d been on his way to his appointment when Gamzee alerted him to the fact that they needed milk.

Karkat had said, “But we already have milk.”

To which Gamzee countered, “We gonna need a lot more milk that that, palebro.”

“What? Why?”

“We also need sugar. And some bitchin purple food coloring. Motherfucker, I’m going to make a motherfucking cake :o)”

Which started a loud argument about the money situation, and then jobs, and then each other, which led to Kailus letting out a high-pitched distress shriek and PQ hammering the hell out of the floor, until Karkat had gotten fed up with it all and hung up.

The guilt was drilling a hole in his stomach, one that even buying the stupid food coloring hadn’t helped.

He scanned his hospital ID at the machine blocking off the college’s long-term patient parking lot. Once the bar had gone up, he slid into the first available spot. It was a bit far from the building, but he’d walk fast. He didn’t have time to start looking for a parking space. Karkat jumped out and started walking towards the domed entrance.

He was five, six minutes late? Not that bad, the doctor would forgive him if he apologized. She was such a stickler for manners. Really, anything with set restrictions and laws. Things that refused to follow any sort of rule both aggravated and intrigued her. It was probably why she stuck with him.

Karkat approached the front desk where a fully built nurse lounging against the files and a blonde one by the computer were laughing out loud. Meanwhile, the others in the waiting room echoed their various moans and sneezes. He’d gotten used to the shots and pills and measurements, but he’d never get over the waiting room. The air of dread put all of his hairs on end.

“Natasha.” The sound of her name caused the blonde to swivel in her chair. He swore he could see the mischievousness in her eyes grow.

“Karkat! And what can I do for you this afternoon?”

“Buzz me through. I’m already late for my appointment with Dr. Dante. You know how she hates latecomers.” The nurse hummed and picked up the phone. She slowly drew her finger down a list of extensions, mock-frowned, and then started again.

“Give me a second; I can’t seem to find her number to check you in…how unfortunate…”

“What the nubdrumming hell, Nat! In case you forgot, the button to buzz me in is right over there. A little to your left, yeah, that one.”

“Let a patient in without checking if the doctor is free first? Now that’s just not right. Right, Kevin.” The guy at the back nodded, a smirk spreading across his face. Honestly, fuck Kevin. If Kevin didn’t happen to sneak in glazed donuts to the patients, Karkat would make his personal mission to make sure Kevin was fired. Point one: all he does is stand around and crack jokes.

Anyone could do that. He could do it. Hell, _Dave_ could do it, and better than Kevin did too.

Not that he thought Dave was funny or anything.

“Fuck Kevin.”

“Damn, someone didn’t get their naptime.” He says, right when Natasha gasps out “Mind the language! There are kids here! Seriously.” She presses one manicured finger against the button, and the door audibly buzzes, signifying that it’s unlocked. Karkat rolls his eyes at the two before pulling the door open and walking through.

He’s memorized the steps to Dr. Dante’s room. Third floor, one left turn, a 270 degree walk around the circular nurse’s station, and the second door on the left. Karkat knocked.

“Come in.” She said, sounding as irritated as he knew she’d be. Still not something that couldn't be fixed by a good apology.

He opened the door. The entire west wall of her room was made of glass, but this was almost always hidden behind sheer curtains, obviously because this was a check-up room first and a snazzy diagnosis room second. The room was enveloped in an ocean theme, complete with seashell portraits and calming blue wallpaper.

Dr. Dante herself was in the far side of the room, where a desk had been squeezed in somehow. He’d known her for what, eight years now? It was when they were trapped in Scratch, a little farm town that was completely landlocked and only kept going because no one could afford to leave. They’d heard that there was a new technique in the next town over, but his dad could only find a job in Scratch, so they made do.

But the technique ended up aggravating the situation. He was practically on his last legs while his dad went out and tried to make enough money to leave for someplace new.

That was when Dr. Dante appeared on their doorstep, covered in emerald scales and a piercing stare. Neither of them knew who she was. Her first name was Margaret, but they learned quickly not to call her that. She came with a black suitcase that seemed simple, but when she opened it by Karkat’s bedside, it was anything but. Karkat still remembered what she’d said to his dad when she readied a syringe.

“Don’t worry. I’m here to help your son.”

Long story short, because they could go on and on about the number of times he got pricked with a needle and the times she smiled when she found a new test: he got better. She offered to pay for their trip to New Skaia, so she could keep an eye on him. His dad agreed. And that was that.

Since then, he hadn’t had any major flare-ups. Karkat had to admit he was grateful.

“Sorry I’m late.” He said, as he settled into an armchair.

“I’m sure you are. Is there any reason for it?”

“I had to pick up some groceries.” Groceries, that he now realized, would end up growing warm in the car. Karkat didn’t even want to think what the milk would turn into.

“That’s understandable then. How have you been?”

Karkat brought his hand to the back of his neck. “It’s been. I mean, everything’s been fine. I haven’t run out of breath or anything lately. The medication didn’t show any side effects yet, unless mood swings were on there-“

“They weren’t.” She leaned forward. “Karkat, are you okay? Psychologically, that is.”

“I’m fine.”

“People are very rarely fine. How’s school? I realize you’re only taking one class this semester.”

“I’ve…got a lot on my plate right now.”

“Okay. How are your relationships? You spoke about your moirallegiance last time we met.”

“Uh. Well.”

“Have you met anyone new recently? Or are you still in the same circle of routine as last time? It was a very unhealthy one, as I recall. ”

“Dr. Dante!” She widened her eyes and he immediately regretted raising his voice.

“…sorry. You weren’t giving me a second to breathe.” She raised an eyebrow as she reclined to her chair. Her draconic tongue flicked out before sliding back in.

“That’s true. Speak.”

He sighed. “I did meet a guy. But he wasn’t new. I just haven’t talked to him since high school.”

“How intriguing. What did he look like?”

Karkat rolled his eyes. Of course, she was interested in _this_. Days like this made him long for the times when he was sitting under a ventilator and couldn’t talk.

“Blond hair. Red eyes, but he hides them behind these giant shades that eat up half of his face. A lean frame, but one with muscle holding it up, I can tell. He’s pretty annoying, actually. Does not know when to shut his fucking mouth.”

“He’s an incubus, then. Just what the doctor ordered.” Dave was an incubus? He’d heard of those, or he’d heard the rumors anyway. Tall, attractive beings who fucked people over both physically and mentally. They were completely aromatic, and only lived for the hunt. In the myth of how all sapient species were created, the incubi were made from the God’s testes and the succubae from its ovaries.

Karkat could see the smile slowly spreading across her lips. He’d didn’t like it.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, just as she got up from her chair and walked over to Karkat. She motioned towards the examination table.

“This boy sounds like he would be good for you. You should continue on with him. Now, I’m going to need a blood sample before you leave.”

Karkat sighed and followed her.

\- -

When Karkat got back home, nobody was there. He let out a brief sigh of relief as he put the new groceries in the corresponding shelves. They’d probably gone out to the bar a few blocks away. Despite that, his phone was still overloaded with texts like ‘KaRbRo?’ and ‘I’M SoRrY AbOuT WhAt i sAiD. wE NeEd tO TaLk.’ to the point where he’d put it on silent.

He slunk away into his room to dig into more homework, but he was still thinking about his appointment. Dave would be good for him? As a friend, or as a lover?

Karkat opened up his laptop and typed in ‘incubus’ into Google. The results went from Wikipedia to some angry blogger ranting about how some dude had been with him for a year and ditched him by text message one night. That last one he clicked on for a good laugh, because the guy sounded so scorned. It actually had pictures.

“Here’s my douchebag ex,” they typed, before posting a picture of two of them in front of a club. The blogger was presumably the naiad with long dark hair shaped into a mohawk. He wore long drooping clothes that shimmered in a navy blue ombre. A chain around his waist held a vial of water. Next to him was the incubus, who looked a lot like Dave, only an inch or two shorter.

Wait. Maybe it was-! Other than the height, the guy looked exactly like Dave. Not the one who stood behind the counter and made snarky jokes. Like the Dave who had given him his phone number.

Karkat pulled the card out of his front pocket. It was crumbled, but still legible. Should he call him?

He was typing the number into his contacts when he heard the front door swing open.

“The mortals and I are back! We brought the smoke-smoke!” Kailus’ voice rings through the air as they walk through the door, their footsteps pounding against the floor. They brought a familiar wave of chatter back to the apartment. The room slowly filled up with sound and Karkat could hear them clearly through the walls.

There was a new voice in the rumble. Something low and dark that peaked in the conversation before falling again. Were they just a guest? Or was the grocery bill going to get stretched a little bit thinner? Karkat groaned as he leaned back in the chair and facepalmed. He had work tomorrow. Maybe he could pick up the stapler during lunch? No, OfficeMan was too far away. Or better yet, maybe Gamzee’d forgot about it-

“Kar! Come over here!” What? He looked out at the door from underneath his palm. He was pretty sure they’d been fighting a few hours ago. He didn’t expect to be mentioned, much less called. Karkat dropped the card on the desk but held his phone firm in hand as he got up to enter the living room.

They were all sitting around in a circle, passing around a joint. So that’s what the smoke-smoke was.The stranger was a fairy, one with wings that glistened silver and folded in neatly behind him. Kailus was staring at them in a daze. Meanwhile, PQ and Gamzee lay flat on their back, staring up at the ceiling. The ceiling that had somehow gotten painted rainbow. How hadn’t he not noticed that?

“Hey Kar. How bout you sit down and take a draw?” Fuck. What did he just wander into.

“No thanks.” Karkat paused. “I thought you said you were going to keep this out of the house.”

“Ain’t make no difference. Besides, it’s  more comfortable than the alleys. But you don’t want me to be in the alleys either, right Karkat?” The stranger let out a high-pitched laugh that slowly slipped down to a soft chuckle. They must’ve been high when they came in. He should probably just let them blow it off. Karkat took a step back, then forward again.

As a good moirail, wasn’t it his job to step in and fix the situation? This was what he was supposed to do! Did Tamari back off from Phobis when he was about to jump off that bridge? Or Damara from Wellia when she was about to shoot up the National Bank? He took a deep breath.

"But you don't wanna get my motherfucking stapler, Karkat?" More laughter.

“Gamzee. Stop taking that. Please.” He turned his head towards him.

“Karkat, fuck, what even are- Stop being such a wuss. Sometimes,” Gamzee said with another drag of the blunt. “You gotta take things _reallll_ _chill like_.” The rest of them started laughing again, nodding towards Karkat. He felt his stomach twist, but continued on.

“Hey-“

“Shhhhhh. Don’t matter no more. Close your eyes.”

“No, but-“

“Don’t you trust me?”

Karkat closed his eyes. He felt something suddenly press between his lips and his eyes shot open. He sucked in an attempt to get air but only got hard smoke that burned his lungs. A hand was against his back as he coughed and spat. The blunt fell out onto the floor, along with his phone he forgot he was holding.

“We got the good stuff, palebro, so don’t worry. It all up and needs one good drag to send it home, you got me?” Karkat looked up at Gamzee’s tilted smile, his heart beating and eyesight going blurry.

“I got you.” Gamzee bent and picked up something. His smile grew in what felt like miles.

“Better tell this Dave kid that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ellie's the name, exposition and dialogue is my game  
> as always, tell me about any mistakes down below and my tumblr is over here -> spooky-gator.tumblr.com


	6. In Which Dave Has An Intelligent Discussion With His Favorite Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOST MY USB  
> prayer circle that i get it back so i don't have to type solely on my sister's laptop （；￣д￣）  
> btw i got a beta reader (heads up girly *le wonk*)  
> fingers crossed that i do my job and type another chapter tomorrow so you can have two to last you through midterms/finals week

The first text came when he was in he was in her car. They’d traded their usual remarks when she pulled up to the curb, and now they were absorbed in their own individual activities. Rose concentrated on the road, while Dave thought of ways to update his blog.

He was proud of how much irony he’d put into it. None of the posts were ever about his life. One from two weeks ago was a six-paragraph play-by-play of a squirrel he’d seen running across the street, barely avoiding a car. Some were just one or two words, like ‘egg’ and ‘open sesame’, with no other explanation. There were a few times where he’d put his most recent posts with a date several months in the past, so only people going through his archive could find the updates.

Dave’d just decided on describing the sun in the vaguest terms possible when his phone vibrated.

AA: i heard management 0ffered y0u a j0b!  
AA: are y0u g0ing t0 take it  
TG: maybe maybe not  
TG: it’s complicated

He still hadn’t gotten anything from Karkat... Maybe he just didn’t want to talk to him. Ignoring the way his heart squeezed, Dave switched tabs back to his blog.

“Somebody must really want to get in contact with you.” At his sister's comment, Dave slid his phone into his back pocket. He’d find out what was going on later; talking with a Lalonde took all of your concentration. One wrong word and you could end up trapped in a never ending sea of penis envy and subconscious desires.

“Nah, just trying to get all my affairs in order before we go have this big talk of ours. I would give you a hint, but I wanna make sure all the breakdowns are behind closed doors. And by breakdowns, I mean beat-dropping, sweet-moving, dance offs.”

“I wasn’t aware there was any other type.” She said, as she pulled off a parallel park between a gas giant of a truck and a white sedan. They stepped out of the car and entered his apartment building, which looked just as faded as it always did. Dave was really not surprised, the amount of money he paid for his place pretty much meant the carpet wasn’t going to be gum-free. They called the elevator with a simple push of the up button.

“So, how is your DJing going?”

“Great. Give me a few more months, and my name’s going to be on billboards.”

“Mmhmm.” The elevator slid open and the two of them walked in.

Rose hadn’t really changed since high school, but at the same time she’d changed a lot. Her hair was still in a short bob and she’d barely grown, but now she was much more confident. Dave noticed she’d been smiling a lot more too, though that might just be Kanaya’s doing.

“Do you have any tea?” She asked, as they stepped through the door of his apartment.

“Nope, just apple juice and water.” Dave answered, following her to his kitchen. He leaned against the wall and watched as she pulled a packet from her bag. Idly turning on the kettle, she opened up a cabinet and chose a mug labeled ‘#1 KID’ with the word ‘KOOL’ hastily painted in between. “I thought so.” Rose plopped the tea bag into the cup and smiled at him.

“You’re just going to take advantage of my things like that? Turn up my water bill and rub your hands all over my sweet mugs?” She raised an eyebrow at the same time the water started to boil.

“You realize that I got you this mug.”

“Well, it’s mine now.” Sisters. Always trying to take back what might’ve been theirs to begin with, but were now rightfully yours. At least Bro kept to his own stuff, even if he did leave it all over the apartment; under the couch and in the attic and great now he was thinking about puppets.

Dave watched her fiddle with his stuff even more until she had a hot cup of tea. He folded his arms and let out a loud, overly exaggerated sigh. Rose's eyes widened, but her growing smirk let on that she was definitely not confused.

“C’mon, are we going to do this or not?”

“Of course.” She leaned back against the counter and took a small sip. Dave felt a shiver run down his spine as her eyes started glow a brighter violet than before. She’d always been able to pass them off as a unique shade of blue, but right now there was no mistaking it, not with that look. She was a succubus.

Rose always had more control over it than he did. While he struggled to keep that side of him from knocking him out, she always had a symbiosis going. People rarely ever thought she was anything other than human. The occasional ‘half-dragon?’, but never close to what she- what  _they_ really were. She was too respected to be accused of that.

“Show off.”

“You could let go too, if you really wanted to.” He could, but who knows what he might say? Dave crossed his arms tighter and shrugged.

“Yeah, maybe not. Do you think this crappy room can take two demon classes? Let’s play it safe.”

“Just because you‘re not ‘on’ right now,” she actually put the cup down in order to make quotation marks. “doesn’t mean you’re not a demon class.”

“Sure, whatever.”

“That’s like saying a lamp that isn’t on isn’t a lamp.”

“Rose, sorry to interrupt your speech that I’m sure would be very ‘inspiring’," Dave said as dryly as he could, shooting the air quotes right back at her. "but this is totally not what I called you about. Like, at all.” He could feel his blood starting to burn, and it took all of his effort not to just Flip and really yell. She probably didn’t even call it Flipping.

Maybe Slipping, since it was as easy as falling down the stairs.

Rose crinkled her nose, took another long sip, and nodded.

“So what did you call me for?” Dave sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. Finally.

“There’s this kid, Karkat. You might know him from high school?” Rose tilted her head slightly.

“Karkat? The one that Kanaya’s friends with? I may have seen him one or two times.”

“Well, he showed up at my store a few days ago. That was actually awful. I’m pretty sure we both set a pretty bad example of ourselves there. But then he showed up at my bus stop today. And...” Dave looked over his shoulder and then down at the floor.

“And I followed him.”

Rose suddenly grinned and adjusted herself on her spot against the counter.

“No, no, go on.” He really didn’t want to go on, especially with the way she was clearly on the brink of laughter. But he needed to know what had happened and she was the only person he had to go to for this stuff. Just his luck.

“I followed him up to his car and then we talked for a bit and then I…Flipped. Only I didn’t really Flip because I was still up and running behind the scenes. Like, it was about to jump into the car seat but I could hold it back.”

She pursed her lips. “But you couldn’t keep control if you Flipped right now, correct?” Dave shook his head.

“Then it can only be one thing. I believe the term is _daemonis in caritate_ , if my Latin is correct.” She tipped her head back and drank back the rest of the tea in one gulp. After placing it gently in the sink, Rose made her way towards the door. “Now I have to go, the bridge traffic gets to be a nightmare around this time.”

“Wait!” Dave spun around the corner and followed behind her. There was no way she was just going to drop that bomb and waltz away like she hadn’t just blown his mind to pieces. ‘Tune in next time’, his sweet Strider ass. He was getting his answer today.

“What’s demonis in karate?” He closed the door to his apartment behind them and kept up with her as she walked down the hallway.

“A little thing that happens when your other side gets a little attracted in someone. But you wouldn’t be interested anyway.” She pressed the button for the lobby.

“No, I’m totally interested! What is it?”

“It stands for ‘demon in love’. I’m sure you can Google the rest.”

“Rose, does it look like I know how to spell that shit.” She shrugged as the elevator chugged its way to the top and with a soft ding, opened. Rose walked in.

Really? Dave took a look back at his unlocked apartment. He turned to the elevator, the doors were about to close.

Man,  _sisters_. He jumped in just before it was too late.

“Dude, what is the deal? Normally you’d be dying to tell me this stuff.” She turned to face him, eyes glowing.

“Fine. Have you ever wondered how weird it is that demons mate for life, but we always have all of these flings?” Dave nodded. How were you supposed to settle down when you never kept a relationship going for more than three months? There was that one time when he’d managed a year, but at that point, his incubus was on the verge of attacking the guy. Dave ended up breaking up with him over text message, just in case getting close would spark something.

“Daemonis in caritate is when you’ve found the one. As in  _The One_ , the one.” Dave took a deep breath. Wait. No, wait, did that mean-

“What happens if you ignore it?”

“Nothing. You’ll just have flings for the rest of your life. And you’ll never be able to talk to that person normally again. There will be some...side effects.” Rose raised an eyebrow.

“You said Karkat, right?”

No. “No.” Dave said, throwing his hands up. “That’s- Maybe I'm getting control over my incubus. Yup, that must be it. That’s totally it because there’s no way-“

Rose cut him off with a giggle. “It’s fine. I won’t tell Kanaya.” The doors opened as the elevator stopped and she walked out into the lobby. “Call me once the shock wears off.”  
With that and one final smirk, she was gone.

His phone vibrated. Dave reached into his back pocket and pulled it out. There was a text from Karkat. Sparing one last look at the front door, he pressed the top floor button for the second time that day and replied.


	7. In Which Our Two Protagonists Make Contact

There was a ton of texts from Karkat. As in, enough to fill a couple pages. Dave had no idea how he didn’t feel them coming through. And no offense to him or anything, but they were as random as his blog. The legible ones mostly talked about these sappy straight-to-DVD troll movies that he liked to watch (which deteriorated into a long string of a’s) and the titles took up big spaces on their own. A picture or two had been snuck in there, but they were too blurry to make out anything.

Then there was an hour long gap before the message he’d just sent.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:13 --

CG: SORRY FOR ALL THE BULLSHIT.

TG: dude no biggie

Dave entered his apartment and kicked his shoes off to the side. It sounded like there was a reason behind the messages. One of his friends stole his phone when he wasn’t looking?

CG: WHAT KIND OF PHRASE IS ‘NO BIGGIE’?

TG: you know

TG: no biggie

TG: it’s a thing

CG: YEAH, I’M SURE IT IS.

CG: THEN AGAIN, I GUESS I SHOULD’VE BEEN PREPARED FOR THAT TYPE OF WORD VOMIT FROM A GUY LIKE YOU

CG: UGH MY HEAD STILL HURTS

TG: just to be clear

TG: you don’t know what the phrase ‘no biggie’ is

CG: FUCK OFF TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE OF INFINITY.

TG: and theres the guy we all know and love

TG: so

TG: why does your head hurt

CG: ‘BEEP BEEP’.

CG: WRONG QUESTION. TRY A-FUCKING-GAIN.

TG: are you free on saturday

TG: not like I’m asking you out on a date or anything

TG: that would be totally weird

TG: we’d be sitting there like a couple of chumps by a candlelit table

TG: some type of fancy steak as our entre that’s the size of a quarter

TG: you gaze at me with the eyes of a shojo schoolgirl who’s just learning the meaning of love

TG: and I grab your hand lean over the table and whisper sultrily into your ear

TG: ‘no homo’

CG: WHY? WHY ARE YOU SO INSISTENT IN MAKING NO SENSE AT ALL TIMES NECESSARY?

TG: that’s just what I do

TG: weave people in my web of mystique

TG: but my points are never quite unseen

TG: hey that wasn’t that bad

TG: what do you think

CG: I THINK YOU COULDN’T GET YOURPOINT IF SOMEONE STRAPPED YOU INTO A PAIR OF ROCKET SHOES AND AIMED YOU TOWARDS IT.

CG: WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY?

TG: were catching up remember

CG: RIGHT. WHAT WOULD WE BE DOING ANYWAYS?

TG: there’s this movie theater that I used to go to with my sister

TG:  it’s pretty cool

TG: only shows movies from the 80s and 90s

TG: they’re having a weekend premiere of ‘the breakfast club’ and a bunch of foreign language movies from an indie movie festival

TG: it’s on the riverfront so I don’t go down there that often

Dave remembered the hot summer days when the two of them would meet up. He’d be dressed up in board shirts and a pink sleeveless shirt, and Rose would have her hair swooped behind a headband and wear one of her cozy sweaters. Their guardians would be right by them, starting their own attempts at small talk.

If everything went to plan, it’d be cool by the time they got out. They could take a walk by the river, he pondered as he flopped onto his futon. Dave held the phone over his head as he waited. The seagulls there liked to drop some nasty air attacks, if you know what he meant. Maybe he’d bring an umbrella.

Hold on, Dave shook his head as he cleared the memory from his mind. The guy didn’t even say yes yet, and he was already planning the day out.

CG: HM. MAYBE YOUR TASTE ISN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL.

TG: who said my taste was bad

TG: my taste is a national treasure and nicolas cage wishes he could get his grubby paws on them

TG: my movie choices and sweet jams haunt his dreams at night

CG: I RETRACT MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT. YOUR TASTE IS ACTUALLY HORRIBLE AND I’M GIVING ALL CREDIT TO YOUR SISTER.

TG: aw man don’t be like that

TG: wait so is that a yes

CG: I WORK ON SATURDAYS. IS SUNDAY OKAY?

Yes. Dave rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up onto his elbows.

TG: sundays perfect

TG: is three pm okay

CG: YEAH SURE WHY NOT.

CG: IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO DO AROUND HERE OTHER THAN WATCH THE SINK FILL UP.

CG: HEY.

TG: what

CG: I FORGOT. WOW, MY THINK PAN COMPLETELY SIZZLED OUT ON ME. I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT, I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO TYPE IT OUT.

TG: don’t worry about it

TG: you do have my number now

CG: AN UNFORTUNATE TRUTH.

TG: don’t act like you don’t want some of this

CG: SOME OF WHAT? THAT MESS OF STICK AND BONES YOU AFFECTIONATELY CALL A BODY?

Meanwhile, several miles away, there was a knock on Karkat’s door. Or at least, he hoped it was a knock and not some sort of hallucination. It was a good thing he took a blood test today, because Dr. Dante would beat his ass if she could see it now. Karkat licked the rest of the noodle sauce off his lips before grating out a response.

“Come in.” It was Gamzee, who was still holding his own box of Chinese takeout with only one chopstick stuck in the box.  Karkat felt his breathing slow as his moirail stepped in further and closed the door behind him. He almost never closed doors.

“Wanna take a nap together palebro? Don’t know about you, but my head’s still spinning up a storm.”

“In the bed? With me?” Karkat asks, before he can stop himself. Gamzee only smiles as he moves to bounce up and down on the mattress. He pats on the spot beside him.

He lets a long breath leave his chest. See? Everything was alright. Gamzee was just busy living in the moment, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have time for him. Karkat nodded.

“Okay, let me tell this guy.”

TG: stop looking at the angles and spend some more time on the curves

CG: YEAH, WHATEVER.

CG: I’M GOING TO TAKE A NAP.

CG: PS: THERE ARE NO CURVES ON A STRAIGHT ROAD

TG: sweet dreams asshole

CG: SEE YOU LATER CROTCHDROPPER

Karkat dropped the phone on the desk and moved over into the bed. He reached over the side of the bed to grab the warm, sopor-infused blanket and drape it over the both of them. He could hear Gamzee chuckle as Karkat wrapped his arms around as much he could get. The other troll was so much cooler than him, but he didn’t mind. This was more than he’d gotten in a long time.

“Karbro?” He could feel the vibrations of his voice through his back, and Karkat couldn’t help but smile. He snuggled closer.

“Yeah?”

“You get I only said all that stuff cause it’s true right? And I really did want you to chill. I still do.” Gamzee’s arm reached down to grab the smaller troll’s hand. Karkat turned his head and sighed warmly into the air. He could barely think straight. All he knew was that his moirail was in his arms, he was warm, and he was full of yummy MSG.

What else did he need to be happy?

“Right. I care about you too, dumbdumb.” The two slowly drifted off to sleep.


	8. In Which Dave Goes On Something That's Totally Not A Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's your very very late christmas present!  
> i wanted to get it posted on christmas but then family obligations happened

Dave couldn't stop thinking about the date.

No. Not a date. The meet-up, because he was not dating Karkat. Right.

Still, as he got ready for work, he wondered if he should change up his hairstyle. How casual should he dress? Should he pick him up, or just meet him at the theater? He realized he didn’t even tell him where the theater  _was_.

It wasn't until he caught his own reflection on his phone that Dave realized how stressed he looked. This was just so weird. He never freaked out like this from anything romance-related.

A midnight duel with only the light of the moon to hint at an oncoming blade? Yes.

But a grumpy troll? Dave shook his head to himself and smirked. No, not just that; a troll with a bad attitude and a foul mouth to match, along with a bedhead of black curls and the stubbiest horns to hit the planet, a large sweater that couldn’t hide the smooth definition of his arms, a stomach lean and hard- fuck.

Now he was actually blushing over this guy. Wow. This- this was definitely something new. His pants were also getting a bit tight from that train of thought, though that he could handle.

Work was nothing special. On Wednesday, Mr. Egbert had him moved off the floor and into a training cubicle in the back.

“It’ll be good practice for the new job.” He’d said with a smile, even though Dave hadn’t accepted yet. From then on, he filed paperwork and every once and a while, made calls to OfficeMan HQ. It was a lot easier than listening to customers rant, that was for sure. Maybe he should take it. There had to be some way to work around getting out at eight... Yet Dave still felt unsure, and that uncertain feeling kept him from responding whenever Mr. Egbert asked how he was liking the new work. Instead, he gave a half-smile and shrugged.

“Give me a few more days.” But he still had no idea what to do when he walked out of work on Friday (the highlight of his week had to be when Karkat came in on Wednesday. The poor trainee didn’t know what hit him until it was all over.) This was starting to become a thing.

Dave spent most of Saturday doing nothing. Yeah, the entire day was as cool as cool can be. He casually spent his morning under the covers relaxing and not checking his phone for text messages. Later, he put together some new beats in wicked matrimony with his turntables , while balancing his phone on his knee. Then when the clock hit five, he calmly texted Karkat about the details for the next day.

If he didn’t think he was worried, then he obviously he couldn’t be. Right?

TG: just checking  
TG: the two movies theyre showing are ghostbusters and back to the future  
TG: so theres only one option  
TG: p sure john has ruined ghostbusters forever  
TG: the theaters on 91st river st  
TG: the building that’s a perfect cube and 80’s futuristic looking  
TG: which is kinda the point  
TG: lets meet up at there okay

There wasn’t any response, but that was okay. Karkat could always read it when he actually left work. That was the point of sending text messages. Still  _not_ worried at all, Dave went to make dinner. 

This wasn’t a date. It’s not like they were going to see each other and stars would pop in their eyes.

Nah, they were just catching up like bros do... Bros that barely talked in high school and only really gave eachother the time of day now. Yeah.  
Dave poured macaroni into the pot with one hand and drummed out a beat with the other. Besides, it couldn’t be a date because Karkat didn’t feel the same way. He wasn’t about to force himself on someone, demon karate or not. And Karkat didn’t seem that excited about it.

Maybe he should cancel. If he had work today, then Sunday was probably Karkat's only day to relax. No wonder he was so stuffy all the time. Dave could barely keep going on a five-day schedule.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket and opened up to his contacts. A quick press of the number three, and then he looked up to lower the heat before the pasta boiled over.  
The guy picked up after the third ring, which was why Dave gave him that speed dial number.

“What’s up?” Dave found his usual position against the counter, kicking his left leg up.

“Do you see any openings for Sunday? I might be free. Depends.” Max laughed, followed by the sound of him licking his fangs.

“Cutting it close, don’t you think? Even for a sorry wannabe like you.”

Dave sighed. “Are there openings or not?”

“Nope. Unless you wanna try your luck with Surge, but I’m pretty sure that whole debacle from last year hasn’t blown over with Sissy yet. You’re welcome to try.” Man. He remembered that too. And so did his incubus, from the way he felt a dark laugh coming on. That whole thing was just messy, Dave still couldn’t go around there without getting looks from people.

Damn, did his incubus make messes the size of Godzilla with a stick up his butt.

“Alright. See you around.” Dave hung up before the vampire could make a nasty remark. The dude might know everything going on in New Skaia’s underground (and have a killer set of abs) but he was a total asshole.

So DJing was out. He should’ve known; no club was out of a gig this late into the day. None of the good ones anyway. He drained the macaroni into a sieve and plopped it into a chipped bowl., then licked the cheesy sauce off of his fingers as he squirted it on top. Just the way Bro made it.

Dave was about to dig in when he felt his phone vibrate, but didn’t take it out right then. Nobody interrupts a Strider when they’re eating. Not even family. As soon as the bowl hit sink, though, he turned it on.

CG: SURE, I DON’T MIND WATCHING THAT AGAIN. THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A LITTLE ENJOYABLE, WHICH ALREADY BEATS ALL OF MY EXPECTATIONS BY MILES.  
CG: AND BY THE WAY?  
CG: I DON’T GET OUT OF WORK UNTIL EIGHT. SO TRY AND WAIT UNTIL THEN TO BOTHER ME WITH YOUR FESTERING BULLSHIT.

Well, there was no backing out of it now. He could either be a dick and cancel it just because he couldn’t keep his cool around him, or he could just go to the movies.

This wasn’t a date, but it sure as hell felt like one.

\-  -  -

Dave was the first one to get there, which meant that he got a few minutes to familiarize himself with the place. He had an old record tee that someone had given him for some holiday, after he’d publicly announced he was going to make David Guetta cry with his sick beats. He didn’t wear it that often, but he couldn’t find anything closer to semi-formal. Honestly, the only other option was his work shirt.

While he waited for Karkat to show up, he checked with the ticket booth on the movies they were showing. Then he checked the popcorn and ticket prices. Finally, he found a seat by a nearby restaurant and watched the river, totally not looking down the road for a beatup black sedan.

Karkat showed up fifteen minutes later. He wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt, but that wasn’t what caught Dave’s eye. No, it was something much more radical. He actually couldn’t believe his eyes, not even when the troll spotted him and waved.

Karkat was smiling. Not that wide or large, and no teeth were showing, but it was a smile. Dave felt himself take a deep breath as it suddenly got a lot hotter in the room.  
“Are we still watching the movie?”

Dave jumped to his feet, pushing the screeching chair out from under the table. Whoops. Some customers turned, but he couldn’t really pay attention to them right now.

“Yeah, of course. Let’s go.” What was going on? He was pretty sure that his cool had suddenly officially joined his dignity at the bottom of the river. How did a smile knock down his defenses? Dave adjusted his shades, but he still felt awkward hopping over the fence separating the restaurant from the sidewalk.

Karkat gave him an odd look, but he ignored it and kept walking with his hands in his pockets.

He was wearing a shirt with repeating crabs in different shades of red, along with an unzipped jacket and black skinny jeans. Dave made sure he stayed behind him so he could get an eyeful of the real show. Like he mentioned, his dignity was currently at the bottom of the river. Leave a message for his morals at the beep.

“Sorry I’m late. I got caught up with my moirail at home.” So he had one of those. Dave didn’t have any problem with troll quadrants. In fact, he knew for sure that there were romance schemes out there that made human romance seem like a one-trick pony. Compared to that, being someone’s matesprit was a piece of cake.

“No problem. These guys do this really cool thing where they show ads for movies that came out in the 2000’s. The movie probably hasn’t started yet.”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “Why the fuck would they do that?”

“To ‘enhance the experience of stepping back in time’. Also, irony.” That was one of the reasons why Bro made sure they met up at this theater, and not the slightly-cheaper one that actually showed recent movies. The people who owned the place really put the effort in making the whole thing a throwback. Dave still had the pair of red and blue 3D glasses he got to wear a grand total of once before his eye color got a bit too bright.

“Really? That’s irony?”

“What’s wrong with irony?”

“Nothing, I’m just pretty sure you have no idea what the word ‘irony’ means.” Dave stopped in his tracks and Karkat turned to look at him. Oh, he did  _not_  just say he didn’t know irony. If it wasn’t on before, now it was on like a certain hairy Nintendo character.

“What? Dude, I invented irony. Irony is like this little baby I found on the street that nobody else could understand. Nobody knew what to do with it, but you know what? I did. I took care of it. I nurtured it with sweet rhymes and sick beats, I changed its diaper, and I took care of it when it was sick. So if you think I don’t know what irony means, then you don’t know it at all.”

Karkat crossed his arms. “Right. I would tear into your weak-as-lusus-droppings logic now, but unfortunately that would just waste more of my ever so precious time on the shit that is constantly falling out of your mouth. Can we at least try to watch some of the movie?”

“Sure.” Dave shrugged. They could always have this conversation later.

They grabbed the tickets and snacks before heading to the movie theater. Karkat got a large popcorn and a cherry Icee, hugging the carton to his chest while holding the cup in his hands. He looked like one good push would knock him down. Dave tried to bite back his smile.

“Need any help there?” Karkat didn’t stop walking to deliver a one finger salute.  Oh well. Couldn’t say he didn’t try.

The place was actually pretty full, for a movie that had come out almost three decades ago. There were only a few scattered seats left. Karkat paused at the front, before making his way up the steps. Dave followed him to a pair of seats towards the middle and close to the back. He watched as Karkat set down his popcorn and sank into the seat.

As he'd thought, they were still showing the advertisements. But Dave had seen those a million times.

“Have you seen it before?”

“Twice, maybe three times? I don’t really watch human movies that often. And science fiction isn’t really ‘my thing’.” Karkat shrugged and reached forward for a handful of popcorn. He pushed a few kernels in at a time, flicking his tongue out once his lips got too greasy. Dave lost his question while watching him go through the motions. He didn’t even notice he was moving forward until Karkat turned to look at him.

“So what is your thing?” Was that a blush? Oh my god, it totally was, from the way he was looking down. Of course, now would be the time movie theater’s lights turn off.

“It’s…romance. Don’t be an ass about it or I swear, I will fucking-“

“Dude, whatever. It’s your thing. If that means Fabios grabbing onto barely dressed babes and declaring their undying love for their eyes and the way they say ‘fortissimo’ then-“

“Shut up. Just shut everything you are up and watch the fucking screen.” But Dave could tell he wasn’t upset, or at least, not as upset as he was pretending to be. He kicked up his feet onto the empty seat in front, stole some of Karkat’s popcorn, and watched as the Universal symbol came on screen.

The movie wasn’t bad. Then again, how could Back to the Future ever be bad? The movie was a straight-up classic. Everyone wants to be Marty McFly on the inside. Except for that part where his mom had a crush on him. That was gross.

Of course, he talked the entire time. At first, Karkat violently glared at him, but eventually he gave in and let Dave talk. He was pretty sure he managed to make Karkat laugh at least once and a half, the half because he pressed his lips together and kept it inside.

They walked out of the theater with the rest of the crowd, Karkat still holding onto his half-full bucket.

Dave really did not want to go back to his apartment alone... Going home would mean having to face his responsibilities.

“Now what?” Karkat asked. Dave looked over his shoulder at the other theater rooms.

“Well they’re showing Le Chat Bleu over there. It could be cool.”

Karkat gasped, which Dave snorted at. “We are not movie hopping.”

“Why not? We already paid.”

“Yeah, for Back to the Future! Not for some hipster’s wet dream of a foreign film. And every movie hopper takes away money from the hardworking actors and directors who made the film! Not to mention the movie theater’s revenue, or the employees who get yelled at because they didn’t catch sneaky little assholes like you.”

“Mm, okay. Well, you know where the front of the theater is.” Dave took a few steps away, but he was too busy keeping from laughing to do much else. The troll actually looked like he was about to burst, red cheeks flaring and fangs beared. He wasn’t going to lie, Karkat looked cute when he was mad.

“I am  **not**  waiting for you, you sorry sack of shit.”

“Ooh, nice alliteration there Karkat. Wish I could hear some more of it, but I don’t wanna miss the show.” Karkat groaned before walking up to join Dave with a finger pointed at his chest. “You are  _so_  lucky I’m not out of popcorn yet. Soooo fucking lucky.”

“Yup, I’ve truly been blessed by your presence Karkat.” The troll let out another groan, but it was more of a sigh this time. The sigh of surrender he’d been waiting for. They walked into the darkness of the next room, side by side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also someone should totally tell me how to get the color coding for the pesterlogs


	9. In Which Karkat and Co. Have An Actual Sitdown Dinner For Once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the long-awaited chapter nine

Karkat was lost. Not lost as in 'he had no idea how to get home from here' (though that wouldn't be untrue) but lost like 'what the fuck was going on'. It had started off pretty simple. They came in. They watched Back to the Future. They left. A 12 year old wouldn't find that worthy enough to write in their diary.

It was during their third movie that things changed. Le Chat Bleu turned out to be incredibly boring and also without subtitles so they skipped into the next one. Just as they were getting settled, Karkat felt his nails scrape the bottom of the popcorn bucket.

"Oh shit."

"What's up?"

  
"I'm out of popcorn." Dave looked over into Karkat's arms at the sad truth. Then he looked up at the screen, where Rose has just appeared on screen.

"Are you going to leave?" Karkat looked down. He hated missing any part of a movie. There were some movies that he rented to rewatch at home just because he had to get up and use the bathroom the first time.  He put the bucket down and strectched.

"Yeah. I did say I was going to leave when my popcorn was finished, Strider. Don't look so surprised."

"Stay." He looked back at Dave. He was still sitting, but he was leaning forward like he was ready to jump up if he needed to.  Karkat felt his eyebrows knit together. What was the big deal?

"Stay to see how this turns out. I hear there's this really funny scene at the end where the two of them fight over this piece of wood. And before that they get busy in the back of a car. This is some film gold right here."

Karkat shrugged. "I've already seen it." He almost wished he didn't say that when he saw Dave physically deflate. The human sunk back into his seat. Karkat took this as his sign to get going. He grabbed the empty container and made for the stairs when all of a sudden there was a hand around his wrist. He gave a hard shake of his wrist and turned around.

"Well, stay for me."

Right there. That was when Karkat lost the plot. His eyebrows were still squished together by the fact that he'd put his hands on him and the fact remained that he had nothing to eat but. Somehow it seemed like if he left now, he'd regret it the whole way home.

Karkat sighed and sat back down, the chair squeaking under his weight. "I hope you appreciate how much of a pain this is for me." He'd said. The words only made Dave's mouth quirk up a little higher, as he gave him a little nod and turned back to the screen.

Even now, Karkat could barely remember what happened in that movie. Or the next two films they watched before one of the employees started giving them suspicious looks. He was too busy trying to figure out what was going on. And it didn't help that they kept gravitating towards each other until in the middle of Karate Kid they had to fight over who got the armrest (He won of course. He always wins).

They'd left the theater laughing. Karkat hit a red light and he braked a little harder than usual. He couldn't stop remembering the jokes, the blatant rule-breaking, the dumb little half-smile Dave seemed to crack whenever his mask was cracking. Distractedly, Karkat brought a hand up to his mouth. He was smiling.

Karkat unlocked the door to his apartment, still in a daze. Miraculously, everything was actually somewhat clean. Which in their case meant a. not burnt/burning and b. not recently "refurbished" in shades of purple or glitter. Something was up. He entered the house slowly, locking the door behind him. As he moved forward, he noticed PQ and Kailus chatting on the couch. The satyr’s feet were propped up by a suitcase.

"Hey. What are you two geniuses up to?" PQ looked up and broke into a smile. Before Karkat could say anything, he was crushed in a tight hug.

"Yo, right in time! I'm leaving tonight."

"Really?" The satyr had always talked about moving out and start partying 24/7. He practically had a treasure trove for a college fund, and unbeknownst to his parents, he was not out in Stanford getting a business degree. Karkat always wished him good luck on it, even if the probability that it would ever come true was a straight 0.000001% chance it would ever happen.

Damn, at this rate he should've bought a lottery ticket.

"Hell yeah. Spot opened up for me in my cousin's house farther downtown, right next to all the hotspots."

Karkat managed to push his way out of the hug to raise an eyebrow. "What the fuck are you talking about? This is downtown. You could not get anymore downtown if you got a shovel and started digging straight for Antarctica."

"Humor, crabcakes. I'm gonna miss that." PQ almost seemed sincere. Karkat was about to ask if he was okay when he saw the corners of his mouth slowly twitch up, before breaking out into a loud guffaw. The ground shook as PQ stamped his hoof.

"Just kidding! My cousin runs a 9 to 5 club right under his studio. I'm going to-" Suddenly, the satyr was behind Karkat, lifting the troll's arms in the air with an iron grip.

"Party all night!" This got Kailus looking in their direction. Once he realized that what was going on, he threw up his arms too. Karkat rolled his eyes and tried to break free. The two of them were such a mess.

Kailus came up to them and held Karkat by his sides. Yeah, because it's not like his grub scars were right there, damn. He shifted away from the other's hands. "Sparkle dance!"

"Yeah, no thanks." Karkat finally managed to jab his elbows down and break free from PQ. Oddly enough, the guy didn't seem even remotely upset. Nobody seemed to be lately. Fuck, was his menacing glare starting to wear off? That was about the last thing he needed. Right under 'an impromptu dance party in the living room'.

PQ put a hand on his hip and made a 'come-here' gesture with his finger, pursing his lips. "C'mon Kar. Let's sparkle dance!"

Karkat flipped him off with his right hand. "No fucking thank you. I’ll be in my room until you guys manage to find out where you misplaced your frontal lobes, along with the rest of your brain." He managed to break free from the two, just as the front door clicked open. Karkat looked over his shoulder just as Gamzee stumbled in.

"Gamzee!" PQ trotted away from the living room to tackle Gamzee at the entrance. Literally. They were both on the ground, with the troll's horns propping open the door. There were groans, yes, but it was mostly laughter that echoed throughout the apartment, amplifying against the unusually curved left wall of the room. Happy, bright bell tones that kept Karkat from entering his room.  
"Oh my god, bro, guess what?"

"What's up, brother?"

"Augustus came in for me. I'm moving out!" Gamzee laughed again, this time with excitement instead of surprise. He crawled out from underneath PQ, brushed off his ridiculous clown pants, and then offered PQ a hand. By the time Karkat had fully rejoined the group, both of them were standing. Gamzee's eyes were wide as he spoke.  
"Now that's what I call a motherfucking miracle! Should've told me earlier, I would've gotten us some Green Lady to round out the night. But I think I got some extra-"

"No." Karkat stepped forward. He hoped that he looked as strong and impenetrable as he needed to be, and not like the weak pushover he actually felt like. Last time...That was bad. But there wasn't too much he could do. The group was already too far gone, and there wasn't much he could say that could get them to stop. This was different. If he could stop them before drugs was introduced to the story, like a time traveling spy going back to keep the one he loves from marries the wrong guy, then things could change. This time, it would be different.

It didn't stop his teeth from sinking into his lip as he finished the word. Or his elbows from coming in close to his sides, as if he was bracing for something to knock him off his feet.

It was silent until Gamzee cocked his head, his adorable bedhead perfectly in place, and said,

"What are you talking about?"

"No drugs tonight. Instead- instead, why don't we just have a sit-down dinner sort of thing?" More silence. Karkat forced in a deep, deep breath.

"I mean, you guys can decorate the table however you want since it's really your party PQ, and I think we have enough groceries for maybe some lasagna, which is great, but we'd have to make two since Kailus doesn't eat meat, so everyone's gonna get maybe half a slice instead of a full one, which is pretty fucking depressing and not the way anyone should be going out even if they're not really going out but moving "downtown', whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean," a breath, "anyway, yeah everyone's going to have to deal with half a slice of lasagna because there's no fucking way I'm going to make one giant veggie lasagna, that is hell on a platter, that is just not right-"

"Karbro." That was a hand on his shoulder. Karkat looked up, only to find himself staring into Gamzee's eyes.

"It's cool. Let's try doing it your way, huh? How bout that?" This, too, was a different type of lost. He wasn't confused or unsure. In fact, it was the opposite. He was lost in the endless space of Gamzee's eyes, and in that space all there was comfort and kindness and forgiveness. Without knowing how, Karkat found himself nodding.

PQ and Kailus let out a groan that snapped Karkat back to Earth in a heartbeat. Gamzee took his hand off of his shoulder, and used it to clap twice.

"Alright, let's get together a motherfucking table the messiahs would be proud of." And with that, he swept all the stuff that had been accumulating on the dining platform aside. Most of the junk mail fell in flurries onto the floor, while some of the plates that were hidden inside of the pile crashed into pieces. PQ and Kailus raise into cheers. Karkat shakes his head. What a bunch of fucking idiots.

But they were his idiots. At any rate, he noted as Gamzee pulled out streamers and confetti from fuck who knows where, Gamzee was. And Karkat was going to make sure that everything stayed okay.

The table was mostly left plain, after a consensual agreement had been made that empty was the best it had ever looked. Karkat placed the two pans of lasagna in the middle of the (mostly) round table. He'd since changed into a more comfortable black sweater, but kept his jeans on. He looked up at the three other housemates already sitting down. Kailus was busy trying on his new set of RealWingz, which meant most of his utensils had been knocked unto the ground by the contraption's wingspan. PQ was still using his suitcase as a footrest and was sunk in his seat until all you could see were his eyes, hair, and horns. It wasn't too much of a downgrade, by Karkat's standards.

Gamzee was leaning on the table, taking full advantage of his position on the flat end to get as close to the dish as possible. Karkat bravely gave him a look as he sat down, but it didn't really matter, considering Gamzee didn't notice it anyways. He took off his gloves and cleared his throat. They all shifted in their chairs. Karkat was reminded of a bunch of restless boys at their little sister's tea party.

"So." He looked at PQ. "How was your day?"

PQ shifted in his seat. "Woke up at 2. Went down to the pub on 52nd and Park and got the great news from my cousin. Cheers to that!" They all raised whatever glass they had in from of them. Karkat had included alcohol as a drug for the dinner ("Aw, c'mon man, what type of party is this?") so they had some juice from Kailus' stash in the fridge. PQ threw his glass back like it was a shot of hard liquor.

"Yeah, and then I got 3rd place in the beer pong championship and won this sweet lanyard." He held up the prize in question with his thumb. It said 'Bad Boys Don't Tell No Lies, Don't Keep No Secrets, and Don't Sing No Karaoke"

"More words, PQ?" Kailus says this as he reaches over and pulls the vegetarian pan over to him. Almost immediately he tears the thing apart, pasta and oregano flying everywhere. It would be absolutely disgusting if Karkat hadn't seen him do it a million time before. By now it was just...normal. By Kailus standards anyway.

PQ kicks his feet back up on the suitcase, smirking.

"Well, I did meet up with this one satyr who was fine as shit, so we snuck off back here and-" Karkat discretely flicks a piece of lasagna off of his fork and it lands smeared into PQ's forehead. And by discreetly, he means he stared at PQ as he carved a massive chunk and aimed it straight for the eyes. Well, he never said he was good at aiming.

"Okay, let's talk about how you got it on with some girl in the middle of the fucking day. Everyone knows you're a fucking sex god, whoop de doo. Kailus? Got anything to add?"

"Goodtasty slurp squish. Goodbetter than normaldaily food." With that, he reached in and grabbed a good handful of the stuff. Oh Fae speak. Karkat could was more than ready to kill whoever decided that OldFae could be translated into an English-based language. And it really didn't help that he spoke super fast, only saying enough for the meaning to be understood.

Eventually, Gamzee just picked up the conversation. Karkat enjoyed it, because all of a sudden he was talking about the places he went at night or in the afternoon or those mornings right after a long session. And from what he could tell, it seemed like he went on adventures. Long walks all the way to Times Square to watch the Grand Green Clock tick from left to right. Barhopping from shady places to high-class resorts that he snuck into. Of course, circuses as well. That wasn't a surprise at all.

Suddenly, he turns to Karkat and says, "You know, you've been a lot happier lately, kitten."

Karkat shrugs."Really? That's weird." Gamzee echoes his shrug right back at him.

"Yeah, bro. Maybe you don't even need me no more, with the way you been smiling up and everywhere. Seems like you're doing just fine on your motherfucking own." Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Gamz." The troll in question raised an eyebrow and Karkat reached up to squish Gamzee's cheeks together into a seadweller face.

"Shut up, of course I still need you."

"Wow, get a room you two. The temperature just shot up to the heights. Kailus, you seeing this?" PQ said. Kailus tipped his head back and whistled hard.

Karkat felt himself bristle. Those ungrateful fucks. Before he could get up and start pushing PQ out the door, Gamzee wrapped his arm around his torso, scooting their chairs side by side. Karkat felt a gasp raise in his chest, sharp and sudden. These weren't like Kailus' stick-skinny appendages for two very important reasons.

1\. Gamzee was ridiculously fit. Even though it didn't seem like it, Karkat had seen him punch out an overly drunk offender more than once. He knew the power that laid in these arms, and now, he could feel it.

2\. These were his moirail's arms.

He sank deeper into the embrace and looked away.

"Whatever." Gamzee hugged him closer.

"What you been doing lately, brother?"

"Work, mostly. The video rentals never end at LawnRingThrasher Videos!" Karkat brought his hand into a thumbs up and smiled, just like the icon on the front of the store. He hated that thing so much. Before, he couldn't care less, but now that he spent his Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays staring at the little troll and his freakishly optimistic face, he wanted to burn every picture of it into the ground. To start.

"What about today? We didn't have nothing planned." Karkat sighed. Not that he was avoiding talk about Dave to Gamzee, but he would prefer going to sleep. Really. He leaned back and tried to describe it in as little words as possible.

"I went with Dave to the movie theater." Gamzee furrowed his brow.

"Dave? Do I know him?"

"I don't know if you remember. He went to the same high school as us."

Gamzee still looked confused as he brought a hand up rub the back of his neck. "Wait, Dave? Dave Strider?" Karkat lit up. So he did know him. Karkat nodded, just as Gamzee stood up and unceremoniously dumped him onto the ground.

"Hey, what the fuck was that for..." Karkat started but as soon as he saw Gamzee's face he got very quiet. He looked like the very picture of rage, and the arms that once seemed welcoming had become a bulging threat. Karkat got up quickly, just as Gamzee started to talk.

  
"No, no, no. Brother, you are not motherfucking going out with Dave motherfucking Strider." It wasn't yelling, but it had all the vitriol and steam of it. His stomach flipped over just as fiercely. Karkat looked away, his face squeezed together in anger.

"We're not going out! It was just a..." What did he call it? A meet-up? A visit? Whatever it was, Gamzee didn't seem to care for it.

"That's what he told you. Did it feel like a date?"

"Uh..." Gamzee took a step forward and it took all Karkat had not to take a step back.

"Then guess what. It was a mother. Fucking. Date." No. He could do this. Karkat took as deep of a breath as he could with his moirail staring down at him like that.

"And so what if it was? We're pale, numbnuts. Not fucking red."  
Gamzee shook his head. "He's bad news, Karkat. Don't hang out with that."

"That?" How could he call Dave an it? He wasn't an idiot; that pronoun was only reserved for things. Objects.

Animals. Karkat was speechless, but Gamzee wasn't done.

"He's a incubus. Do you realize what that means? Do you know what'll do to you?" He didn't wait for an answer.

"He'll rip your heart into motherfucking pieces even the mirthful messiahs, hell, I couldn't put back together again. But that's what you want."

"No! God, what the fuck Gamzee!"

"Don't motherfucking kid yourself. That's what you want. Cause you love getting consoled and pampered after you've been hurt. You just want someone to tell you it's all going to be all right. But you know what? It's not. You're a motherfucking disaster, Karkat. No one should be fucking around with you." And with that, he left. Gamzee gave a nod to Kailus and a pat on the back to PQ and walked straight out the door.

Karkat stormed into his room, a hurricane in the making. He throws everything that reminds him of Gamzee against the wall, which includes his alarm clock and his copy of Pride and Prejudice. Anything that smells like him is off onto the floor, which rules out basically everything on the bed except his pillow. He is sad and tired and angry, but most of all he is discovering a new definition of lost. He is discovering crying on the bed at two a.m. because he still can't sleep and the words Gamzee yelled are starting to sound like truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to z00logicallydubi0us @ tumblr for beta-ing this chapter and the next one


	10. In Which Karkat Goes To The Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the tenth chapter! and now that i finally calculated exactly how many chapters the plot fits in, i see i'm at the halfway point. woohoo!

Karkat makes it to class on time today, which seems like a bad joke. He can't get anything in his life right, but at least he can make it to class on time. It's the type of humor Terezi would appreciate.

As he settles in, he opens up his text to see if she's online. Unfortunately, she's got her busy sign, which basically translated into 'my laptop's on, but I am nowhere near it'. Sollux is alive and well, apparently. He opens his notebook as the professor starts lecturing and writes down the main topic. It was a good thing that he didn't have to go to this class's lectures (although they were incredibly helpful) because last time he came they were "Proper Screenwriting Formatting". But now they were all the way to the middle of the textbook. Karkat tried not to dwell on that as he clicked on Sollux's username and started typing.

CG: HEY.

TA: now that'2 2omethiing you don't 2ee everyday.

TA: we haven't talked iin forever. and iif ii'm 2ayiing that, then you know iit'2 really been a whiile.

CG: I KNOW.

CG: FUCK, HAVE I MISSED TALKING TO YOU.

TA: ehehehe, ii know. after you get a liittle ta2te iit'2 hard two let go.

TA: you okay there? iin ca2e you haven't notiiced, you havent gone on a 2iingle rant

CG: NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR TEARING DWEEBS A NEW ASSHOLE TO SHOW THEM WHERE ALL THE SHIT THAT'S COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTH SHOULD BE GOING.

CG: I THINK I’M GETTING A LITTLE SICK OF NEW SKAIA IN GENERAL.

TA: 2o you wanna know what'2 goiing on iin my 2weet liife a2 a maiinframe worker?

TA: hone2tly kk, there'2 not much.

TA: ii'm not even weariing 2hort2 riight now

CG: UGH, OKAY TMI.

CG: CAN WE PLEASE JUST CARRY ON A NORMAL CONVERSATION LIKE TWO NORMAL TROLLS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO?

TA: yeah 2ure

They talked throughout class, Karkat breaking away every once and a while to actually pay attention to what the teacher was saying. This was nice. This, he thought as the teacher dismissed them, was easy.

If he could concentrate on this, then maybe he could block out everything that had happened last night. It could turn into some half-remembered memory. Or something like that.

He walked out of the building, only to see Gamzee standing a few yards away. No, not standing. He was waiting for him. He had a bouquet of stargazer lilies in his hand. Karkat remembered braiding them into Gamzee's hair the date before they'd officially come out as moirails. His heart sunk down into his stomach, but he kept walking until he'd almost passed the troll.

"Hey." On instinct, Karkat stopped and turned, but snapped his head back as soon as he could. He hug his books to his chest.

"Shut up. I don't want to talk to you." Gamzee sighed. Karkat could hear as he walked up to him, his footsteps almost too light to be right for the situation.

"Man, Karkat. Give a brother a chance to explain himself." Explain himself? How? How could he possibly even begin when Karkat had no idea what to say next?

"You have ten seconds."

"There's a park that ain't too far from here. We can go hang out over there."

"And what if I don't wanna go?"

"Come on." Karkat shook his head.

He just wanted to go home, submit his homework online, and sleep. That was all. He really did not want to see his moirail right now. Karkat took a step forward. Then another.

"Please. Just let me explain myself. And the second you don't like where it's going, you can all up and _leave_. But you gotta let me start first."

"Fine."

The walk to the park is awkward. Karkat falls far behind Gamzee, until all he can see for sure are his horns and his bedhead. He shoved his stuff into his laptop bag, which makes it a lot heavier but much more convenient. Karkat just wants this to be over. When Gamzee points out a spot by the lake where they can sit, Karkat just nods. They sit down, and Gamzee immediately starts speaking.

"Okay, so I know Dave Strider. Guy always had all the girls flocking around him, as his kind seem to do. That's not the problem here. Well, the main problem. That kid was under Rachel." It was obvious Gamzee was waiting for some big reaction, but all Karkat could do was shrug.

"Who's Rachel?" Gamzee's eyes shot open in surprise, and then narrowed.

"No wonder you don't know anything. Can’t blame you, with the way you showed up from the middle of nowhere. Rachel’s an angel class who takes her duties motherfucking seriously. We were in high school, an’ she already had a whole street gang on her side, ready to take down any demon class who stepped out of line. Most of all, she hated mixes. That kid Dave must've done real motherfucking stupid, because she got him as a Round 1 Target on day one."

Karkat could practically hear the capitalization in his voice, but it still didn't know what it was.

"Okay, what?"

"She put an all-call out to everybody in her gang so that whenever one of them saw him, they'd beat him to an inch of his life." Karkat felt his heart speed up. What the fuck? Who would do something like that? He could see it now, Dave getting off the bus on the last stop and suddenly getting jumped by every angle by random people.

"What about the police?" Karkat tried, but the other troll only shook his head.

"Anyone who tried to get involved would become a Round 1 Target too. Better to just let the two weeks get over with. But brother, would those be a hell of a two weeks." The lump in Karkat's throat was heavy. He looked away, towards the lake.

"And I'm guessing whatever the fuck Dave did, he stopped doing it?"

"Yeah. But it don't mean he's not a Target anymore." Karkat's head swiveled back so fast he could've swore it was close to spinning around. He looked Gamzee in the eyes for the first time in the entire conversation.

They were cold and distant, but he could still tell if they were lying or not. And they weren't.

"Once a Target, always a Target. And next time, he'll be on Round 2. It won't just be him, but friends and family too. You, Karkat. And I can't let anything happen to you."

Karkat bites his lip.

"Okay, so he's made some stupid mistakes. You have too. Hey." He holds a finger about to Gamzee, whose mouth is already half open, "Don't even try to deny it. But you get over them. And Dave was in high school when he did, well, whatever he did. He's probably not going to do it again."

"High school wasn't that long ago, brother. Are you really willing to bet on that?"

Karkat focused on the ripples of the lake as a duck splashed its way to a landing. He was right about that. It had only been what, three years ago? And yet it seemed like forever. He sighed.

"I'm real sorry about what I said. You're not a disaster, Karkat." The troll turned at the sound of his name. Some time in between sitting down and now, the atmosphere had changed. It had gone from hostile to warm. From uncertain to content.

"I won't totally stop, but..." Gamzee leaned in closer.

"I'll try to hold back." His moirail split into a wide smile and Karkat could feel his heart do something he could only describe as melting in his chest. His shoulders fell and his head rose from ducked between them.

"That's my palebro."

Karkat smiles, just a little. He gets up and moves until he's behind Gamzee, with full access to the tangled mess of a mane.

"Now hand me that bouquet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and credit for the beta-ing goes straight to z00l0gicallydubi0us over at tumblr!


	11. In Which Dave Goes Job Searching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't get excited kiddies, i'm still on hiatus  
> but i managed to spit out a chapter for you guys, and i thought i might as well give it to you just in case :)  
> warning: grossly unbeta-ed

Now that he thought about it, it really wasn’t that much of a date. The closest they’d gotten was when they fought over the handrest and Karkat had managed to simultaneously pull Dave’s hair and convince the security guard that everything was fine and yeah, they totally had their tickets but he couldn’t really pull them out right now because hello they were in a pitch dark movie theater what did they expect.

When he got back to the apartment, he was pretty sold on the idea that that was the last he would ever see of Karkat Vantas. And he was fine with that. Shit happens. Sometimes the guy you have a freaky incubus crush is not the guy you get freaky with.

Dave hopped into the kitchen with only one leg of work pants on, his hand trying to swoop his hair in to something close to its usual style.  This morning was going wrong in every way he could think of.

His alarm didn’t go off because today was the day the batteries had finally given up on him. He hobbled to the shower only to find that the plumbing was (unsurprisingly) on the fritz. He spent more time glaring at the showerhead than actually having a shower. But that wasn’t all for the unsuspecting Strider.

The first pair of work pants ripped. He was entirely out of gel. To the point where he cut it open and there was still barely enough to hold on one finger. Dave couldn’t find his shades for a good fifteen minutes until he discovered them in the fridge. He had no idea how they got there.

The 7:55 bus was leaving when he got to the bus stop, so he had to chase it down for an amount of time that he’d rather not. Let’s just say, by the time he got to work, Dave was expecting the worse.

He looked down at his phone as he entered. Still nothing.

 “Hello.” He turned his head to look at Aradia, whose counter was blissfully empty. It had been a while since he’d talked to her, hadn’t? On one hand, it felt like it was just yesterday she was showing him pics of her latest fossil dig on her phone. And on the other, well, it had just been a while.

When you got caught up in succubus stuff, you really got stuck in it. Like one of those colds that keeps you sneezing long after the actual sickness is gone.

“Hey.” He made his way over to her section. Today, she’d chosen little skulls earrings that dangled on a string made out of bones. Complete with her curly black hair and her unnervingly wide smile, he could’ve sworn she was a witch. Not one of those icky ones that had warts for days, though. A modern one. Yeah, a kitschy witch with her own apartment in the boroughs of East New Skaia, who only uses organic ingredients which usually means going and digging them up herself-

“So Dave, how did your date go?”

What. Dave slid into a casual lean against the magazine rack to mask the way his body had gone rigid. How did she know about that? Why did she choose now to bring it up? And most importantly, who told it was a date? He wasn’t even able to admit to that there maybe might’ve been some sort of situation going on there but here she was saying it like it was a fact. Hell, he could feel the excitement vibrating out of her.

And it was throwing him off.

Dave slicked a hand through his pitifully dry hair and smirked.

“Oh, you know. We went out to a movie like true 1950’s teenagers. Or 1950 teenagers brought to the fine digital age of cushy movie theaters and overpriced popcorn. No more sitting in a car with pleather seats for three hours straight while one horny kid tries to get his mack on. Pssh.”

Aradia cocked her head. “That must’ve been very uncomfortable.”

Now he was on a roll. Dave stood up as he started to get into his analogy, his hands slowly getting involved.

“Super uncomfortable. Like, I bet those car seats didn’t even _recline_. And if you actually wanted to _watch_ the movie-“he swung his arms from left to right like an umpire. “Too bad, so sad, try again in another sixty years.”

She nodded her head slowly and they fell into a comfortable silence. See? Dave thought. There was nothing to worry about. Just chilling with his coworker. Before he could turn to ask her what she did with her weekend, Aradia interrupted him.  
“So I guess it didn’t go well.”

“What didn’t go well?”

“The date.” There goes that word again.

Dave took a deep breath. “What? Of course it went well. I mean, what do you define as well? If the answer is you can stand next to each other without wanting to beat the other guy’s face in, then yeah. Our date went super well. Give that thing a cape and start calling it the Wellness Wonder, cause man that was not bad. But like, if you define well as, actual correspondence and follow-up dates, then maybe it didn’t go so well.”

Aradia’s face went the way of the :/ emoticon. “I think-“

“I mean, we did trade phone numbers. And we texted before the actual date, so he knows this is my number. But it’s been total radio silence over here. Like surprise! The Bermuda Triangle has just relocated and its new location is me.”

He leaned back against the rack, although fell might be a better descriptor at this point. Was he actually out of breath? Um, hell yeah he was. Running after the bus + ranting = more exercise than he needed for the rest of the week. Aradia waited until he was less reliant on Era Magazine to keep upright.  She reached over to offer him a pat on the shoulder.

“Dave, I’m sure there’s a reason why he hasn’t texted you yet. You need to be patient.”

He huffed under his breath. “Yeah, maybe.”

There was a click of a door. Normally, the two of them wouldn’t have heard it, but since there were only five people at most in the building, it was audible. Following that was a couple of sharp footsteps. They were growing in sound. Dave looked up just in time to see John’s dad emerge from an aisle of discount printers.

“David? In my office, please.”

Dave’s head dropped into his spread hands. “Oh god no.”

“What now?”  
“I have no idea what to tell him.”

She probably had no idea what he was talking about. There’s not really a right way to bring up to your coworker that you were being considered for a promotion, and you were iffy on taking it. Aradia lowered her shoulders and nodded, like she’d heard it all before. After a minute, she nodded out her solution.

“Tell him the truth.”

-          -

 “Welcome, David. Take a seat.” Dave took the seat closet to the window. Not that there was much of an option. When your office the size of two janitor’s closets mushed together, you had to compromise. This meant that while Dave could sit in the chair, he could forget about leg space.

Wait, this wasn’t why he was here. Dave looked up to Mr. Egbert, who had been waiting for him to stop fidgeting.

“Have you taken some thought to the job offer?”

 “Yes.”

John’s dad adjusted in his seat.“Oh? And what have you-“

“Actually no. I haven’t.” Fuck. Here he goes, spouting out the truth like a broken faucet.

“You see. I’ve always wanted to be a DJ. That was my goal and I made sure that no matter what I did, I stayed towards that goal. But this offer is in the exact opposite direction. Like, it’s a literally night or day option here.” He brought his arm up to scratch the back of his neck as Mr. Egbert sighed. On his desk, he shuffled some of the papers around. Dave noticed as a pen to the side was capped. _Fuck_.  
“So you’re saying no.” He even sounded resigned.

“No.” Dave had to fix this, and he had to do it quick. “That’s not what I’m saying.” Mr., Egbert rose an eyebrow, which was well-deserved. Dave would be raising an eyebrow too if he was on the other side of this conversation. He sounded confused, which actually wouldn’t be too far from the mark? He raked his fingers through his hair.

“Give me until Friday to see if I can find something. If I can, then I won’t take it. But if I can’t, or something happens where this is just the obvious choice, then. Yeah.”

There was a moment of silence. John’s dad was thinking about it. _He was actually considering this?_

A solemn nod. “Alright.” Dave let out the air he didn’t know he was holding. Aradia’s plan had actually worked. Damn, he would kiss her as soon as he got out of here if he was so horribly gay.

Dave stood up and shook Mr. Egbert’s hand. “Thanks so much, man.” A small smile bloomed on his boss’s face.

“Until Friday.” No wonder John had turned out so friendly. His role model was basically a younger version of Santa.

Now it was time to start searching.

But despite the fact that he couldn’t throw a rock out his window without hitting some sort of drinking establishment, there was nothing. The newspapers had nothing but odd jobs and one-time gigs. Basically, more parties. The internet wasn’t much help either. You see, the thing about the Internet is that everyone uses it. Like, _everyone_.

One offer had actually seemed possible, until he read the fine text. $30 per night? And the place said it was five miles away from Times Square, but Google Maps said a different story. Not to mention how he was expected to “perform bartending and waitressing services when adequate staff is absent”. Hey, he might look fly as hell in an apron, but if he wasn’t getting paid, then no dice. And all the ladies would cry at the thought of such a wasted opportunity.

So that left one thing. Job hunting. After his last online failure, Dave grabbed his jacket, his resume, and five dollars in change and walked out to the nearest bus stop. Whenever he spotted a bar or club with a Hiring sign up, he got off at the next stop and walked in.

A good idea in theory, but probably not the best idea. Especially since his resume was just a few sample tracks of his music and a word document of Hella Jeff that he forgot to delete.

Dave was getting ready to turn back when the bus dropped him off by the riverside. The same place where he’d had his first…his thing with Karkat. He walked up to the movie theater, where they were now showing The Breakfast Club.

Why hadn’t he texted him? Dave thought that they had fun together. Maybe he should make the first move. He slid his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it.

Right when he clicked Karkat’s name, a loud horn made him twitch. Okay, maybe he jumped a little.

Dave turned around to see one of those party boats sailing towards the dock. The lights were just starting to turn on; a sharp rainbow neon against the calming waves. A basic beat pumped out from the ship, and Dave could see people looking out over the water. One of them almost fell in. But that’s not what made Dave’s jaw drop.

It was the DJ Wanted sign that was on the ship captain’s window.

He could’ve cried.

The captain was pretty cool. The DJ in Dave died a little when she said she’d been forced to run the same music every single night. Since her last kid had walked out on her without any warning, and she ‘swure as hell didn’t know how to drop a beat’, she had to make do.

“Swo I’ll let you do a teswt run tonight, if that’s okay with you. I’m loswing cuswtomers over this.” The troll said, swishing her s as she spoke. Dave nodded and saved his fist pumps for the bathroom. This was something. He could deal with this.

He came back later with his Mac and external hard drive, both of them filled with music he’d been aching to play. There was the music he played for parties in West A, and then there was club music. Party music had to be popular, remixed but not so far that it was unrecognizable. Nothing could be too loud or too quiet. Club music was practically made to be loud. It thumped and pounded its beat into the floor. One was obviously much better than the other.

Luckily, they had a set of turntables there, so he didn’t have to bring his own. They actually had everything set up. All they needed was someone to come in and use it for its purpose. Dave hooked his stuff up, took “Summer Baby” off the speakers, and replaced it with his own remix.

You could see the club go-ers turn to each other and smile. Girls dragged each other onto the dance floor, joking and shoving. People put down their phones and threw their hands up into the air. Slowly, the bar began to empty out as patrons started to fill up the dance floor.

Now _this_ was a club. Dave popped on a couple more songs and sat back to watch the orchestrated mayhem.

“Thought that was your mix.” Dave’s eyes widened behind his shades. He uncrossed his legs hastily, almost tipping himself out of the chair in the process. The onlooker was not amused.

“Uh, hey.”

“Bet you didn’t expect to see me here.” The naiad flipped his long head of hair, and Dave was reminded of why he’d gone after him in the first place. Dave had thought his hair was long before, but now it was around his knees. It was ridiculous. Dave bit his lip and turned back to his turntables.

“That’s true. I totally did not expect to see you here.”

The naiad moved closer in to the room. Dave tried his best to ignore the guy as he paced around the room. Every once and a while, he’d open the bathroom at the back or drop down to look under the turntables. Finally, they gave up and sighed.“So, where are the whores?”

Dave gave them a side-eye they probably couldn’t see. “Are you kidding me.”

His ex-boyfriend shrugged, collapsing against the wall. “C’mon, they must be around here somewhere. Or are you hiding them in the crowd? There’s no way you made it all the way out here without at least one of ‘em.”

“I mean, I’ve moved on but-“ He gestured to himself before sighing again and shaking his head.

“Poor kids.”

Dave tried his best not to grit his teeth. Well, not audibly anyways. “Well shit. Looks like you caught me. Guess I better tell them to come out now , cause invisible side chick hide and seek is over.” He gave a hard push to the turntables.

The naiad laughed. “Damn, and you really still talk like that? Fuck. These awful glasses too. I mean, seriously, don’t you just get tired?”

“Tired of you? Sure. All the time.” Okay, Dave had to admit that was weak. But this guy was distracting him from what he really needed to be doing, which was playing some sick beats. He felt his blood begin to heat up under his skin.

“My goddess, and your whole duality thing. At first I thought it was hot you know, because they always say incs and succs are good lays, but wow. Heh, remember when you told me that it was your inc side that kept you from fucking? Oh wait, and that time you literally brought another girl to your apartment on the day I was supposed to move in. Strider classic.”

Fingernails, toes, and other extremities. Then the heat spread up around his hands and through his collarbone, straight into his heart. Give it a few more seconds and he’d be hotter than an overcooked microwave burrito. He knew the routine like clockwork. The only thing Dave couldn’t figure out why it was going so slowly.

He could push it down, if he really wanted to. But that would be assuming he didn’t want to put this brat in his place.

Dave grabbed the pulsing heat, and pushed.

“And yet you’re still here.” His mouth sprung open before he knew what he was saying.

“Excuse me?”

Dave (was it really Dave?) grabbed the naiad by the shoulder, and brought his ear close to Dave’s mouth, like he was whispering a confession. “Hey, tell me something. Are the rumors true?”

“What?” He was trying to sound defiant but his ex-boyfriend’s voice came out breathy instead.

“That incs are good lays. I’m always on the other side so I’d never know. But I hit that a couple times before we split ways so tell me. Is that always why you’re finding your way back to me? Cause you can’t find anything better?” That came with a hand that slipped under the naiad’s arm and across his lower back. It splayed open and pressed him into Dave. He could feel the hitch in his breath easily.

“Did I ruin you for everyone else, Shreyi? Do you wake up unsatisfied and aching for more?” Both hands, rough and callused, slipped under his ex-boyfriend’s shirt with ease. Dave moved from next to Shreyi’s ear so he could look the piece of shit straight in the eyes. He could tell the naiad was starting to get dizzy in lust, and if Dave let go, he’d probably drop to the floor.

Dave looked at him from over his shades.

“Are you still unsatisfied?”

“D-Dave…”

Suddenly, Dave shoved Shreyi away. As predicted, he stumbled away before falling straight down. His vial of freshwater made an audible clink against the floor.

“But hey. You’ve moved on right?”

“Fuck you.” Now the naiad was the one stuttering. His hair was mercilessly tangled in his chains, and it seemed like the robe was two sizes too big. Even his sneer looked like a kid imitating what they thought anger looked like. A joke.

Dave let his heat drain out as he turned back to his turntables.

“Heh. You wish.”

He ended up leaving early. Even after Shreyi had gotten himself together and made his way out, Dave could still feel the heat in his heart. It was waiting for its next victim, and Dave was not prepared to let it take out his potential new boss (Trust him: boss-employee relationships never work out).

Maybe becoming a DJ just wasn’t meant to be. It seemed like wherever he went, some shit from the past found its way to resurface.

He’d had enough.

Dave called Mr. Egbert first thing in the morning.

“Hello?”

“Hello David. I presume you’ve made your decision?” Unlike Dave, he didn’t seem tired at all. John’s dad actually seemed kind of refreshed. You know, in that fatherly way that leaves people sounding like they just took a draw of a cigar. Or they go to some serious Business Job ™ in a serious Business Company ™ and they just got home from work. Yeah.

What did he ask again? Right, the job.

“Um, yeah. Turns out finding a good DJ spot is really hard, and I’m more of a freelance artist anyway, so you know. I’ll take the job.”

The rest of the phone call was a breeze. Well, kind of. John’s dad went over a few more regulations with him and what to expect, along with changes to uniform, and who would’ve guessed it? A cubicle in a small, OfficeMan office.

In the next town over.

“Where did you say it was again?” Dave looked around. The apartment wasn’t much (it was barely anything) but it was his. He’d worked hard to get it and even harder to keep it. That futon over there? That was his. The water bill? Video games permanently out the window.

“Lohac. It is about ten miles away from the store so a longer drive to be sure.”

“I don’t have a car. Not enough money.” He was on the verge of getting a headache. Dave could feel it, growing from his temples and coming to a point right in the middle of his forehead.

“If money is an issue, rest assured that this job should take care of it. The salary is adjusted to a bit higher than the minimum wage, about $16 an hour. How does that sound?”

A lot better than $9, that’s for sure. So Dave told him that he’d take the job and stopped thinking about the specifics. Like what it meant to move to a whole new town that he’d never heard of before. Or discovering a way to move all of his stuff to a new apartment. Finding a new apartment.

It didn’t bother him. Or no, it did, but-

Listen. Striders were untamable beasts that roamed wherever the weather was nice, the beats were fly, and the cash was flowing. Would Bro blink at the sound of a new town? Nope, and neither would he. Yup.

Dave hung up with his bravado fully intact, more or less. Well, while he was feeling brave… He opened up his messages and started texting.

TG: i know you’ve got work tomorrow

TG: but i’m pretty sure those guys have to let you out for lunch or break or whatever

TG: so

TG: do you maybe want to meet up

And to sweeten the deal:

TG: my treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there's anything not plot-congruent or just plain weird, tell me down below and i'll do my best to fix it


	12. In Which Dave Receives a Challenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys it's been a good while (as in, several months) since i've last updated and i think it'd be a good time to let you know that i'm not like super motivated about this?? but i do love it still and i'd never orphan it  
> i refuse to let it die basically that's what i'm saying  
> so i'm going to try my best to finish this up so that you guys don't have to wait for it anymore  
> for everyone who still checks this, thank you so much! i hope you're still reading and you'll stick around to at least see how this ends

He wasn’t making eye contact with Dave.

Karkat had come into the restaurant with his eyes downward, only looking up to say hello and slide into his seat. Any of Dave’s attempts at communication were shrugged off with one word answers. It was like seeing a smaller, quieter version of Karkat. Or one that was incredibly pissed off. Dave didn’t know which one he was scared of more.

“So, how’s work?”

“What classes are you taking?”

“Do anything cool lately?”

All decent attempts at getting the conversation started. But at each one, Karkat shrugged and kept looking into the bowl of salad he ordered. Yeah, he should’ve waited until Karkat texted him back. He thought that maybe Karkat was shy about these sort of things, you know- going out on dates without really dating. But this wasn’t shyness; this was plain old evasiveness. Dave kept himself from huffing; instead, he crossed his arms and looked out into the street.

The rest of the lunch continued in that sort of awkward silence until the waiter came back, asking about the bill. It had been thirty minutes of silence.

“Actually, could you come back in a second?” Now Karkat looked up, but it was too late. The waiter was already walking away. Karkat pinned his piercing eyes on Dave. Dave knew he should’ve backed off at that point, but it was better he let this out now, then later. If he would even have the chance later.

“So, did you take an oath or something?”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “What?” He sounded fine, the right amount of irritable, just like he did at the movies. So the problem wasn't personal, like Dave was hoping. It was with him.

Dave picked up the clean knife from Karkat’s side and spun it between his fingers. “You know, something that gives you to a hundred words a year or face the unyielding wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This totally adds up, how did I not see it before?”

Karkat spreads his lips into a grimace. Oh, Dave’s got him now. “First of all, I have no idea what the fuck that is, and no, I don’t want to know what a fucking Flying Spaghetti Monster is. Two, I am not under some dumb oath. Does it look like I entered some pan-lacking cult, shit-for-brains?”

Dave leaned back, just a little. Now this was the Karkat that he’d invited to lunch and might have the smallest, tiniest, itty-bitty crush on. He smirked. “You know, you said first and then two.”

“Really? Out of everything I said that’s what you focus-“

“No, don’t worry about it. It’s cute.” Karkat’s face lit up red. He was reaching the level of tomato when he covered his face in a half-hearted facepalm.

“Oh my god. Are you kidding me right now?”

Okay. For the first time since they’d been eating, Dave felt like he was actually getting closer to his goal. Wherever that waiter went, they’d better not come back. And the same went for his incubus, who could (and would) take this from a date to a one night stand. Dave took a breath and pressed on.

“You know what? You’re right. You’re not cute. You’re downright attractive.”

The troll peeked out from underneath his palm. “I thought this was supposed to be lunch.”

“We can always make it more than that.” Karkat broke eye contact and Dave quickly reversed.

“Unless you’re not interested.”

“Why now?” Karkat stated. He said it like it was a crossroads between something good between them and, well…

Because I’m moving, he could say. And if I had to choose one person, right now, to spend the rest of my time with, it would be you.

“Gotta act fast before I lose this cutie to anyone else. Limited-time offer and there’s only one left. Take too long and a middle-aged mom with a fourteen page Christmas list is gonna beat me to it. This is not going to be the Keurig Disaster of 2012 all over again.” Karkat crossed his arms and shook his head like a disappointed mother, despite the small smile on his face. In Dave’s books, that was a score.

“Dave, I think you got off-track there. And Keurig Disaster?”

Dave shrugged in response. “All in due time, my liege. Maybe I’ll tell you about it next time we go out.”

Karkat looked down at his salad, which was practicaly wilted from all the battering it had gone through.

“Mmm.” When the troll looked up again, he was unsettled to the point of adjusting himself in his chair. Dave had a bad feeling about this.

“I guess it’s time I tell you why I came. It was actually because, well.”

An audible exhale, and then “You’re a Target, aren’t you?”

Dave didn’t know what to say. How did Karkat find out about that? How did anyone know about that these days? It had been so long ago, and he’d kept it from everyone he knew he’d be talking to past high school. Karkat talked to those same people, so why did he, no, how could he-

Karkat dropped the fork in his bowl. “I knew it.”  
“I mean, that was all just high school right? Listen, I haven’t heard from that girl-“

“Rachel.” Shit, he even knew her name.

“Her. Haven’t heard from her in years. And none of her gang either.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re not out there, Dave. It means you managed to keep your head low enough to not get their attention. No college, a full-time job at an office supplies store; it’s not exactly celebrity work. You know that. But someone like you, you attract attention.”

Dave scoffed. “Weird. The way you’re going on, I could’ve sworn you’d say some _thing_ instead of someone. Nice save.”

This was going so badly. He should stop and maybe apologize. But somehow, even with Karkat looking so worried, he couldn’t get himself to stop. Instead, he pressed his lips into a flat line. Karkat stood up, shaking his head.

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“Because my life is shit and I don’t need you to make it any shittier!” Karkat yelled. He got up, and walked out of the restaurant.

Fuck. What was he doing? Dave got up and found the waiter imputing bills into the cash register. Quickly, he palmed through his wallet for two twenties and handed them to the waiter. He probably overpaid, but man, did he not have the time.

“Sorry, keep the change.” Dave mumbled before taking off.

He found Karkat not too far down the road. The lemon wasn’t opening, despite the troll’s frantic hand movements.

“I’ll prove it to you.” Dave’s voice made Karkat look up, just as the door clicked.

He wasn’t a bad person and he never was. Not to say he was perfect. But this Target stuff was just not right.

Karkat sighed. “Well, good luck with that.” He climbed into the car and in a few minutes, he’d taken off. He didn’t bother looking back at Dave, but Dave didn’t mind. He was too busy planning his next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: everytime i get the notification that someone's given kudos, my heart lifts just a little bit more.  
> and comments? 80% the reason for a new chapter.


	13. In Which Karkat Is Thoroughly Romanaced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty ty ty for the comments! it was a good thing i asked for them, bc whenever i needed the push i had you guys right there! in my inbox! urging me on! it was great  
> long chapter so enjoy

It started with flowers.

Karkat was at his job, checking in the newly returned DVD’s from the box. The repetitive motion kept him from thinking about things that he really didn’t want to think about, like Dave. And college.

But also Dave. His medication, which was getting a fuck lot more expensive than a couple of red pills should be. His roommates. Dave. The mess of blankets and essays he affectionately called his room. Dave’s challenge, so technically not Dave which meant he was totally not repeating himself-

“Dude.” Karkat whipped his head towards his coworker. Oh God, he hadn’t been thinking out loud again, had he? Because he had enough problems without adding ridicule at work to the list. The man, a gnome with pointed ears and a beard that only reached his chest, cocked his head out the door, towards the front desk. He then left without a word.

“Well, at least he didn’t hear me.”

“I did. I’ve learned to ignore you. Come. Look.” Karkat grumbled and followed the gnome out of the circulation room.

Karkat saw why he’d been brought out as soon as he came out from behind the wall.

In simple terms, it was a bouquet. In layman’s terms, it was a hot mess.

Daisies and sunflowers were twisted together at the stem and they sprung from every corner. A few lilies here and there brought a burst of white, but not enough to keep it from being a mess of color. The dominant flower was roses, of course. Karkat was sure the whole thing was bigger than his head.

“Oh my god.” He took a step closer, and then a step back. What was he supposed to do with this?

He turned to look at his coworker. The gnome held up a card between two untamed fingers. The card had a small picture of some cartoon, but the rest of it was scratched out in black. The message was written in white ink.

_This is only the beginning.  Spectacularly, Dave_

Karkat tried and failed to keep back a snarl. “Are you fucking kidding me. This is not how you show goodwill, dickweed!”

“Dude, are those yours?”

Karkat grabbed what he could of the vase and held it to his chest.

“No, it just- you can go over, if you would, fuck, mind your own, fuck, don’t you have something?”

The gnome slapped his thigh and hobbled off the back room, laughing. Karkat could hear his laughter through the walls. This day was determined to be embarrassing, wasn’t it?

He was still holding the vase. Karkat backed up quickly, efficiently tipping the vase off of the counter and sending the whole display crashing to the floor.

The gifts did continue, because as it turned out, Dave simply didn’t know where to stop.

When he went to drive back to his shitty apartment, he noticed it only took one pull of the car door for it to open. That, and the engine started on the first try. No sputters or headache-inducing shaking either. Two options: there was a Good Samaritan around who broke into people’s cars, or it was Dave breaking into his car. Karkat was pretty sure it was illegal either way.

The next day, his car was washed, with the message _Good color. Didn’t know it was that bright. Dave._

There were stuffed animals left at his laundromat at the machine that he always used, flowers pinned along the doorway to his house, and a plastic tiara hanging on his left side mirror.

_For my special little princess. Dave._

He ran over it with his car, backed up, and ran over it again.

* * *

Gamzee popped his head through the door to Karkat’s room.

“Karkat buddy, something came in for you.”

His moirail had more or less been taking up all of his time recently. Karkat’s daily schedule was back to the usual: Gamzee, school, work, Gamzee, nap, Gamzee, study, sleep, and repeat. And that didn’t include the times he was called out from the grocery store or a secret meeting with Kanaya to drive him somewhere. Sometimes the neighborhood was kind of sketchy, like South Skaia. Even the river didn’t reach down that far.

But their relationship was good, right now. He could usually walk in the door and expect everything to be fine. Sometimes even a hug if he was in the mood. With this in mind, Karkat followed Gamzee out of his room.

“Okay? Don’t know why you’d be going through my stuff, but fine. What is it?”

Gamzee chuckled. “You don’t know? Well, when you’ve got this left on the motherfuckin doorstep…”

He held up a bar of chocolate about two feet long, with a sloppy signature on the wrapper. It started as a D before deteriorating into loose scribbles. Karkat felt his hands tingle and start to sweat; only a little.

“A motherfucker can’t help but wonder.” He was still smiling, but it was icy as shit. Karkat didn’t have to be standing close to feel the waves of rage rolling off of Gamzee. He had to defuse the situation.

“Oh.” Nice one. Let’s try for some substance this time.

 “That’s just, a coworker! Yeah, you wouldn’t believe the compliments I get at work. I tell them I’m taken but those rotting grubheads can’t tell the difference between taken and single.”

Gamzee rolled his neck and shoulders until they cracked. The sound seemed to echo throughout the living room. “Maybe I should go over and teach them the difference.”

“No! I mean, not necessary.” Karkat reached up on his toes to grab the chocolate bar from Gamzee. It took a couple of tugs, but the bar came out. The hand it was in closed into a fist.

The smaller troll tried a weak laugh. “I’ll make sure I set them straight this time.”

Gamzee was still smiling, although his lips had come together. “You mean like you did last time?”

It turned out that there were two things in this world that could make him go speechless. One was Dave. And the other was this Gamzee, this side of Gamzee.

It was quiet, and then: “You know, bro, I really feel like you’re not committing to this relationship.”

“What.”

“You’re all up and accepting all these gifts, going out all the time, leaving me all alone here. It’s like you don’t even wanna be moirails.”

Normally, he would let Gamzee’s logic stand, but right now he could only imagine how his old self would tear holes the size of Jupiter in it. They had roommates coming in and out all the time, including Kailus who was still here. Gamzee went out _all the time_. He should know, considering that he practically chauffeurs him everywhere he goes.

The room was heavy with words unspoken, and the larger troll turned for the front door.

“I do!” But. He couldn’t be that person anymore. At least, not here. He grabbed Gamzee’s arm and felt it stiffen in his hand.

“I want to be moirails. I promise, I’ll tell him to stop. And I’ll give back all of the stuff! I’ll make it so clear even a guy with his head up his ass could understand. And,”

Karkat bit his lip. Kanaya was going to tear him a new one for this.

“There’s a national holiday coming up soon, so I guess I could spend the day in with you.”

 He was going to go out shopping with Kanaya and Rose for Founders’ Day sale at the mall. Though now that he thought about it, he didn’t really need anything. And he had to study anyways. There was too much going on.

Nope, she wouldn’t buy any of those excuses. Maybe he just wouldn’t show up.

Gamzee’s arm relaxed, and he turned around and smiled. A good one this time, and Karkat gave out a breath of relief.

“That’s my Karkat. You look stressed. Wanna take a quickie in the pile?”

Karkat tried to keep himself from blushing, but it was inevitable when Gamzee said it like that. Casually, like they took “quickies” all the time. Also, it was a concupiscent way of saying sex, so Karkat was pretty sure he wasn’t using it right. Still, warm cuddles from arms that wrapped all the way around you were nice no matter how you said them.

* * *

Every future gift that came to the house was picked up before Gamzee could find them, and thrown away.

* * *

At this point, Karkat was getting pretty sick of the goddamn notes popping out of every goddamn corner. This one came in one of the DVD cases. He had to give it up to him. Somehow, he got it to him instead of some other coworker, during his shift, and while he was on disk duty. He really should not be getting used to this. Karkat blew a bubble with his gum as he opened the note.

The bubble popped when he read what was on it.

It was nothing more than an address, the time 6 pm, and the words “ _Don’t be late_ ” in a ridiculous cursive font.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Are you going?” Karkat looked over his shoulder at the gnome, whose beard was ever so gently resting on Karkat’s shoulder. It smelled like kale.

“Hmm, I dunno, too bad it’s not a fucking gram worth of your fucking business!”

He did end up going.

Karkat left Gamzee with the excuse of a study group that he absolutely had to go to, even heading towards campus for a good five minutes before turning around. The apartment wasn’t too far from his own, which explained how Dave stalked/observed/no, fuck it, stalked him so easily. He parked his car in the guest spot and grabbed the elevator before it closed.

Of course, there was a sign on the inside that said “20 FT Closer, Kitkat.” If Dave was aiming to surprise him, it was too late. Karkat had faced so much embarrassment over the past two weeks that he literally could not be embarrassed anymore. He even smiled at it.

But, you know, only a little.

His smile definitely did not grow when he opened the door to what he assumed was Dave’s apartment. The place was lit by candles, which he soon discovered also meant a bunch of different scents. The ones by the door were mainly gingerbread, but as he walked in, it got a little more complicated. They all mingled well together to create something that smelled very winter-cabin-in-the-pine-forest-y.

The rose petals on the ground led up to the kitchen island, where he fine gourmet but classic meal of cheese and crackers sat. One glass filled with wine stood next to the platter. The other glass was in Dave’s hand.

He was leaning against the wall, of course, in that unmistakably cool-kid position. This time, though, it was less cool and more hot, no pun intended. What? Dave happened to look even better than usual in candlelight.

Part of Karkat wondered if that was the incubus in him. That same part of him wondered what the incubus in him was thinking right now.

He had to clear his throat (and mind) before speaking. “C’mon. This is a bit much even for a hopelessly romantic nitwit like you. Don’t you have any sense of restraint?”

Dave shrugged. He took the second wine glass from the table and handed it to Karkat. “Not when it comes to my favorite troll.”

“I would tell you to stop being cheesy but I don’t think it’s remotely possible for you anymore. You see a bouquet of flowers and the next thing you know you’ve bought twenty of them and pack of grade-A fireworks so that your beloved can witness the very fires of your passion when they find your gift. You are the cheese master, it is you.”

“Smooth.” They both took a sip, and Karkat instantly recognized as the discount wine from Floor-Stor. A man of good taste.

They settled down on the crappy couch Dave had set up in front of his shitty TV. Dave’s words, not his. In Karkat’s opinion, it wasn’t that bad if he ignored the spring digging into his back. All the candles in the apartment also kept the room a subtle kind of warm. The wine helped too. Dave had brought the bottle, and between the two of them, they were slowly finishing it off.

“So. I think I’ve proven that I’m not dangerous.”

Karkat scoffed. “How? All you did was dump a whole of bunch of cutesy stuff everywhere. Stuff that my coworker mercilessly teased me for, so thank you for that.”

Mmm, mercilessly might be a bit of a strong word. All they really did was laugh. But it felt merciless, so that was what he said, and he meant what he said. One hundred percent!

Wow, this wine was strong.

“Yeah, stuff that took forever to set up. You can’t break into a car in broad daylight without calling in a few favors. Now, I’ve got to figure out what mix to play at a thirteen year old girl’s birthday party, and they already told me that I have to play Colbie Caillat.”

Dave sighed and Karkat didn’t waste a second punching him, appalled.

“Hey. Don’t knock Colbie Caillat.”

“Okay, okay, I’ve got an idea. I won’t knock Colbie if you try this out.”

Dave motioned to himself with both arms. He closed one eye in a wink. The troll made sure to roll his eyes to keep himself from actually checking him out. Not that he hadn’t already. Fuck.

“That.”

“Yup. All this Strider goodness in one cheesy, super buff package.”

“I…”

Okay. Karkat took another sip to make it seem like he was thinking instead of quietly freaking out. So. He was attracted to Dave; that he could admit to himself. And he’d hooked up with losers that he’d liked less. At least he could carry out a relatively decent conversation with Dave, relative on whether or not an argument counted as decent in your book. He was nice. This, right here? Was nice.

And he liked Karkat back. If this was anyone else, he would’ve said yes already. Hell, he probably would be the one asking.

So why did he feel like if he said yes, he would be signing up for an eternity with Dave? Like if they broke up, they’d still end up orbiting each other, unable to escape?

Karkat knew himself, and he knew that he’d never recover if that happened.

He lied.

“I’m just not that into you.”

Dave blinked. “Did you just quote a romcom at me? Wait, no. Did you quote a romcom title at me?”

Karkat felt like the air had rushed back into the room. He took a few seconds to rearrange his facial expression (it had been stuck on ‘hmmm’ for a while now) and fell back into step.

“I could say yes and fester in the unrelenting pain that it would cause to fully absorb the ramifications of what just fell out of my mouth. Or, we could make a deal to both forget the last five minutes of this dinner.”

Of course, Karkat had turned away to reach for more crackers. What can he say? He did come here for dinner, after all. So he didn’t catch Dave's face when he said,

“No.”

Karkat’s heart skipped a beat, and the whole rhythm was off.

“What do you mean?”

Dave leaned in close. His face came into full focus, and Karkat could see the freckles on his cheeks. They were normally so small he couldn’t see them, but now they were up close and personal. Then there was the tan that his sunglasses left on his nose, and a bump from where the bone was probably broken and reset, and a small black dot on the inside of his ear. He smelled, well, he smelled good enough for Karkat to feel like maybe he should back up a little.

“I’m not going to forget this because it makes it easier. It wasn’t that bad. No, actually it was pretty bad.”

He laughed, a small chuckle in the deep of his throat. Karkat could hear it fine, though. He wanted to hear it louder.

“But until I have to, I’m not giving up on you.”

Whoa, he was really close all of a sudden. Sharing the same breaths close. It was intoxicating, and Karkat was intoxicated enough to not give a fuck about eternity and orbits and any of that shit. He threaded his fingers through Dave’s hair and pulled him close enough to kiss. He spoke in a low, soft voice he didn’t even know he had.

“Then don’t.”

Dave moved first. He was at the edge of overwhelming, kissing him deep and fast until Karkat felt his back touch the couch cushions. Karkat wrapped his hands around whatever he could get a hold of. He slid his hands down Dave’s back. One went under Dave’s shirt, and the other explored some unfamiliar territory. Karkat moaned and Dave moaned in turn. They could’ve stayed like that for hours.

Until Karkat’s phone rang.

They didn’t separate immediately; it was more of a slow and hazy realization. Karkat opened his eyes to find himself staring in blown red ones that were wide in surprise. He laughed a little when he noticed Dave’s hair had successfully been fucked up, but then again, who was he to talk? Karkat leaned up and slowly looked over to the counter. There was the little cockblock. He picked up his phone and checked for the caller.

It was Gamzee. Karkat put the phone back down and stretched a-

Gamzee! If he saw, if he _knew_ …

Karkat leapt from the couch, wide-eyed. Before Dave could say anything, he was out of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you've heard of wal-mart, now get ready for: floor-stor  
> also- i can't write mak eout sc ene s


	14. In Which Karkat is Kindly Informed By His Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long chapter, and so is the next one, but the one after that is split into two b/c it really is too long

Karkat had been studying for the past two days. In the beginning, it had been an easy way to get away from everything, but he was actually starting to enjoy it. And now that Dave stopped plaguing his workplace with gifts, working wasn’t half bad either. If he planned everything out right, he could fill his whole day with swiping and memorizing and no thinking about his future

Huh. That, Karkat thought as he flipped a page, was the saddest thing he’d ever heard. This was coming from a guy who read dollar-store romance novels like they were the daily news.

The egg-timer on his desk went off and Karkat looked up and took out his phone. There’d been three messages while he was studying, but he’d hit a good groove between study time and fuck around time. It’d been maybe ten minutes since his phone first vibrated.

TA: kk

TA: karkat

TA: diick iif you’re not onliine ju2t log off.

Karkat rolled his eyes and started texting back.

CG: IM HERE. JUST BUSY TRYING TO GET AN ACTUAL FUCKING EDUCATION.

TA: that’2 why they made a bu2y 2tatu2.

TA: you know, 2o ii don’t wa2te my tiime tryiing two talk you when you’re not goiing two re2pond.

CG: WELL, I’M ONLINE NOW, AREN’T I? STOP RIDING MY BULGE ABOUT IT ALREADY.

TA: alriight, who’2 the lucky guy.

CG: W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THERE IS NO GUY. YOU KNOW THAT’S IT’S BEEN ME AND GAMZEE FOR A WHILE NOW.

TA: and iit’2 a horriible combiinatiion, but whatever.

TA: ii’ve known you for year2. ii 2tuck wiith you through that really awkward emo pha2e, and that tiime you thought iit wa2 a good iidea two go after john.

CG: WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN EVER SO LONG AS YOU SHALL LIVE OR ELSE. OR ELSE, SOLLUX.

TA: iit’2 ok, ii’ve made my poiint.

TA: when you 2tart makiing blatantly 2exual metaphor2 liike that, iit mean2 you’ve found a red mate.

TA: who ii2 iit?

CG: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE FOUND SOMEONE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SCREWED IT UP FOREVER. BUT EITHER WAY YOU CAN’T TELL ANYONE. NOT EVEN ARADIA.

TA: explaiin.

Karkat would never admit it, but he was glad Sollux asked. The issue had been stewing over in the back of his mind.

CG: SO BASICALLY I CAN NEVER GO OVER THERE AGAIN BECAUSE I NOT ONLY FUCKED UP BY TELLING HIM I DIDN’T LIKE HIM, BUT THEN I MADE OUT WITH HIM ON HIS COUCH WHICH IS THE FUCKING DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF MIXED SIGNALS.

TA: dude.

TA: you 2hould’ve hiit that.

CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I LITERALLY LAID OUT FOR YOU, STEP BY STEP, WHY I CAN’T! AT LEAST, NOT ANYMORE.

TA: iif that’2 what you wanna beliieve, then fiine.

TA: iif iit wa2 me, ii’d already have hiim back.

CG: HAHA, VERY FUNNY. I’M SURE DAVE JERKS OFF TO THE THOUGHT OF A DOUBLE HORNED TROLL WITH CROOKED TEETH AND A THING FOR TURBOCHARGED SUPERCOMPUTERS EVERY NIGHT.

TA: 2ee? there goe2 another one

CG: AAAARDGDJBFJKL

Karkat threw down his phone and shoved himself back into his studies. He would later discover that by bouncing against the floor, his phone had cracked.

\- - -

Every moirallegiance is different. Theirs was less words and more comfort. Karkat hadn’t managed to get Gamzee to completely give up the horns, but at least they were smaller and came with velvet bulbs. The rest of it was blankets and pillows Karkat bought just for this pile: purple and red and fluffy enough to hide all the other stuff. Gamzee’s arm was tight around his waist as they looked into each other’s eyes, silently understanding everything about each other, including the things they hid from others. Open.

“Want some tea?” Low tones. Karkat tried to not think about the last time he used that voice.

“Yeah, that’d sure be nice.”

The arm around him squeezed tight once and then let go. Karkat slowly got up and shuffled to the kitchen.

He filled the kettle up with water from the tap, oddly satisfied. The afterglow was like carrying a blanket wherever you went, or like finding your favorite but rare flavor at an ice cream store, or napping in the middle of the day. Karkat felt like himself, or at least, the him he’d come to know throughout the years. The him that existed to be by Gamzee.

Hmm. That was less endearing than it used to be.

The water was beginning to boil when his phone rung. Karkat sighed as he picked up. He knew this was coming. He signed up for it when he canceled Founders Day by leaving a voice message on Kanaya’s phone, even when the recording said “Do not leave a message and call me back later when we can have a discussion.”

Karkat could hear the usual sounds of the shopping mall already. The two of them exchanged hellos, and the stiffness in her voice was obvious. There was the steady hum of Rose’s voice as she announced that she was going to try on clothes. He heard Kanaya give an okay, which let him know that she was about to start on him.

“So you’re not coming shopping with us? Karkat, I have to say I’m very disappointed with you.”

He’d expected annoyed, or maybe angry. But disappointed? The last time he checked, it wasn’t illegal to back off on an outing. Karkat used this as fuel for his first excuse.

“Why? You were the main supporter of me going to college, even if it was just one class. You can’t be mad when that class gets in the way.”

Was, was that a snort? No way, there was no way that Kanaya Maryam, fashion designer of the gods, could-

“You know very well that it’s not class getting in the way. Oh, Rose, that looks gorgeous. Try it with the black jacket.” Her tone changed the instant that Rose came out, but Karkat was fuming. All of his good feelings melted away underneath his anger. They were replaced with something solid and unapologetically protective. It was he could do to keep himself from snarling into the phone at his best friend.

“I hope to Her Imperious Condescension and all her minions that you’re not trying to imply Gamzee is _in the way_. Because I would never begin to raise that fucking question about you and Rose. I like to think that I respect you enough to make your own educated decisions on who and who not to date.”

He could practically hear Kanaya pursing her lips.

“I respect you, Karkat. However, you have been known to make some rash decisions, and refuse to listen to a word anyone says afterward. Do you recall the goth phase from tenth grade-“

Karkat held the phone away from his ears. “No no no no no no no.”

No. Just, fuck that noise. Of all the mistakes, this had to be the one that she remembered. He waited until he’d fixed the tea together before bringing the phone back to listening distance.

“-and the hair came out green instead of blond, but you insisted it was better that way, so-“

“Okay Kanaya! I think you’ve officially brought up enough awful high school memories to keep my traumatized until I get my PhD in self-preservation.”

“Kanny, are you talking to Karkat?”

Great, and now here comes Rose. The word “traumatized” must’ve brought her over. Although he doesn’t know much about her, he does know that she would hand over her beating heart for the chance to psychoanalyze. And here he was, unwilling but unable to leave.

“Yes, dear. He’s explaining to me why he couldn’t go out with us today.”

“Really? This should be good. What’s his excuse?”

Here we go.

“College is too busy for him.” Karkat suddenly wished he’d given her something that actually sounded reputable. Rose undoubtedly knew about his whole situation, and now she could diagnose him with some long-winded disease that would be faster to describe then say the name of.

The tea was done. Gamzee would be expecting him back soon, and while he never said anything, Karkat didn’t like to keep him waiting.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to call bullshit.”

“Kanaya!” Karkat whisper-called. Let’s be honest: if he hadn’t, the two of them would’ve started their own discussion.

“Hold on, let me finish up this call and we can continue.”

“I’m sure I can expect an interesting account on that conversation later.” Rose’s voice was slowly fading as she talked, going back into her dressing room.

“Karkat.”

“Yes, Kanaya?”

There was a short pause before she continued. “I don’t mean to offend you. But I really cannot stand to see you like this any longer. Yes, Gamzee is your moirail. I understand that relationship takes time and care to keep going, and I admire how much you’ve put into it. But there is a point where it stops being moirallegiance and starts being something else.”

Karkat didn’t know what to think. Was this what the disappointment was about? No, their relationship wasn’t always smooth sailing; in fact, he’d be lucky if he could get a day like today once a week. Yes, Gamzee sometimes drove him crazy trying to keep up with all his demands and needs. But that was all relationships. What else could it be?

Kanaya cleared her throat, and that’s how Karkat knew there was more.

“What is it? Don’t bother trying to pretend that it’s nothing.”

“Sollux contacted me.”

His groan was so loud she could probably hear it at the mall. Gamz too, shit.

Karkat lowered his voice for his next complaint. “Why do all my fucking friends know each other?”

“Dave is…an interesting person. But mostly good. You should’ve “hit that”.”

Karkat put the phone on speakerphone, brought the volume low, placed it on the table, and facepalmed. “Oh my god, not you too.”

This was what happened when you had too many friends. People start passing around sayings that really only belong in one person’s mouth.

“I’m simply sharing my opinion. Next time, try not to cancel an outing without a good reason.”

Karkat lifted up the phone to say goodbye, but she had already hung up.

\- - -

This time, he was in the middle of research for an essay when the video call icon popped up in the corner. Karkat was fully prepared to ignore it, until he saw the username. He shoved the potato chip wrappers off of his desk and double-clicked the icon. It expanded into a window, and in the middle of it was Terezi.

“Long time no see, Karkles!” She sounded a little different; her voice was deeper. Her look was kind of similar, only her glasses were sharper, somehow. They were basically vintage cat-eye glasses. But that smile that exposed every single one of her teeth, yeah, that was the same. And Karkat had missed it.

“Wow. Long time no fucking see. Where have you been?”

She shrugged, although he could see a canoe hiked up on the wall behind her. “Eh, it’s not really important. Let’s talk about you, and how you’re still with _that_ guy.”

He could hear the hate steaming from that one word. Karkat wondered how potent it would’ve been if she’d actually said his name. Either way, he supposed it was once again time to set things straight.

“Please tell me you are not going to start up with this hate boner for Gamzee. I thought we agreed as a group that it was not appealing.”

Terezi smiled even wider. “Pssh. Karkat, when I have a hate boner, you’ll know it.”

“You see that? That thing on the ground, maybe black and kinda thin? That’s the line you crossed. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with it?”

“I’m blind.” Yeah, her deadpan was exactly the same too. Good to know.

Karkat rolled his eyes as he leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands. “Yeah right. As long as your tongue isn’t busy, you can see as well as anyone.”

Which was true. Trolls contain extra sensory receptors that are kept dormant just in case one of their senses are ruined. From that point, it’s anyone’s guess which one sense will take on the jobs of both. In Terezi’s case, her tongue could now be used to taste and see. Which meant anything new Karkat bought when she came to visit was no longer safe.

She kissed her teeth as she pursed her lips. “Sollux was right; those are getting bad.”

Karkat sighed. “Yeah.”

“Lucky that I’m here to help you sort this out, huh?” She ran off-screen for a moment, and came back with a giant neon green poster. It was decorated in stickers and Sharpie’s of different colors. Some of the red letters were smudged, and Karkat didn’t have to guess why.

“I’ve created a three-step plan to get you back in business.”

Karkat’s eyes narrowed as he read the steps. “Terezi.”

“Yeeesss?”

“That just says dump Gamzee three times. With increasing exclamation marks.”

She threw her hands to her mouth in fake shock, effectively dropping the poster. “Oh, really? Must be important or something.”

Enough. He’d had enough of them meddling in his life. Karkat

“Why can’t you guys just accept that this is my decision? If I wanna stay with Gamzee until the day I that I fall dead from a rage-induced heart attack, it’s my decision! It’s not up for grabs for you to decide, because it’s not.  Your. Life.”

Terezi held her hands up in surrender, the smile gone from her face. “Alright, alright. Have a heart attack later if that’s what you want.” He could see her shirt now. It was black with white text quoting the Constitution, if he wasn’t mistaken. And of course, her Libra sign was on the sleeve of her shirt. It was white too.

There was a lamp on the bedside table?

He was officially running out of things to distract himself from the awkward silence.

“Are you happy, Karkat?” Terezi broke it, lowering her hands to cross them at her chest.

Karkat didn’t waste time replying. “Yes.”

“Good. We’re your friends, you know. We’re not trying to sabotage your happiness, or whatever you think we’re doing. So stop frowning.”

Karkat furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m not frowning.”

Terezi shook her head, wagging her finger. Suddenly, she turned back to the camera with a smile. She dropped her fist into an open palm. “You’re frowning like that time you dyed your hair in tenth grade and-“

“Bzzzt. Already went down memory lane with everyone else today, and I am not about to go on another bumpy-ass ride again.”

She shrugged, like Karkat knew she would.

“Your loss. Hey, how’s your blood thing?”

“Knight of Blood Syndrome. The thing that has literally plagued me since the birth. The reason that I had moved to over ten cities by the time I was eight. You just called it a “blood thing”.”

“But I’m not wrong.”

Karkat worked hard to keep himself from rolling his eyes. “I’m fine. It’s just expensive as fuck.”

“Life is expensive, Karkat. Because everything has a price.”

Mmm, she wasn’t wrong there.

“Also break up with Gamzee already, he’s a total shit.”

Karkat gave in, and made sure to add in a facepalm for extra measure. “Thank you Terezi for your much-needed advice.”

Terezi smiled.

\- - -

Karkat never thought he’d walk back into this place again. Luckily, if everything went well, he wouldn’t have to be here for long. He avoided all the “can I help you” employees and walked straight back to Customer Service.

And there he was. Feet up on the counter and flipping through an IKEA catalogue. Wait, no, it was a Walmart magazine inside of an IKEA, no- was that another IKEA catalogue inside of the magazine, which was inside the catalogue? What the absolute hell was the point?

Dave looked up, and Karkat quickly remembered why he was here.

“So, I’ve been thinking.”

“You’re not going to say hey, first? Poor manners bro.” He brought down his shades just enough to raise his eyebrows. As if Karkat hadn’t seen his eyes already.

Karkat cleared his throat and pressed on.

“I wanna say…sur, sorry, fuck, about what happened. You know. Last week?”

Understanding blossomed on Dave’s face. He straightened out the bulk of papers he was holding and sunk back into his chair. “Oh. Don’t worry about it.”

Karkat was speechless. Out of all the things he’d imagined, okay, he did imagine this. But he never thought it’d come true. He didn’t know what to say, or how to start.

“What?” Dave looked up. Great, now something with actual weight to it.

“You’re not mad? Or frustrated? What happened to that whole “I won’t give up on you” spiel?”

“I’m not. Just have to figure out what I’m going to do before I move.”

Yeah, that didn’t exactly help Karkat from being unfrozen. If anything, it only helped his heart rate to speed up more. The troll decided that he’d probably misheard it for “lose”. Or “hoof”. Something actually rational. Something that didn’t mean he’d completely lost his chance before he could even decide.

Just in case…

“You’re moving?”

Dave nodded, slowly sinking even father into his chair. “Yup. There’s a sweet job opportunity that I’d have to be hopped up on Faygo not to take. Like, seriously out of it. So bad that Obama himself would come down and make an executive order that I get my ass over to Lohac ASAP.”

Oh. Now the IKEA nonsense made sense. He might need some new furniture for his apartment. See, not everything was going crazy. Karkat looked down at Dave, who was now so low that he could only see the top of his blond hair over the magazines.

“So what the fuck do we do now?”

“About what?”

Karkat pointed at Dave, and then himself. “About this.”

Dave sat up so suddenly his chair almost tipped over. The papers on his hands were dropped on the desk, and as he pushed his loose glasses back against his face, Karkat realized something. Dave had thought that he didn’t stand a chance anymore, and now that he did, he was practically jumping at the chance.

“You mean us?”

Karkat looked away, and then down. Us, like they were a couple. It wasn’t completely false, because if they started dating, wouldn’t they be? Still, he had to muster the courage to look into Dave’s eye(glasse)s and nod.

“Us. Cool. Well, there’s a carnival that’s setting up at the church down the street from your house. We could meet up there tomorrow night.” Karkat didn’t need to ask how he knew it was across from his house. He was pretty sure the still-living flowers that he kept on his windowsill could attest to that.

“Like, a date.”

Dave tipped his sunglasses all the way this time, exposing a red-hot wink. “Exactly like a date.”

He was going against what Gamzee said. If he ever found out, he could lose his moirail. And once Dave moved away once and for all, he’d have no one.

_Life is expensive, Karkat. Because everything has a price._

“Sure. Let’s go to the carnival.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one day i will get the heart to make it look like a proper pesterlog  
> until that day this will have to do


	15. In Which Dave Goes On a Date: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter ended up being too long, so i had to chop it in half, which makes it two chapters now that i've had to chop ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Uuuuuuggghghhh.

In his life, Dave had figured out that there were different types of pain. There was the type of pain you got from a paper cut, which you knew wasn’t a big deal but stung like hell anyways. Then there was regular pain; the type that made you shut your eyes and try to think of happier times. He was pretty familiar with this one, see: most of high school.

And the last one was that dull, throbbing pain that was native to headaches and pretty much anytime your nose was stuffed with snot. It didn’t hurt so much as it drained the life out of you. Dave could only recall feeling it twice in his life.

The first time was when he got his first cold, which made sense. Bro had handed him a bowl of chicken soup, dumped a bunch of blankets on him, and left Lil Cal to watch over him. Dave ate a spoonful before he realized that there were gamepieces in the shape of stairs sprinkled inside. He tried to rest, and he woke up with his mattress on top of the air conditioning unit. Which, of course, was on the roof. Apparently that was his one warning to never be off guard.

The second time was right now.

Dave didn’t want to move, but he was starting to wonder where he was. He kept a picture of this cool dinosaur bone taped to his ceiling, and lo and behold, it wasn’t there. Besides, he didn’t have a bed.

He tried to sit up, and he was abruptly brought back down. Dave narrowed his eyebrows and looked up to see what was holding back.

He was handcuffed. To the bedpost.

“What.” Dave tried jerking his hands harder, but that did nothing. Well, this was officially weird. Like grade-A “call 911 we have another Roswell on our hands” weird. He knew his incubus was into some weird stuff, but this was a little out of the ordinary. It was usually the other person in handcuffs, and there should be a few hickeys on his neck if they hadn’t faded away yet…

He looked down and saw the blood on his shirt. Dave knew it was his because it was bright red, almost to the point of being called neon. And just in case he wasn’t sure, the blood trail led up to his mouth, where he realized that his jaw actually kind of hurt? No, it definitely hurt, he just wasn’t paying attention. Dave tried to move his hand towards his mouth, and was abruptly reminded of his position.

Right.

So it wasn’t sex (or he hoped not). Wow, Dave really hoped not. He’d never let himself face Karkat again. Unless…

Dave looked to the side and saw her. Blonde hair, soft face, and closed eyes that he knew hid a ridiculously baby blue.  Rachel.

“Shit shit shit what the hell?” He kicked his feet wildly as he tried to get farther away from her, and it only sped up when he noticed that she was starting to wake up. What? No, how the hell did they end up in the same bed? There was no way he would let this happen. Fuck, he’d rather chop his own dick and the dick of everyone in the vicinity, from the angsty teens to the crotchety old man on the fourth floor, than even get close to her, let along making a move, or _touching_ her, or, even-

Dave’s stomach flipped as the memories from last night came back to him. It wasn’t as bad as he was thinking. He still grimaced as he stopped thrashing. Yeah, he knew exactly how this happened.

\- - -

He had no idea how this happened.

They met up at the front of the park, with him wearing a scarf he’d gotten for Christmas and the one non-ripped pair of pants in his closet. Karkat had on a black turtleneck that was obviously not his, if the way he kept tugging at his sleeves was anything to go by. Dave thought he looked adorable. Later, the troll would make it known that he “didn’t look half bad either.”

They agreed to start from the back of the carnival and make their way to the rides in the front. The line for the swings was short, since the ride had so many seats, and next thing they knew they were on the ride.

Dave remembered how Karkat thought the swings actually stayed near the ground. Apparently, the last time he’d been to one of these was when he was a kid, and his parents kept him to the merry-go-round. What a loss. Now he had to make sure that Karkat got to make up for missing time.

The troll was understandably freaked out when they started lifting off the ground, but after a few rotations, he’d calmed down to look around. Dave managed to rope him into a game of I Spy. Karkat seemed to lean towards choosing rides but Dave was practically a FBI agent when it came to this game. It all came to peeking out of the corner of his glasses to spot those really tiny items.

It must’ve happened when they were getting out. Because he knew that he got out of his seat, and then turned back to help out Karkat. He’d already shrugged off the ride operator, but he still hadn’t managed to get himself out. So Dave helped him. And when he was done, he grabbed Karkat’s hand and helped him out of the seat.

Wait, now that he thought of it, he guess he never actually let go of Karkat’s hand. Huh.

“What do you want to go on next?” Dave asked. How far could he push this thing? Would Karkat release him if he squeezed a little tighter? Or maybe if he swung their hands like they’d hopped right out of the Sound of Music? He looked over to Karkat, who was pointedly not looking in his direction. Even though it was evening, he could still see that the troll’s face was flushed.

“Uh. Well. I’m sure there’s an attraction around that’s not too pannumbingly dumb.” Karkat shrugged.

“I’m sorry there weren’t enough quadratic equations for you. Maybe next time you can stand on the ground and calculate the speed that the swings are going in relation to the Sun with the given that Little Boy Billy snuck three apples onto the ride on seats perpendicular to each other. And all the apples weigh forty-five pounds because genetics.” Dave watched as his date (his date, _his_ date; no matter how he said it, he couldn’t believe it he’d roped this grumpy doof into going out with him) scrunched up his face the more he spoke.

“Sure. And next time you can try going around with screeching out ‘I can see your house from here!’ every two earthshattering seconds.”

Dave couldn’t help it. He waggled his eyebrows. “You liked it, didn’t you Karkat?”

“Fuck off to the highest degree of fuckitude, where only pretentious hipsters and overly aggressive soccer moms can reside without spontaneously combusting.”

Dave snorted a little, and then louder, enough for Karkat to turn and look at him. He tried to stop and get himself together, but he couldn’t stop imagining a bunch of hipsters and soccer moms teaming up with a 90’s anime battle scene sequence. Them, against Karkat “Don’t Call Me Karkles” Vantas. Or Karkat “Vantass” Vantas. His special attack is Endless Rant, and he never backed away from a fight.

Eventually, his laughter died down into giggles, and then puffs of air. It took him a minute to catch his breath. That was the sucky thing about being cool; whenever he laughed, he laughed until he was about to run out of air. When he stood up again, Karkat was still staring at him, his face a mix between confusion and annoyance.

Well, it was worth it. Dave looked around. Karkat needed to taste something with a little more adrenaline.

“Let’s go on that one.” It was one of those ones with octopus arms that had pods of four chairs that spiraled around each other, and then swung all the arms in a circle. It was pretty much a classic, and he would sell his turntables before Karkat left this place without riding it.

Turned out Karkat didn’t feel the same way. He spent fifteen minutes arguing on how that was pretty much a death trap on wheels, another fifteen watching it the ride run without magically combusting or “aggressively catapulting one of the chairs into paradox space”, and a grand total of five seconds assuring Dave that he was no pissbaby and yes, he wanted to go on it and no, peer pressure was not a factor what the actual fuck Dave.

The entire time they were in line, he watched the ride. Karkat squeezed his hand a couple of times and Dave returned the favor, which was totally not satisfying at all. Nope.

When it was their turn, Karkat stopped the person who was checking their harnesses.

“Is this safe?” He let whatever stubborn mask he’d been holding for something worried. See, it was moments like this Dave wished he knew how to comfort someone else. I mean, he knew what they did on TV, but he couldn’t reach Karkat’s back from where he was.

The woman lowered her cap and mumbled “Safe enough.”

Karkat turned towards him for reassurance. How could he tell him that everything would be fine and he was going to love it and she was probably too tired or apathetic to say, yes, it’s as safe as they thought the Titanic was before it sailed.

Dave gave him a thumbs up.

He caught a glimpse of the pure annoyance on Karkat’s face just before the ride started. Then he couldn’t see much of anything except blurs of color and the occasional clear shot of the festival when he concentrated. He tried to spot Karkat, but staying at any one place made him dizzy. He’d have to wait until they were off to pass judgement. At least he couldn’t hear any crying; only the usual screams and cheers of a ride in progress.

Dave was not feeling good when they got off. He knew on some level that it was because he ate leftover macaroni and cheese before he left, but he was more than ready to blame Obama. Thanks Obama.

He found a bench and took a seat while Karkat kept standing. He’d liked the ride, which made it all worth it. Dave’s stomach flipped again and he tried to nonchalantly curl his arm around his stomach. Honestly, sunglasses were great. Look how dim and calm they made everything. Plus, he could look like he was paying attention when he was actually keeping himself from throwing up.

“That was actually a lot more fun than I was prepared to give it credit for.”

“Mm.”

Karkat was getting into it now, bringing his hands up to talk. “I mean, the whole getting strapped in thing was kind of sketchy. No ride should require that many restraints to keep you safe, and if it does, then rip up the blueprint and try to make something better next time. Oh yeah, and then we started swirling? But we were also moving in a circle, so I should feel super dizzy but I don’t somehow.”

“Mmhmm.” Dave mumbled, though it almost sounded like a moan.

“Instead it was a lot of fun? Either that, or I’ve been shocked so far out of my thinkpan I can’t think straight. I think we should go again before the line gets too long. Or, we could, if you want to.”

“Hey, assgrab, Dave, are you listening to me?”

Karkat was looking straight at him, which mean it was time to get up. Dave pushed himself off the bench. Alright, what was something slow and easy and romantic enough to get Karkat to give up his velocity-filled dreams? He found his answer in about a second.

“Yeah. Let’s go on that.”

Karkat followed his finger. His eyes widened before he looked down and shoved his hands in his pocket.

“The Ferris wheel. Yeah, I guess that could be okay.” Perfect.

On the way there, Dave splurged and bought cotton candy for the both of them. He got pink and blue, and Karkat took yellow. They spent the walk there in a comfortable silence as Karkat ate (he took a couple bites, but sugar wasn’t his thing), which was weird, because normally Dave would come up with something to fill the space. It was like they canceled out each other’s rambling. Or the cotton candy was just that good. Dave could live with either conclusion.

Still. He was having fun.

The Ferris wheel’s line was a little longer, so they spent the time people watching. Dave had no idea there were so many tourists who came. He’d expected them to be down in Times Square or in Sburb Park, not at a small carnival. Karkat kindly reminded him that there was no living person who get lost in a park for four hours when they could spin around for two hours instead. Dave was arguing his point (uh, but have you seen the lighting in Sburb?) when they reached the front of the line.

They climbed into the booth once it stopped. The disgruntled operator stroked his beard before reciting the instructions.

“Hands and legs in. No swinging the seat. And please, _please_ , no sex. Have a good ride.” He slammed the door closed, and within minutes, the ride started moving again. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. There was almost too much to laugh about.

“And he said please twice-“

“The way he said it after two totally normal things-“

They laughed and by the time they stopped, they were pretty high up. It wasn’t a massive wheel, but it was big enough that Dave could see the street that Karkat’s apartment was on. He tried to look at Karkat without being too obvious about it. The troll’s hair actually seemed curlier today, but today it seemed styled. All the curls were big and fluffy, and they framed his face perfectly. Speaking of his face, it wasn’t bad. Strong jaw structure and cheeks that never lost all of their chub. And those lips, wow. Dave had kissed a lot of lips and he could tell from here that those were prime real estate. Hell, he had kissed those lips and he knew how quality they were.

Well, if he wanted any chance at them, Dave had to get this conversation going. He knew just the thing.

“So. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” Karkat looked away from the window and it hit Dave again how close they were. The booth was like a sphere, with the seats organized in a circle, save for the opening. The two of them were sitting right next to each other. The booth was big enough to stand in, but that was about it.

Karkat ran a hand through his hair. “I know it’s probably shit in real life, but.”

Here was his chance. Dave leaned forward and put his hand on Karkat’s left shoulder, the one closest to him. Karkat rolled his eyes, but he didn’t brush Dave off. Instead he took a deep breath and spurted.

“Ivealwaywanidtogotap’ris.”

“What?”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Paris, okay?” Okay. That was cool with him.

“Dave, if that is a smirk on your face, I swear to all that is holy and vengeful and ready to shove a sideways potato up your ass…”

Yeah, he couldn’t help it. He’d thought what he was going to say was cheesy, but Karkat got him beat. Date bit down on his smirk to keep it from spreading into a smile.

“Nope totally straight here.”

“Oh really? Then where would you go?” Karkat wasn’t buying it, huh? Time to bring out the big guns.

Dave lowered his glasses so that the troll could see his eyes and slipped his hand to the other shoulder, smoothly bringing Karkat closer. He let his incubus rise a little, enough to wear he could feel Karkat’s breathing slow. He waited until he was sure that his voice had dropped a few bars before speaking.

“Right here.”

Karkat rolled his eyes, but Dave could feel the shivers that ran down his date’s back. Dave 1, Karkat 0. “Dave, that was almost _too_ cheesy. You know that?”

_No such thing as too cheesy, only too bland_ , Dave thought.

“Only for you, babe.” He said, and that was pretty much when Karkat kissed him.

The operator sighs disappointedly when he sees them, and Dave doesn’t blame him. Karkat’s hair was back to its usual bedhead self (his fault) and he looked roughly the color of a boiled lobster (also his fault). Dave didn’t escape unscathed either. He actually tripped on his way out of the booth, which is roughly the Strider equivalent of being three times over the legal limit (all Karkat, specifically his hands against his back and the way they held on to him or traveled up and down and under, fuck).

Karkat grabbed him before he could crash into anything, and they left, holding hands again. For now, they were just walking around.

This was good. Really good. He’d even managed to keep the incubus in him from taking full control. It was getting better. He looked at Karkat, who was happily consuming the rest of Dave’s cotton candy.

I mean, he didn’t like to think about the future. Life is life, and stressing about what you can and can’t’ control is going to end up with you burying your head in the sand like an inaccurate ostrich.

But. Dave could see himself doing this, with Karkat, for a long time. It sounded sappy as hell and it might just be the hormones from earlier getting to him. Plus, they’d only known each other for a month, not including high school since they didn’t talk. Even though he knew this, there was still a feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him that this was right.

He was still thinking about it when Karkat got a text. Dave stopped and waited for him to answer.

\- - -

Karkat didn’t understand. He’d been so careful. And yet, there it was:

TC: I SeE YoU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imagine: karkat showing dave how to comfort people, accidentally touching the topic of bro, and then comforting dave


	16. In Which Dave Goes On A Date: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be published on valentines but i was dragged to a party that ran later than expected, and then i had things to do today, which results in this date. happy reading!  
> many many props to blooleaflet for always leaving such a sweet comment on my chapters! they really touch my heart and make me all warm and fuzzy ;0

“Oh.”

Karkat’s eyes were blown wide, like he’d just seen a ghost. Any warm blush that had come to his skin was quickly fading away. Dave couldn’t help but be a little worried. He put his hands in his pockets to seem casual and not like he was prying into Karkat’s life.

“What’s up?”

Karkat looked up to his phone, and then down again. When Dave took a step towards him, the troll looked straight into Dave’s eyes, and it struck him exactly how scared he looked. Not to mention that Karkat had dropped the cotton candy he was holding so that he could use the hand to claw anxiously at the back of his neck. “I have to leave. Like, right. Right now. Fuck.”

“Don’t worry about it. Go get done whatever you gotta get done.” He’d been waiting for this moment for a while now, but he’d give it up if he had to. Besides, this meant that somewhere out there, the guy would be kicking ass and taking names, which was always worth it. The ends justify the means, said Will Smith in “Hitch” probably.

Karkat groaned and brought the forehand to his head. Dave briefly imagined removing his hand and kissing the spot underneath, before he tossed the thought away for the gayest thing he’d thought all day.

“I feel like such a steaming mound of fresh batshit. Whenever we meet up, I’m the one leaving.”

Dave shrugged, smirking. “You always come back for another slice of the Strider though. You’re stuck in the net of attraction. Keep looking around for the exit, but there is none; it’s only the Penrose steps from here.”

His date rolled his eyes. “Okay. Bad feeling over. You’re the imbecile in this relationship, it’s you, and I must’ve been clinically insane to forget.”

Dave didn’t say anything. He simply held out his fist in what would’ve been the fist bump known to man if, you know, Karkat hadn’t snorted and pushed it away. Instead, the troll reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. For once in his life, Dave was speechless. He could only stand there as Karkat said goodbye and left the fairgrounds for whatever was going on.

Yup, worth it.

Dave was feeling pretty great as he walked home. Honestly, he would’ve been fine with just hand-holding, but it seemed like Fate had other plans. Dave kept his smile to a minimum as he disappeared into a shortcut. It was an alleyway between two buildings; the same ones he’d used when he was giving gifts to Karkat. Why drive five city blocks when you could walk straight through two? Did he look like he was made out of money? Wait, maybe that was the wrong question, considering he was wearing a handwoven, 100% cashmere scarf a la Rose Lalonde.

Karkat really had looked like he was about to jump out of his skin when they left. A frown slid onto Dave’s face as he remembered. He hoped everything was okay with him. The troll could probably take care of whatever it was anyways, but still. He’d text him tomorrow and see if he couldn’t cheer him up.

“Hey. Wanna come out with us?” Dave looked up ahead. There were a bunch of guys in low-rise pants and cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. Dave was actually kind of amazed he didn’t notice the smoke earlier. The one talking was looking straight at him, so his red eyes were pretty obvious. That, and the fact that his hair was white, not the soft pseudo-blonde that Dave had. A full incubus.

He couldn’t stop himself from shrugging even though the only thing he wanted to do was run away. Or walk past them, or whatever would get him as far away from them as possible. He knew incubi, considering he was mostly one himself. This was the basic invitation to go out looking for one night stands. Strength in numbers and all that. Dave knew, because he’d used it before.

He was with Karkat now; he was done with this shit. And yet, here was his incubus whispering infectiously into his mind.

_He won’t mind. He’s busy. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him._

“Depends. What are you doin-?” Dave bit down on his words, but it was too late. Most of it had already slipped out. Dave curled his hands into fists. He couldn’t take this anymore. He had to end this now, before he did something he couldn’t take back. Ignoring whatever the incubus was saying in response, Dave grabbed the burning coals that seemed to take place of his heart.

He tried thinking about a cold shower with water straight from the Artic, but his incubus just laughed. Being locked in a freezer. Being locked outside during the coldest blizzard of the year. No ice. Heh, look at that, he was funny even when he was trying to be serious. Karkat would probably disagree.

Wait. Something changed. Dave took another look at the group to make sure they were still discussing where to go, before trying again. He had an idea.

He thought about Karkat, and the way he’d looked when they were on that Ferris Wheel. There, right there! Instead of turning off, it was more like it dulled. It wasn’t overpowering or completely gone. It was…part of him? It felt entirely new: out of place, but also right. Like he’d been completing a puzzle without half of the pieces this whole time and now he was seeing the big picture.

Dave kept thinking about him. He had a lot of fodder from the last few hours. And when he had enough control, he caught the attention of the incubus.

“No. You guys can go.” The group of guys didn’t waste any time. Within moments they’d disappeared back into the door on the side of a building. He didn’t have to be a genius to guess where that led into. He stood there for a while, a little in shock. There was no way Karkat had been the answer the whole time. They hadn’t even talked to each other in high school. Did this mean that if they had, if Dave had taken himself out of the popularity game for one second to talk to the troll sitting next to an overaged senior, he would have been in control a long time ago?

The door opened again. Dave was sure he was hallucinating until she came up to him and held him to the wall by his throat. Just like old times. She was staring straight into his eyes, like she could see through his sunglasses. Her skin was still soft, even though, you know, it was choking him. He tried to pry her hands away, but they stayed firm. She could probably feel how hot he was through her hands, confirming that he had been acting up again. Fuck.

“Wait, it’s not what you think.”

Rachel glared. “It always is.” And then her hand came up and punched him once in the jaw and twice into darkness.

\- - -

By the time he was back to himself, Rachel had already climbed out of bed. She was drinking a water bottle that was of course glass and not plastic because that’d be just awful for the environment aka God’s Green Earth, wouldn’t it? Dave reminded himself to buy some plastic water bottles.

“Uh.” He started. She turned her head towards him, not halting her drinking at all. Okay, because that wasn’t weird at all. Dave took it as a sign to continue.

“So what you thought you saw? Totally not what it looked like at all and-” Rachel finished drinking and dropped the bottle against the bedside table with a clunk, effectively cutting him off mid-babble. He didn’t know whether to thank her or flip her off.

She lowered her head and stared straight at him. “Are you in full control, hybrid?”

Hybrid, now that was a new one. He was expecting something like ‘demon’ or ‘inbred monster’. Or wait, his personal favorite from Rachel, ‘inhuman possessor of a previously human embryo’. It flew in the face of every monsterology and human anatomy study ever, and he kinda loved in a fucked-up way.

“First of all, it’s Strider.”

And full control, huh? Well, it’s not like he was going anywhere fast. Dave closed his eyes and tried to reach for the same heat he’d felt yesterday. It took him a while but soon he felt it in his fingertips and toes, felt his blood seem to turn into a warm, slow-moving, molten lava. His eyes sprung open as time seemed slow around him. Dave could analyze people so much better like this, so much _easier_. Their intentions were practically written on their faces.

And Rachel’s said that she was going to stab him if he didn’t cool it. Fair enough.

Dave saw what he’d been doing wrong; he’d been pushing his incubus down, when he should’ve been fine-tuning it so that he had an equal balance. This way, he was in control. Like Rose was. Bleh, okay, not cool anymore.

Still, he’d more than deserved the right to celebrate.

“And second, yeah. Totally in control. Yasssss.”

Rachel, the cold bitch that she is, didn’t even smile. Instead, she opened the drawer and pulled out a comb that was so beautiful Dave wanted to cry a little. It was gleaming silver, with ocean and fish decals. He was hoping that one of them might catch on her hair, but no, it slipped through like butter. Fucking perfect angels and their perfect fucking hair.

Dave adjusted himself, as he remembered there was another thing he needed to ask her before she disappeared, hopefully for good.

He decided to speak fast so she couldn’t cut him off. “I’ll be moving out of New Skaia soon, you know, taking my sick as hel- shell, sick as shell beats somewhere else. When I do, will I be off the List?” Rachel gave a small chuckle, though Dave honestly could not see what was funny.

“Yes. That can be arranged.”

For the first time, she came towards him. She was up on the bed, and then her head and hands went out of his range of vision. There was click and a tinkle, and Dave felt his hands fall down by his sides. Ugh, they were going to cramp for days, he knew that for sure. He sat up and stretched out, which cause Rachel to immediately hop back. Before she touched anything else, she pulled out a capsule he remembered well. Rachel dabbed the holy water onto her palms until she had enough to rub her hands in.

Ah, those were the good old days. That was the one good thing about this move: he’d finally be able to get away from this, once and for all.

“By the time I come back, you should be gone.” Rachel announced. She walked out of the door, and Dave somehow felt like he’d come full circle.

Then he realized he’d lost a tooth. Maybe not exactly full circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to kudos and leave a comment!  
> props also to FadingArchive for a such a long beautiful comment last chapter! the fact that you feel that way means that i have done my job! which is great


	17. In Which Karkat Didn't Order Any Pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this was also posted in the last chapter's notes)  
> i was supposed to have the next chapter done two (maybe even three?) weeks ago, but then i was whisked away to louisiana where i spent a lot of time being a tourist and close to no time at the place i was staying at, which means no laptop time. then the next week my calculus teacher came up with the fantastic idea of daily quizzes, the content of which we have (not had, because this is still currently in place) one day to study for. independently.  
> needless to say, i had no time to work on this. it's only now that school is slowing down that i have time to pick up my hobbies again.  
> tl;dr: i finished the chapter after an entirely unintentional hiatus

As he rounded onto his street, Karkat noticed that the lights were off in the apartment. They were never off.

“Fuck.” He jumped out of his car and barely managed to lock it, his mind rushing with possibilities. Maybe Gamzee had just been joking around, or he was high. The keys slipped through his clammy hands and Karkat dropped down to pick them up. His hands totally weren’t shaking because he was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

He stood in front of the elevators for a few seconds before deciding to jog up the stairs. It wasn’t his fault that they were moving too slow. He jogged all the way up to the door, but he couldn’t get himself to turn the doorknob. What if everything had gone wrong? Or Gamzee had snapped? He wasn’t sure if he was ready to see how bad of a moirail he’d been.

Karkat took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Everything was gone.

Well, he thought as he stumbled over an abandoned water gun, not everything. But the couch that they bought together was gone. That, along with the coffee table, the rug, and two chairs from the other table. The fridge was practically emptied out as well. Gamzee’s room looked like nobody had been in there since they’d bought it.

Karkat was speechless. He thought he’d be distraught or angry or _something_. You know, that his moirail would actually be here when he came home. Instead, Karkat kept walking around the apartment and noting the things missing. A sick feeling hung in his stomach the longer he walked, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. A poster he’d gotten for his birthday. The horn pile. It was on about the third rotation that he noticed there’d been a note tacked to one of Gamzee’s walls.

_you broke your promise, so don’t act shocked that I broke mine._

The paper slipped out of his hands. They weren’t steady enough to hold them anyways. Nothing about this was steady. They weren’t, he wasn’t – good. He wasn’t good enough.

Karkat’s knees buckled, and he found himself sobbing into his hands. He didn’t know who he was crying for: Gamzee or himself.

\- - -

When he woke up the next morning, he looked around, and went back to sleep.

\- - -

“I haven’t seen you much lately.”

He shrugged and looked over her shoulder. She’d dragged him out to a Starbucks (GA: Remember It GA: It’s The Same One We Were Suspended From) and ordered them both some coffee, but he wasn’t in the mood. It was weird: if he’d never gone home yesterday, like his gut was screaming at him not to, he’d still be in a good mood. Maybe he’d be talking about the date with a cheesy, Strider-induced smile, completely unaware of what was waiting for him in his apartment. He grimaced and played with the rim of his cup.

“If this is boring you, we can go shopping. You can make up for ditching us on Founder’s Day.”

Karkat winced and Kanaya must’ve known she’d said the wrong thing, because she tried to backtrack.

“I’m sorry, bringing that up was not my intention-”

“I think I’ll just go home.”

\- - -

“Your blood work has come back. It’s not perfect, but you’ve made great strides from when I first saw you.” Dr. Dante was smiling. That was always good news, because it meant no more pricks for the day.

Karkat shifted on the weird crinkly plastic of the examination table. “That’s good. I’d rather not die gurgling my own blood in the middle of Sunday dinner.”

Dr. Dante cocked her head. Karkat watched as she picked up her clipboard and started writing. “What’s wrong?” she inquired.

“Nothing. Does it look like something’s wrong?”

She put down the clipboard, to Karkat’s mild surprise. She didn’t have the same worried face that everyone else had been giving him. He’d say it was more…resigned. “Yes. It was inevitable.”

Okay, now he was a little scared. He tried to ignore the way his claws dug into the cushion.

“You would end up feeling this way whether you stayed with him or not. Disappointed, depressed, lonely. Imagine you were on a prescription drug that made you feel good. You’d been on this drug for a long time, and while it had its uses before, it was currently making your disease worse.  Would you rather go through withdrawal or suffer the consequences?”

Karkat bit his lip. He knew the right answer, although he hated what it implied. “Withdrawal.”

The dragon placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “Good. In that case, I believe that you should be fine.”

\- - -

He passed the college course with an honestly surprising C+. He thought he’d feel accomplished, but it felt like he’d checked another task off of a long, long list.

\- - -

“Hello?”

“Dave Strider here.”

“Hey, I, um…”

“I’m out of town looking at some new digs, and I forgot my phone charger back home, so this is probably off. Leave a message and I’ll see what I can do.” The sound of a goat bleating.

“Karkat here. That is the douchiest start to a voice message I have ever heard and I am a fine connoisseur of douches. Big, small…anyways. You should change it. Also, maybe we could meet up when you get back? Have fun, I guess. Bye.”

\- - -

Karkat was cooking ramen when there was a knock on the door. His breath hitched, but then he sighed. He kept getting his hopes up, and starting to get annoying at this point. Maybe he’d install a doorbell. Karkat gave the pot one last look to make sure it still needed cooking before leaving to answer the door.

It was the pizza guy. The pizza guy, as in, the same one who always came to their apartment because Gamzee always found a way to leave ridiculous tips. He had scruffy hair that wasn’t unlike Karkat’s, and fangs that curled over his lip. Karkat had his money on vampire, though he could always be a pasty teenager with dreams of being bitten. The guy looked down at the receipt as he thrust the pizza forward.

“Hey, this is $14.68.” Only, oh right, he hadn’t ordered pizza. Karkat looked down at the two outstretched boxes. One was cheese, and the other was half veggie, half meat lovers. He didn’t have to look inside to know what it was, because they ordered the exact same thing every time. Karkat could smell the salami from here.

“Excuse me?” His voice sounded so quiet, like he’d whispered it. Actually, considering the way the pizza guy had leaned forward, he probably did.

“Gamzee’s pizza? He lives here right?”

Did he? Karkat sure as hell didn’t know. He didn’t even know if they were still considered moirails, or they were taking a break, or they were over. Missing furniture wasn’t exactly a ten-page essay. “I, uh…”

“Wait, aw man. He moved, didn’t he?” Karkat stood there speechless. Mainly because he refused to start crying in front of this kid, but also because if he said yes, it would sound way too real. He shoved his hands in his pocket and looked away.

The pizza guy smacked his lips and concentrated on the receipt. He looked up and shrugged. “Yeah, he changed his address on here too. Sorry for the inconvenience, man. See ya.”

Just like that, he turned around and left. Karkat watched as he went down the hallway, entered the elevator, and disappeared.

Disappeared toward Gamzee’s new house. Where Gamzee was currently, right now, in the flesh, and he was definitely there, because he had just called for pizza. Karkat could meet up with him. He could demand the answers that he rightfully deserved.

Or he should do the right thing and go back to making his shitty ramen. And when he went to bed early, he could lie awake thinking about what would’ve happened if he left right now.

Karkat looked at his car keys, which were innocently lying on the counter next to the stove. He really shouldn’t.

“Oh my god, I am going to regret this for the rest of my long-lasting life, aren’t I?” He said, as he turned off the stove, grabbed the car keys, and got in the lane behind the pizza guy, just the stop light turned green.


	18. In Which Karkat Goes to West New Skaia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what an ominous chapter title

Karkat made sure he was at least three cars away at all times. He was pretty sure the guy would notice if the same car had been behind him for a couple miles. Also, he probably knew Karkat’s face at this point.  It would be bad if they connected eyes in his rearview mirror. Karkat gripped the steering wheel as his mind flipped to Gamzee.

He didn’t really know what he expected. Of course, his dream situation was one where Gamzee was already waiting for him. He takes the pizza and pays for it with a hundred dollar bill, because it turns out the real reason why he left was because of a relative’s sudden death, and they’d left him the family fortune. Gamzee then turns to Karkat and smiles, and his smile has that cheesy cartoon glint.

“I knew you would come.” He says, and he embraces Karkat, and then they walk hand in hand into the ridiculously massive mansion he also inherited.

Karkat looked up and noticed that he’d lost the pizza guy. His heart skipped a beat, and he sped forward a little, cutting in front of a few cars until he found the small green sedan again. He gave a breath of relief as he settled back into the seat.

Yeah, that was probably not going to happen. But he would settle for the feeling of Gamzee’s arms around him one more time. Even if it was to say good bye.

They crossed over the bridge to West Skaia, and Karkat got a little wary. When they entered Skaia Falls, a community exclusive to the backstabbingly rich, Karkat got a lot wary. His dream had mostly been half-reality, half-desperate explanation, but it was coming closer and closer to being true. He let a little hope bubble up in his chest as he followed the smooth curves of the road.

The pizza guy stopped at a house that was, well, huge. Karkat stopped a few doors down and cut the engine. He could hear himself breathing heavily now, but he couldn’t help himself. Just like he couldn’t help the way his stomach was twisting. He bit his lip and watched closely as the guy left his car with the pizzas.

He checked the address. Checked the pizzas. Knocked on the door.

And Gamzee opened the door. He looked the same, maybe a little happier than usual. Karkat didn’t know whether to sigh a breath of relief or disappointment. He accepted the pizza and paid in him with a regular $20 dollar bill instead of the usual $30 he insisted on with Karkat. The pizza guy seemed as confused as Karkat was, but he turned away anyways.

And the guy left. Gamzee closed the door and Karkat was starting to wonder if he should’ve even bothered. He could be sound asleep right now. Instead, he was here outside of his ex’s house (seriously, how did he get this place?) waiting for something miraculous to happen like some lovesick idiot. His stomach growled and Karkat decidedly turned on the car engine.

What did he really think was going to happen? Karkat started driving forward, just enough so that he could see Gamzee walk through the house.

He was right outside the window, in what looked like a fancy living room. Karkat could see Gamzee smile down as he checked that the pizzas were okay. Which was, you know, fine. He could move out if that was what he needed: some space. As cheesy as it sounded, Karkat didn’t act the most rational when Gamzee was around.

But then she came out. Karkat stopped on the brakes. Long hair, blond, blue eyes that could pierce through a foggy day, forget the window. She was wearing a white maxi robe with a long gold necklace and earrings. She said something and Gamzee laughed, pointed towards the pizza. She came forward, grabbed a slice. “Thank you,” she said, slowly enough that Karkat could read her lips. She brought up her hand and…

Karkat closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He really, really didn’t. In the back of his mind, he knew this could’ve been in the case, but he’d pushed to the very back of his mind, because he would rather believe that Gamzee had become an overnight multimillionare than that he was cheating on him.

Think on the bright side, he thought to himself, maybe he’d only left him for someone else!

Yeah, neither option made him feel any better about it.

Karkat opened his eyes, and it had only gotten worse. They were forehead to forehead, with Gamzee rubbing her arm softly and her hand still papping his cheek and he couldn’t, he couldn’t watch this anymore. Karkat wiped his eyes and pressed down on the gas until he was flying out of Skaia Falls.

He was going sixty, seventy miles per hour. Eventually he stopped looking at the speedometer and kept his eyes on the road. Thank God West Skaia was so isolated because he wasn’t concentrating on that either. His mind was too filled with rage. He wanted to punch Gamzee, and that girl he was sure identified as an angel, and then drive the car straight into their magical house of wonders. He was so _mad_. It felt like he was in high school again.

Karkat slowed down as he started hitting streetlights, but not by much. He just, how could Gamzee do this to him? How far up his own ass could he be to not realize who had been taking care of him all these years? Who was still stuck paying the bills for an apartment he really couldn’t afford, now that Gamzee wasn’t putting in his two cents every now and then? The hand that had been raking through his hair pulled tight as he bit back a yell. Fuck, how the fuck was he going to do this?

He was still raging when he noticed he’d started moving before the light turned green. Whoops, he thought, briefly before his entire world was slammed a total 180 degrees.

Karkat grabbed his head, which had smacked into the window. It had cracked, but luckily, not broken. The same went for his windshield. His passenger side, however, that would need some heavy TLC. As in, the door had been caved in. Groaning, he reached to unclip his seatbelt. It had cut into his neck, but not enough to do more than give him a heavy bruise. It would’ve been much worse if he was human, and once again, Karkat was grateful he wasn’t one of those spongy spineless creatures.

Then again, they only had one quadrant to juggle, so fair’s fair.

Karkat got out of the car, but whoever had hit him had recovered and were long gone. Great, let’s add a hit and run to Karkat’s list of Grand Fuck Ups. He sat on the curb and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, which had been saved by the airbag that was his ass. Amazing.

“Hey.” Wow, did he really sound like that? He was expecting something snotty and guttural, you know, the way you were supposed to sound when your heart had been torn out through your ass and then shoved back up again. But this was dry and hard. Karkat liked it better.

“Dude, are you okay? Do I need to get over there and bust some nuts-“

Karkat stopped Dave before he could get into a long metaphor. He usually enjoyed them but he would rather enjoy them with the comfort of a bowl of ramen. “It’s okay, it’s- I think I might need a ride home.”

“Okay, sure. I’m getting in my car right now. Don’t move, I’ll be right there.”

“Yeah.” Not like he could go anywhere anyways.

Dave hung up and Karkat stared at his car. Weren’t there people you were supposed to call for this type of stuff? Probably 911, but he wasn’t _that_ hurt. Maybe a tow truck company to get this hunk of junk off of the road, only he was pretty sure it could still drive. He just didn’t want to.

His phone started ringing again. Dave again.

“Wait, so where are you, exactly?” Karkat let himself smile a little. He looked up to check the street names above him.

“The intersection of, um, Salamander and Spire. I think that’s what it says. You know what, it’s West Skaia, okay?”

“Okay cool. See you soon.”

It didn’t take long before he heard a car horn. It was a small black car, and Dave looked awkward in it, like he was trying his best not to touch anything. Karkat gave mercy on him and entered the car before he could get out. The car was even lusher on the inside. Cushioned leather seats and a crystal clear surround system he knew Dave couldn’t afford. He turned to look at Dave, who’d taken the time to readjust the driver’s seat.

“Whose car is this?” He opened his mouth like he was about to defend it, but then he gave up and shrugged.

“I was at my sister’s when you called, so I took her car. I’m a smooth criminal.” His fingers tapped against the wheel as he put the car in drive. “She’s thinking about throwing me a going-away party.”

Karkat didn’t say anything about that. He didn’t think he could handle juggling two untimely departures at once. So he simply nodded, and realized if he went back to that empty apartment, he would probably burn the place to the ground out of pure rage. He’d already seen what it had done to his car.

“Do you think we could go your place? I really don’t want to go home by myself right now.”

“No prob.” Dave simply flipped on a blinker. But the longer they sat in silence, the more Karkat’s anger bubbled inside of him. He’d thought he’d fall apart into tears, but instead everything fueled the fire.

“You know, that assbag was always mooching off of me. He never once paid for something all by himself. It was always ‘oh, don’t worry brother, I’ll pay you back’. Yeah, pay me back by backstabbing when my fucking guard is down, nice way to moirail, douchebag.” Karkat mumbled as they crossed the bridge back into East Skaia.

“He never cleaned up either! I swear I would go out for two seconds and I’d come back and it’d look like a bunch of grubfuckers had simultaneously thrown a rave and a pyro party, then sat back and watched the fucking results.” Karkat said as they’d gotten up to his apartment. Dave turned around as he unlocked the door.

“What’s a pyro party?”

Karkat crossed his arms. “Setting random ass things on fire because why wouldn’t you want scorched items and valuables? Another lesson I had to learn the hard way.”

“I’m going to dodge the obvious dick joke here and go for, I’m guessing Gamzee was the teacher of that lesson.” The door clicked, and they entered the apartment.

“Well, it wasn’t just him. Our place was open to anyone who needed somewhere to stay due to our overflowing friendliness and kindness.”

 “So basically it was all his idea.” Dave rose an eyebrow and Karkat took a moment to enjoy how comical it made him look, before continuing.

He nodded. “Our toaster was stolen.”

“Dude, this guy sounds like straight bad business. Like, we put all of our money in the stock market and whoops, the stock market just crashed, buddy; bad business.” Karkat moved towards the kitchen, where he had a better viewpoint of the apartment. The place looked like he was about to move out any second now. Anything that wasn’t in daily use was boxed, and there were small box stacks all over the place.

Karkat stared at one of them now as he talked. “I thought that he would have the general decency to care about someone before he agreed to this. I don’t know about him, but our relationship? It meant something to me. It meant I cared, and that I would never pull this shit.” He felt the anger drain away as he realized something.

“I thought I could help him.”

Karkat couldn’t help it: he cried. At least it wasn’t noisy; as long as he kept his mouth shut and his back facing Dave nobody would have to know. He could cry over this emptiness he’d felt for the last two weeks but hadn’t been able to understand until now. Karkat held one hand to his mouth and used the other to keep himself steady against the counter.

Arms wrapped around him. Dave must’ve noticed anyways, surprise surprise, nothing ever worked out like he’d planned. They weren’t lanky and long like the ones he had been expecting, but they were good. And good things didn’t come often, so Karkat would take them.

When Karkat had retained enough composure to stop crying into Dave’s shoulder, Dave put on a movie. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he was had the idea that it was something loud with a lot of explosions and car chases. A great choice, because it blasted all of the thoughts out of Karkat’s head. All he was thinking about was how soft Dave’s hair (and lips) was, and how he was practically the same temperature he was, and the way Dave’s hand felt perfect when it was holding his.

He could think about Gamzee and compare the two. But he wasn’t going to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't rage and drive, kids


	19. In Which Dave Can Make A Pretty Mean Omelet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! just a quick notification that i finished this and the next (and last!) chapter will be posting tomorrow  
> as always thank you so much for reading! you guys truly make my day, all of you, both long-time and short-time readers  
> i can assure the message for tomorrow is even sappier, but right now, while i am still here physically uploading, thank you so much for everything

Dave had always had some idea of Karkat’s other relationship. He was pretty sure it was the reason why Karkat had only just started warming up to him. The Target stuff, Rachel…hell, he’d seen the guy in Karkat’s apartment window before. It was back when he was leaving Karkat gifts like some remix of Santa Claus and St. Valentine, and he peeked in to make sure he wasn’t home. The messy hair made him duck behind the car, but the height pretty much confirmed it wasn’t Karkat.

He didn’t seem too bad from the window. But really, who does? Dave took a break from his thoughts to look down at Karkat again. The troll had turned into his shoulder when the explosions on screen got too bright to look at, and now he was drooling away.

It may or may not have been the cutest thing he had ever seen. Forget cavity-inducing, this was straight-up kiss kiss fall in love proportions.

Dave just wished he could’ve seen this face under better circumstances. He brushed Karkat’s coarse hair out of his mouth and decided it was about time to go to bed. He slowly turned around, keeping Karkat’s head propped on his chest, and then hooked his arms up under his legs. Yeah, this was a lot more romantic when you didn’t factor in the weight. Dave took a breath, made sure Karkat was still sleeping, and walked (read: waddled) to his bedroom.

Despite what many might believe, he wasn’t a total asshole. He wouldn’t leave Karkat to wake up on the couch all alone. Neither was he the type to make it seem like something had happened last night. So Dave laid Karkat down on the right side of the futon and scooted all the way over to the left. Not his usual spot, but whatever, he’d get used to it.

Dave turned back and looked up at the ceiling. He couldn’t help but feel like he should’ve known. Maybe through the simple fact that Karkat was hella more lively than he was that first day at OfficeMan. Or how scared, no, terrified he’d been when he’d gotten that text during their date. Even thinking about it made his stomach twist with guilt, and he moved to look at his (hmm, his was new) favorite troll.

Dave watched Karkat’s chest rise and fall until he fell asleep as well.

\- - -

He was already awake when Karkat got up, but he wasn’t in the mood to get up himself. Luckily, this meant he got to watch the second Karkat’s eyes fluttered open. He groaned something not too far from _uunnnnnggghh_ and lifted his hand to his head. Dave tracked him as Karkat propped himself up with his other arm and turned his head to see Dave. He seemed a little surprised, but he quickly adapted and put on his lovable grumpy face. Aww.

“Oh. Um.” He rubbed his forearm and looked away, and Dave decided to spare him.

“Do you like tomatoes?” Well, his version of sparing.

Karkat yawned, reaching both arms into a stretch that pulled up his wrinkled shirt and exposed a sliver of stomach. The troll stuck him with a half-lidded glare. “What the actual fuck are you talking about.”

Dave reluctantly pulled himself out of bed before he let his incubus out to play. Seriously, with Karkat looking like that, it would be a game. He could see it now: a subtle shuffle forward, a hand on the shoulder, and an introduction on how to play Nervous. Eye contact all the way through, or else he’d lose his grip-

He grabbed his sunglasses, which had fallen off of his face and onto the floor. “I’m going to make omelets for breakfast. Warning in advance, I only have like half of a tomato left, so it might not taste that great.”

Karkat visibly relaxed as he understood. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to his chest. “Sure.” As soon he was done talking, he pulled it over his head and collapsed back onto the futon. Dave smiled and went to go make those omelets.

\- - -

Karkat joined him as he was mid-flip. The omelet looked gorgeous, of course.  They were one of the few things he managed to ace making when he was living with Bro. For some reason, eggs were the only thing he could count on being in the fridge, at any time. Anyways, the point was that Dave was actually the Grand MC of cooking omelets. He watched Karkat out of the corner of his eye as the troll took a seat at the island counter. He could get used to cooking a bedraggled Karkat breakfast the morning after. He kept his smile to a smirk and flipped the omelet again.

“Thanks for, you know. Making breakfast.”

Dave shrugged as he slid the egg onto a very fancy paper plate. Truly, the dinnerware of the gods. “No problem.”

They were in calm silence as Dave started making the second. Eventually, Karkat got up and started looking around. Probably looking for something to do. Dave got ready to ask him what he was looking for, but Karkat had already gotten ahold of the bread. He plugged in the toaster and popped in the last four slices of bread.

Dave didn’t mind, because now he had a perfect excuse to get absurdly close to Karkat for no reason. He snorted when Dave not-so-subtlely bumped into him in order to get a spice that he honestly didn’t need, but he didn’t move away. Dave usually hated mornings, but this one was not bad.

“Are we still going to keep this going after you move?” He tried to keep his hand from twitching too hard and splitting the omelet in two. Dave always liked that about Karkat: he wasn’t afraid to address the elephant in the room. Him, he’d been more than ready to ignore it. Hell, he’d rather let the elephant stampede and fuck up the entire room than talk about it.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Dave flipped the omelet and made sure his face didn’t show how worried he was. He just hoped this wasn’t the start of a very sad break-up.

Karkat grabbed the jam out of the fridge before turning to look at him. “Seriously. We’re going to be in different place, schedules won’t sync up…”

Dave knew. Long distance wasn’t a joke. It meant they couldn’t just meet up for coffee or surprise each other every evening. Ha, try every other week, _maybe_. And Skype dates could only do so much.

But he knew that he’d be willing to go through it if it meant he could have more mornings like this.

“I dunno, dude. Guess we’ll have to make it work.” Dave hoped Karkat wasn’t taking his flippancy seriously, but Karkat seemed to get what he was saying.

Karkat gave a soft smile. God, he was perfect. “I guess so.”

The toast sprung out. Dave grabbed two of them and started buttering them. When he turned around to grab the fresh omelet, it was gone. He looked at Karkat in time to see the first steaming bite disappear between his lips. Damn.

He grabbed a seat and watched as the egg slowly disappeared from Karkat’s plate. Like he said, he was the Grand MC of cooking omelets.

“So? Did I rock your world?”

Karkat shrugged. “Meh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many times can you say omelet before it starts to sound weird? (it's 19) (wow how weird that this would be the nineteenth chapter and that the answer is also 19)


	20. In Which The Two Protagonists Find Their Own Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (fell asleep without pressing the post button :/)  
> it's finally time for the ending! this three year trip of angsty boys and their problems. honestly, i can barely believe it myself, but it's more than time i should've ended it. btw, this was supposed to be a five-chapter little thing that started with a firehot succubus dave and ended with things getting a little frisky ;) but i dunno, i think i like this version better.  
> alright, enough blabbering. time for the story.

Dave was out standing by the few boxes he actually brought down himself. Long story short, he was waiting for the moving truck. Short story long, the moving guys said it was going to be at the apartment an hour ago, so naturally, he waited until it was due in thirty minutes before he started bringing things down. Besides, he had people upstairs.

Speaking of people, Rose had finally made it outside. He was started to get bored staring out into the street. She was holding two boxes marked “bedroom”, and Dave was not sure how comfortable he was with her holding those. There could literally be _anything_ in there, considering his memories of packing that box consisted of walking around his room and throwing in whatever he bumped into.

She stopped before hitting the curb, probably noticing that he was still standing here sans moving truck. But instead of striking up conversation or anything, she put down the boxes in exchange. Rose sat down on them (no no no), crossed her legs, and unclipped this mini thermos mug from her belt loop. She unscrewed the lid, and Dave could practically smell the tea from there.

Well that, and she was sitting close enough for him to look inside it.

“Jesus Lalonde, don’t you want water? It’s already boiling outside, no need to make your insides as hot as your outsides.”

Rose raised an eyebrow, and Dave decided to play his “flee” card while it was still usable. Yup, nothing like silently facing the road and trying to reclaim your dignity.

A few more minutes passed before the next person came down. This time it was Kanaya. Her face was flushed green as she used both of her arms to hold one giant box to her chest. He didn’t know if he should tell her that the box was labeled “MISC. SHIT” (a la Karkat) and was full of stuff he would probably end up throwing out once he got to the new digs. It would’ve been A-OK if she’d just kicked it down the stairs.

Her face lit up when she saw Dave, and she hobbled towards him.

“So, where is this moving truck?”

Could she handle the truth? “No idea.”

Kanaya nodded. She put the box down next to the others and went to go sit with Rose. What a trooper. Still, Dave watched her carefully to see if she would take a cup of tea from Rose. He had to make sure at least one person in that house knew when it was not tea time, aka any time after 11 a.m. and before 6 p.m.

Aradia came down the stairs next. Yup, he’d even pulled his coworkers into helping him. No one could escape the clutches of a lazy Strider. He’d almost roped John into coming by with his ugly but sometimes useful pick-up truck, but he’d already been roped into going to a comedian convention with his dad. Which was also the same reason why Mr. Egbert wasn’t here.

She was holding one box with the label facing some other direction, and she smiled when she talked to him.

“Good luck with moving. I’m sure there will be both many good things and bad things for you to experience.”

Dave raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure you’re only supposed to wish for good things.”

“Why? You learn just as much from the bad things.”

“I guess that’s true.” That was that old Aradia charm. She was pretty smart, when it got down to it. She also didn’t seem to care whether what she said was normal. He was going to miss her.

Aradia was still looking at him expectantly, and then he realized what she was waiting for.

“Oh yeah, the truck’s not coming anytime soon.”

Aradia dropped the box. On the positive side, she’d only been holding one box. But now that it was face down on the ground, Dave could see that it was marked FRAGILE. Of course, because he’d been wondering what he was going to do with the extra paper plates. He looked from her, to the box, and back again.

She picked it up again, but they both knew that that shit was beyond repair. Aradia gave him a shy smile.

“Well, they were bound to break someday.” She wasn’t wrong, but Dave couldn’t help but feel for the “#1 Kool Kid” mug he threw in there.

He turned his head to the sound of a thump on the concrete. It was his couch, with a stone-faced but sweaty Equius leaning against the back. Turns out he could carry the whole thing by himself. And down five flights of stairs. Dave was impressed. That is, until Equius brought out one of Dave’s handtowels and started wiping himself down, ew. Dave gave that handtowel a moment of silence, before waiting to see who else was coming down.

It was Karkat, with a clipboard in his hands, but what did he expect. The troll could be downright efficient when he wanted to be. Dave watched as Karkat looked all the box labels, crossing things out as he came closer and closer. Eventually, he was right in front of him. He showed Dave the clipboard full of all his items. “Well, now you’ve officially moved out of New Skaia. Your apartment is totally empty while you stood out here and did absolutely jackshit.”

Dave shrugged and put his hands in his pocket.

“I’m a regular Tom Sawyer. I might as well get confused young boys to paint fences for me and skip school like the rapscallion I am.”

The troll raised an eyebrow as he loosely tapped his pen against the clipboard. “You already skipped all four years of college. There’s nothing else to skip.”

He was looking forward to more of this; Karkat when he wasn’t sad or mad or frustrated. Well, maybe frustrated was unavoidable. He should rephrase that. He was looking forward to seeing Karkat trying to keep a smile off of his face, and losing.

“There’s always grad school.”

They both took a step without thinking, as if they were being drawn towards each other.

“Bzzzt. Can’t go to grad school if you didn’t go to undergrad.”

“So what is a rebel like me supposed to do if I’m not playing hooky?” C’mon, take the bait. Dave even licked his lips, just to lure Karkat’s eyes downwards.  
Karkat rolled his eyes, although he didn’t do it for long. He was too busy falling hook, line, and sinker into Dave’s trap. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

They kissed, of course. And for Dave, the best part about kissing Karkat wasn’t how soft his lips were, or how everything seemed to fade away until it was just at the edges of his mind. It was how normal it felt. It was like he could do this for days and every single time it would feel like the first time.

Suddenly, Dave heard a remix of the sound of a can of soda opening and someone choking on machine oil. Not too different from a school bus. Still, he only opened his eyes when he felt Karkat’s lips leave his. He sighed and looked at the source of the distraction.

It was the moving truck.

With all six of them helping, the truck got loaded pretty quickly. Dave didn’t even know he had that much stuff. But with all of it stacked up like that, it seemed pretty obvious that he actually had been building something here. Dave wondered how much might’ve been there if he stayed here longer. Not that it mattered, now that he was practically out the door. It was time to go.

He said goodbye to everyone and thanked them for stopping by, mainly because he couldn’t get himself to turn the keys of the car. Then everyone took a not-so-subtle shuffle away, because he turned to Karkat. Dave opened his mouth to remind him that they were going to see each other this weekend, but he finds himself with an armful of warm troll instead. He supposed there weren’t any real words that could make this better.

Dave had no idea how long they hugged, but apparently it was long enough for Rose to clear her throat. He glared at her (he had his sunglasses on but he knew that she knew what it meant) and let go. The next moments he took so quickly it almost gave him emotional whiplash, but he had to. If he saw one more sad smile, he didn’t know if he could make it. So Dave started up his car, waved without really looking, and left.

He totally didn’t look into the rearview window as he drove away. That would be uncool of him.

\--

Karkat was starting to love the smell of fresh paint.

He had to, now that he’d painted his apartment.

And he didn’t even have to pay for it. Terezi had just shown up on his doorstep with two buckets full of pale blue paint and a smug look in her eyes. He had no idea how she knew (seriously, was it Kanaya? He’d only told her that Gam- his ex-moirail had moved out), but he was grateful. Especially since she didn’t fucking rub “I told you so” in his face. Karkat was actually amazed by that. He didn’t know if he could do the same, if the tables were turned.

She made it seem like they were just having fun, but it was more than that. They painted over the weirdly shaped stains and splotches of glitter water. While one coat was drying, she’d sit him down and get him to describe/rant all the stuff around them, all the long stories that they were painting over. Or they’d go into another room and she’d try to guess what it was used for.

“This is definitely your room. It smells just like you!”

“And what do I smell like?”

“A nerd. Kind of an assault to the senses, really.”

And on and on until all of the rooms had been painted and Terezi left with a smile and Karkat was left sitting there. It was a little shocking at first. He had to get used to the fact that he wasn’t constantly thinking about the past anymore whenever he stayed in a room too long. Those walls had been their versions of family photos on the mantle. But honestly? It was like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Karkat didn’t have to actively shove his ex-moirail out of his mind when pulled one of the chairs over to reach the tall cabinets.

He wasn’t the same person he was a couple weeks ago, before he met Dave. Then again, he wasn’t his high school self either. But whoever he was becoming, it felt like himself and Karkat liked the feeling.

Karkat met with Dr. Dante that Thursday. She ran her usual checks and sat him down at the chair in front of her desk. Normally, he felt tired when he sat in this chair, because he knew he would have to field an avalanche of question. But this time, he was somewhat okay with it. He was actually fine.

Dr. Dante crossed her talons. “So, are you happy with how things are going?”  
Karkat didn’t say anything; he just smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you


End file.
